5 Things I Won’t Ever Apologize for as a Single Mom

I’ve said sorry more times than I care to admit. I’ve apologized for so many things.

I’ve apologized …

  • For stuff I’ve actually done
  • Crap I thought about doing
  • Things I wanted to do
  • For things I worried I might do
  • For things I’ve never even done
  • For my existence

Women are raised to apologize and be “good” all the time. Couple that with some insecurities and, bam, you’ve got a walking, talking apology machine.

But each day, week, month, and year, I get a bit stronger and a bit more sure of myself. And I’m tired of saying “sorry,” “my apologies,” “I didn’t mean to,” and a whole bunch of other phrases that all make me put my metaphorical tail between my legs.

Read More: 5 Things I Won’t Ever Apologize for as a Single Mom

NOT Sorry,

Laura

How to Handle Questions About Your Single Parent Status During Interviews

Being a working single parent is tough.

Trying to find a job as a single parent is tougher—especially if you’re an unemployed single parent.

Been there. Done that. Got the t-shirt, wrinkles, and stress-inducing memories to boot.

Even if you’re working already, hunting for a new role and going through the interview process is nerve-wracking.

As a writer, interviewers could look up my work and know I was a single parent. If the

company doesn’t know that you’re a parent and in particular, a single parent, I would

recommend to not share that information unless someone asks you if you have children.

Legally, they shouldn’t at all—and you don’t have to answer. It’s up to you.

While I’d like to tell all of you that your single parent status won’t come up during

interviews thanks to proper HR protocol, that’s not the case. I’ve had many interviews

where hiring managers, potential coworkers and other staff have asked me either

pointed questions or direct questions. In some cases, I had great responses prepared

because I had been “down that road” before but in other cases, I either balked or got

frustrated.

Read More: How to Handle Questions About Your Single Parent Status During Interviews

You’ve Got This!

Laura

10 New Year’s Resolutions Every Working Mom 40 and Over Needs to Make

There comes a time in your life when certain behaviors, thoughts or expectations of yourself are no longer valid. At some point, we all tell ourselves, “I’m getting too old for this garbage.”

Forty is that age.

I remember thinking 40-year-olds were pretty much crypt-keepers when I was a kid, but our 40s are different than our mothers’ 40s. I’m not sure what exactly my mom thought when she hit 4-0, but I know for so many of my friends, we found ourselves wondering: What’s next? What haven’t I done yet that I’ve been wanting to do? What and who in my life needs to go at this point? What do I still have to figure out?

In other words, it’s the “I’m going for it” decade. Our forward motion is propelled by the confidence we gained from growing ourselves in our 20s and 30s. With that said, the New Year is almost here. What should we feisty 40-something working moms embrace as our New Year resolutions to make 2019 a kick-ass-and-take-names type of year? Here’s what I suggest:

Read More: 10 New Year’s Resolutions Every Working Mom 40 and Over Needs to Make

Resolving,

Laura

25 Ways to Make a Working Mom’s Life More Bearable

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I might share some things that people—family, friends, spouses, etc.—could do to actually make a working mom’s life easier and more bearable.

People offer help. They mean well. But let’s be honest: Working moms often end up doing everything by ourselves anyway. So instead of gifts (which are lovely and we’ll take them, thank you), try one of the suggestions below to make Mother’s Day really magical for the bone-weary working mom in your life. You can even take it to the next level and implement these year-round …

1. Spend time with us in low-key ways. We’re busy, but we promise we want to see you.

Read More: 25 Ways to Make a Working Mom’s Life More Bearable

Happy Mother’s Day!

Laura

The 5 Types of Moms Who Take Maternity Leave

Yay! You’re having a baby. Your job threw you a party. Your coworkers said they’d miss you. They all can’t wait to meet your bundle of joy and hear all about your life as a mom … once you come back to work. You’re coming back, right?

You said yes—although perhaps, you might have crossed your fingers behind your back thinking, “We’ll see about that.” Or maybe you squealed earnestly that you couldn’t wait to get back to your best work buds. How could you survive without them? How could you survive without being in your work element?

Whoever you are on the spectrum of moms taking maternity leave, you’ll probably find yourself in one of these well-known types.

1. The Desperate Coworker:

You feel left out as you watch your coworkers post happy hour selfies on social media. You wonder, “Is that an inside joke about the delivery guy?” You call, text and comment, desperately trying to be included at work …. So much so, your coworkers have referred to you as the nagging younger sister.

Read More: The 5 Types of Moms Who Take Maternity Leave

Working Mom Life,

Laura

15 Things Working Moms Should Definitely NOT Do This Holiday Season

The holidays are a special time of year, but they’re also the time of year for insane work deadlines, sugary binge-eating, serious spending—and way too much time with those extended family members we avoid the rest of the year. So it’s pretty easy to blow a gasket or burst a seam while at work or home during this period. Want to avoid losing it this year end, and gain some ho-ho-ho instead? Do not do these things.

1. Line Up Back-up Care at the Last Minute

Will the kids be out of from school from before Christmas until after the New Year, but you’ll be powering through at the office? Hello, working mom. Many of us will be making the commute to work during the holidays. One thing you definitely cannot do at the last minute: get back-up care.

You think your family and friends will be around to watch the kids. You think your sitter will be on deck. Uh, uh, life happens. So make concrete plans well in advance—including a plan B in case plan A falls through. This way, your kids will be cared for, and you won’t have to drag them with you to the office (if you’re even allowed to).

Read More: 15 Things Working Moms Should Definitely NOT Do This Holiday Season

Relax This Season,

Laura

Why This Working Mom Loves Stay-at-Home Moms

I have been on both sides of the great motherhood coin.

I was once the stay-at-home mom (SAHM) who worked from home at night, or on Sundays strictly part-time, but I was mostly home. I didn’t miss a day with my daughter, and now, I am a working single mother who uses after care and, sometimes, before care. From managing the home front full-time to working 9-to-5 or later full-time, I have done it all. I can tell you the pros and cons of both situations. I can wax poetic on the battles I had as an SAHM, versus the battles I have now as a working parent.

No matter which side of the coin you are on, parenting is a hard job.

I have never understood why other women feel the need to make anyone else’s parenting choice — whether it to be at home or to work — their business. No one’s situation is the same, and for many of us, our situations change and develop as our kids grow. As mothers, we have seasons in our lives in which we have to decide how to prioritize our time, money, and lives based around our kids’ unique developmental needs.

So bottom line, how does putting someone else down for her choice or comparing your situation to someone else’s make anything any better?

Read More: Why This Working Mom Loves Stay-at-Home Moms

Thank You Ladies,

Laura

12 Things Single Working Moms and Their Kids Need for a Happy Life

Single parenthood is the hardest thing I have done in my life. Every time I think I have it down, life throws me a curve ball and reminds me that I’m just a student of motherhood who will be dealing with a whirlwind syllabus for the rest of my life. I think all mothers can relate to this. Still, I find the pressure of mothering alone to be particularly intense. I often hold myself to impossible standards. I have lost a home and moved and then moved again for work. I have tried to build a career while figuring out how to be a solo parent at the same time.

One thing I’ve learned in this burgeoning journey: There are some things a single mom and her kids need and deserve to be happy. For starters, our own health and happiness are vital—a foundation for our kids to perch and grow upon. If we’re rocky, chances are our kids will stumble on the stones. This doesn’t mean we need to be perfect, but it does mean single moms (and as in my case, moms of divorce) must care for ourselves even as we fervently attend to our children.

Here are some of the things I believe we single moms need to do it.

1. A Single-Mom Network or Friend to Fall Back On

You must, must, must, even with all of your wonderful married friends, have at least one single mom friend who sees you as family, and vice versa. This will allow you both to help each other out when times get tough. No one understands your situation better than those wearing the same clunky shoes. So get out there and befriend someone. Even if you don’t have a ton in common, that one common bond will help both of you—even if it’s being each other’s emergency contact and back-up childcare.
Read More:12 Things Single Working Moms and Their Kids Need for a Happy Life

Build Your Network,

Laura

8 Complications You Run Into at Work as a Working Mother

You know you’re a working mom when you enter the office in a beautiful new dress and have a glaring PB and J stain or snot rocket all over the front of it. Of course, you didn’t realize it because you were too busy shoving kids into a car or chasing them toward the bus stop with the hopes that somehow everyone would end up in one piece at school.

Your survival — and your new dress — was secondary.

Having office hours while caring for kiddos can get pretty complicated, even if you’re miles away from them at the office. Read through for eight reasons.

1. The Outfit Conundrum

You get a great deal at Loft on new office dresses. Your child gets a great craving for cheese puffs. You walk into the office with orange stains down the front like you just exited a clown car. You took so much time to do your hair though (and by time, we mean five minutes) that you don’t even recognize the hot orange streaks on your outfit. You’re too pleased you’re having a good hair day.

 

Read More: 8 Complications You Run Into at Work as a Working Mother

You Really Liked That Dress,

Laura

10 Signs You’re a New Working Mom

If you still dread handing off your new baby to daycare, if you wonder how you’re going to manage at work while missing your precious kids, if you’re toting a breast pump back and forth every day, if you’ve got spit-up on your button-down shirt, yep, you’re a new working mom. You know what? Millions of mothers who have walked the same path have survived and thrived (and so have their kids). It will get better, it will get easier. Meanwhile, take comfort in these new-working-mom common bonds—and take in a few tips too.

1. Your daycare knows your voice the minute you say hi.

You have called your caregiver so many times that they know your ring and answer the phone with your name. But they get it: You can’t help checking up on your child. Meanwhile, to manage daycare anxiety pangs:
• Be sure you’ve chosen the right childcare fit for your situation. It could be daycare, it could be a nanny or an au pair. If you’re not sure which is the better way, read this article on which option will work best for you.
• Remind yourself to breathe—your anxiety may be affecting your health.
• Ease up on yourself. It’s totally OK to be concerned this new phase for you and your baby.

Read More: 10 Signs You’re a New Working Mom

It’s Tough, But You Can Do It!

Laura