I Never Thought Being a Single Parent Would Be So Hard Financially

In today’s world, kids are expensive.

Actually, everything is expensive and in my home state, it’s doubly so. When my ex and I started talking about divorce, I knew it would be financially hard. I lived on my own before getting married, and I knew it would be a costly endeavor, especially with a kid. It definitely was discouraging, but I knew we had to make the call. Even if I ended up struggling for eternity, this marriage was ending.

I never believed that I would struggle for eternity (and still don’t). If you asked me five years ago when we separated what my financial long-term plan was, I’d tell you it was to pay off debts, save and live. Are those bad goals? Nope, they’re fine — but they weren’t concrete or specific enough.

I talked to a financial planner thanks to the amazing organization, Savvy Ladies. I budgeted. In fact, I still tweak my budget often and track my spending daily. I even budgeted for emergencies and stuff that might happen along the way while I planned out my “financial life” as a single parent.

 

Read More:  I Never Thought Being a Single Parent Would Be So Hard Financially

 

Hang Tight,

Laura

6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Very shortly, it will be 3 years since my divorce date and over 5 years since I have been separated from my ex-husband. As it gets close to that date each year which also is right next to our wedding anniversary ironically, I always reflect on the trials, wins, and growth I’ve made in that time. In some ways, I always find myself a bit short of where I want to be, and in other ways, I always find that I’ve surpassed my expectations. Now that it’s almost three years out, here’s what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed.

1. DOING THE RIGHT THING ALWAYS PAYS OFF

There were many times when it came to my ex or things involving him where friends would say I was “too nice” or going out of my way.
This isn’t to say that I always did the right thing each time, but that overall, I usually tried to do the right thing.

I think it’s paid off. I think my daughter has learned a lot from my example, and I think it has helped bridge the gap and heal relationships between myself and my ex’s family. I think it’s helped to ensure that my daughter has a relationship with them as well. I even see some positive changes between my ex and me, so I’ll take them.

Read More: 6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Learning & Growing,

Laura

You Can’t Keep Up With Your Married Friends’ Budgets After Divorce–& That’s Ok!

Although there are exceptions to every rule, many of us feel a financial lifestyle shift after divorce. This impact can be lessened if you end up getting good financial support from an ex or, if you have family who helps support you. But overall, most people have to make financial adjustments. This may mean that you won’t be able to spend like you used to on everything from “must-have’s” to “want-to have’s.” This can be extremely frustrating and hard to adjust to, but the reality is being happy is more important than having a certain lifestyle. As long as you have a roof over your head and are healthy … that’s more than many people have.

If you beat yourself up over these financial changes, it can really bring you down. There’s nothing worse than the feeling of coming up empty-handed, while you think others are doing great and able to give their kids the world. The operative word being “think,” as you really don’t know how other people live, and what they go through. And no matter what, you’ll never measure up by comparing yourself to a two-income family and by doing so, you will only make yourself feel worse. There are ways, however, to deal with these financial stresses and comparisons between your friends and yourself. Read on – and hang on because it always gets better.

Read More: You Can’t Keep Up With Your Married Friends’ Budgets After Divorce–& That’s Ok!

In the Balance,

Laura

What It Might Mean If You’re Crying For No Reason

There are many times when I’ve seen someone else, or have myself, burst into tears. Let’s just say pregnancy comes with a lot of teary showers for nine months. And then, postpartum? Those first few days after giving birth, I cried lots of happy, emotional, and exhausted tears.

Even if it may appear on the outside as if you have no reason to cry, we often internally know exactly why we’ve got major tears and are crying for no reason. Some cry when they get mad, and others cry when they’re PMSing. It’s not unusual to cry due to hormonal changes, and exhaustion can also make someone burst into tears. You name it, the list can roll on.

But I was curious to see what experts in the psychology field had to say about people who find themselves crying for no reason and burst into tears without explanation. Here’s what they had to say.

Read More: What It Might Mean If You’re Crying For No Reason

Wipe Those Tears,

Laura

I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Ever since I was little, I have always had a strong personality and Type A ways. Not extremely Type A, like ironing my curtains or heading up every PTO class, but Type A as in as a child, I secretly (and quietly in my head) hated when people put my toys back in the wrong spot and as an adult, I am very organized and rely on to-do lists, reminders and documents to keep me on track and progressing.

In my life, this has benefited me in many ways. I managed my life as a comedian and actress for a long time because of this. I excelled in college due to my personality traits. And as a single mom, I have picked myself up and dusted myself off with my guts, determination, organizational skills, and direction. This has helped me infinitely in terms of adjusting to life with just me and my little one.

Read More: I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Always Learning,

Laura

6 Lessons Learned on My Three-Year Divorce Anniversary

Very shortly, it will be 3 years since my divorce date and over 5 years since I have been separated from my ex-husband. As it gets close to that date each year which also is right next to our wedding anniversary ironically, I always reflect on the trials, wins, and growth I’ve made in that time. In some ways, I always find myself a bit short of where I want to be, and in other ways, I always find that I’ve surpassed my expectations. Now that it’s almost three years out, here’s what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed.

1. DOING THE RIGHT THING ALWAYS PAYS OFF

There were many times when it came to my ex or things involving him where friends would say I was “too nice” or going out of my way.
This isn’t to say that I always did the right thing each time, but that overall, I usually tried to do the right thing.

Read More: 6 Lessons Learned on My Three-Year Divorce Anniversary

Growing,

Laura

9 Traits Grown Women Find Seriously Attractive in Men

Lots of guys ask questions like, “Why do girls like bad boys?”, wondering what it is women find even remotely attractive about men who end up hurting them. But if you really want to know how to get a girl to like you, the last place you should look for inspiration about what women find attractive are those rebels without a clue. And women, you should be paying no attention at all to those bad boys. They’ll only leave you high and dry, and they’re really no fun, save for – maybe – a few bedroom romps.

Honestly, if you’re over 21, you probably already know how quickly these kinds of guys lose their appeal. They’ve got a clear expiration date. They’re cute when they’re young, but as a girl matures into a woman, her patience for them disappears. And while the saying that “Good men are hard to find” may be popular for good reason, the good news is that at least they aren’t impossible to find. They do exist! And when we ladies finally figure out how to find a good man, there are so many things about that person that we love that we cannot help but overlook the small things he might do to upset us.

Truly, when you break it down, bad guys are “boys,” but good guys are “men.” Would you rather play with a boy – or run with a man? So guys, here are the dominant personality traits grown women find most attractive and utterly irresistible about a good man that make bad boys look like little babies. (After all, ladies, if you want to find a good man, you need to know what you’re looking for and why these men are so much better than that “bad boy” who’s been stringing you along.)

Read More: 9 Traits Grown Women Find Seriously Attractive in Men

Boys Drool, Men Rule,

Laura

3 Things to Do Immediately When Someone Has Hurt You & Broke Your Heart

There is no pain like the pain of heartbreak. The pain of someone lying to you. The pain of an affair.The pain of finding out someone you thought loved you, doesn’t. Whatever the story is,  we’ve all been hurt in some way or capacity and we can recall those feelings vividly within a second!

I know for me, my immediate reaction, like many people when I’ve been hurt, is anger. Vivid, wrathful anger. There is no pain like being hurt by someone you care about.

But there are constructive ways to handle the pain and “destructive” ways to handle it. Here are 3 things to do immediately when someone has hurt you– 3 things that will help you without being destructive.

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8 Ways to Raise Up Other Women in Honor of International Women’s Day

There is no point in having an International Women’s Day if we don’t do anything to celebrate ourselves as women and other women as well. And while I highly encourage every woman to celebrate herself all the time, 24/7, there is one thing we should really do on this special day for women, and that’s raise each other up.

We all know what it’s like to be “taken down” by another woman—to feel another woman’s wrath, judgment and/or jealousy. And in response to that, I have heard a lot of women say how they don’t like being friends with other women because of that. To me, I just think that person isn’t choosing the right ladies to be friends with!

Women are powerful. In the words of Diane Mariechild, “A woman is the full circle. Within her is the power to create, nurture and transform.”

So, let us help other women by nurturing them so they can transform to be the very best women they’re meant to be, in the following ways:

Read More: 8 Ways to Raise Up Other Women in Honor of International Women’s Day

Rising,

Laura

How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

We can all look back and feel regret or pain over mistakes or choices we have made. No one is perfect. Life is a journey and on our journey, we take wrong turns and make bad moves. If we knew everything already, we most likely wouldn’t need to be here. We’ve all felt regret and wanted to kick ourselves over things we’ve done. This is normal.

When it becomes unhealthy is when we dwell, living in the fear of our mistakes lurking behind us like shadows. When we can’t forgive ourselves and move forward. When we continue to judge ourselves in the present and future for actions that are left in the past, that is unhealthy. We need to be able to wave goodbye to the choices of the past and move ahead towards the future without yoking ourselves too intimately to our pasts. As long as we are not repeating the same choices, why should we continue to beat ourselves up, sentencing ourselves to misery?

Read More: How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

Heal,

Laura