7 False Things Every Verbal Abuser Wants You To Believe (But You Shouldn’t)

Verbal abusers have a sophisticated way of having you believe their hogwash. They use a lot emotional smokescreens, verbiage, and myths about verbal abuse to keep you under their thumbs; this way, they can feel like a bigger and better person than you are.

With your demise and emotional “shrinkage,” they feed off what you are losing to try and bolster their own weak self-esteem.

The reality is that an abuser is not a confident and happy person. Not ever. The abuser is someone who is unhappy, weak and has poor self-esteem. Like a little parasite, this person tries to feed off others. Here are seven things a verbal abuser wants you to believe, even though you shouldn’t.

1. “It’s your fault.”

If I had a dollar for every time an abuser said, “It’s your fault,” I’d be a rich woman. Abusers want you to believe that any problem is your fault because then you’ll feel bad and do what he or she wants, feel bad about yourself, and grow reliant on the abuser. Plus, reliance on the abuser means the abuser has control.

2. “You made me do it.”

Did the abuser yell at you? Cheat on you? Hit you? Hurt you? The abuser will always try again and again to make you believe that you made this person do whatever it is that upset you. This way, you can feel bad about yourself and grow reliant on them, make the abuser feel better for his or her sh*tty choices, and allow them to gain power over you.

Read More: 7 False Things Every Verbal Abuser Wants You To Believe (But You Shouldn’t)

Don’t Believe the BS,

Laura

I Won’t Let a Man Abuse a Woman in Front of Me: Tales From The Bus

A few years back, there I was on the bus back into the city from my parent’s home in New Jersey. I was in my first year at Columbia, and diving head first into amazing classes on writing and psychology, as well as a few feminist courses. I was in my finest day: I love academics. Nothing makes me happier than a huge novel to read and write about.

Call me a loser, or just someone who doesn’t get enough action?

Or maybe you’re a lit-whore like myself. Welcome to the tribe jedi.

Anywhoo, there I was, just sitting in my seat, getting ready to study on the hour and a half ride when I heard him.

I heard a male voice berating the woman next to him. Continue reading