Hanging By a Rope

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

I’ve had a minor health issue for a while, which didn’t bother me terribly until recently. It got worse and was causing a lot of pain and discomfort.

I went to my doctor, who then referred me to a surgeon/specialist and then another specialist. Everyone had something different to say– and all of my “options” come with pluses and serious minuses. I also can just do nothing– or try something minor to see if I notice any difference, which I may or may not notice at all. Oh– and of course, comes with side effects of its own.

I left each appointment feeling more overwhelmed. Worse, when I met with the surgeon, I didn’t think to bring someone with me to ask questions while I sat dazed, overwhelmed and tired trying to follow everything he said. I ended up forgetting to ask a bunch of questions in the meantime, wishing I had afterwards.

Since no one could give me a clear direction on what to do and left it in my hands, I’ve been feeling like I am hanging .. by a thread or dangling by a rope, waiting for some kind of lifeline or answer to come. So far, I’ve just felt mostly paralyzed with indecision.

And then, when I came to a conclusion or a treatment plan or sorts, I then came up against the biggest roadblock: lack of support and help. Trying to coordinate what would happen for my kid and me if I had a procedure in the hospital has been as stressful as seeing the doctors. And feeling that lack of support, I just decided it was better to do nothing.

Until I decided to do further testing … with the hopes that further testing will give me a clearer picture of what I need to do, lifting this sort of indecisive grip that’s come over me. I am just as worried that doing nothing will end up with me feeling worse or regretting that I did nothing.

It’s amazing though what a lack of support can do to a person. It has really caused me to retreat and feel defeated before I’ve even begun. It truly takes someone who actually gives a sh*t to support someone through medical stuff, and I guess I haven’t met someone who actually does give a sh*t yet, sadly. I do know that it could be worse. And for the most part, I am living a healthy life and am active. I try to remind myself of that every day. But the indecision and lack of support, sucks.

Hanging On,

Laura

8 Ways Type A and Type B Personalities Express Anxiety Differently

It doesn’t matter whether you’re a Type A, overachieving organizer or a Type B, laid back slacker — many people have to learn how to deal with anxiety. Even people you see as outgoing and “King or Queen of the World,” or those who are so laid back they couldn’t possibly stress a thing, can struggle when it comes to dealing with anxiety.

Sometimes, it’s easier to tell who’s anxious from who’s not, but an individual’s personality type can play into how anxiety presents itself to the outside world. Here are 8 unique ways in which a Type A personality and a Type B personality express anxiety differently.

Read More: 8 Ways Type A and Type B Personalities Express Anxiety Differently

Breathe Deep,

Laura

Your Anxiety Is Lying to You — Here Are Helpful Ways to Overcome It

Anxiety is a nasty devil. Anxiety will have you believing things that in no way are true and will unravel you to your last wit’s ends. Anxiety will ruin your belief in yourself and in others. Hands down, anxiety is an evil joker that will fool you and your sane brain and heart into believing myths that are just not true. Knowing that anxiety can trick you into believing falsehoods is powerful. Why? Because it then allows you to tell yourself that you cannot believe the “junk” that anxiety feeds you. And when you recognize that your anxiety is just “talking smack again,” you’ll begin to take back your life and loosen anxiety’s grip on your mind, heart, and life. Here are five things your anxiety is fooling you into believing.

1. People Don’t Like You

Your anxiety will have you believing people are talking about you, thinking poorly about you, or in general don’t like you. This is not the same as paranoia. Anxiety is different. Your anxiety will misinterpret things people say or do and have you thinking that, perhaps, a person doesn’t like you or is disappointed in you. Sure, sometimes someone might not like you . . . or your anxiety could have you misinterpreting social cues or panicking for no reason.

When this happens, breathe deeply and ask yourself these questions:

Read More: Your Anxiety Is Lying to You — Here Are Helpful Ways to Overcome It

Don’t Believe The BS,

Laura

How Anxiety Is Actually Like a Real Prison

You may be the boss of you as an adult, but when you have anxiety, it can feel as if you are never in charge. There may seem to always be something hovering over you and stealing the wheel from your hands when you least expect it. In so many ways, anxiety can operate like a prison. It’s a sentence that you didn’t ask to serve or do anything to bring it on — most likely anxiety was handed to you by genetics or a traumatic situation — but it’s one that many people deal with, whether as a short-term sentence or a life-behind-bars type of scenario. It took separating from a former partner for me to understand how it had affected me.

And it wasn’t just my anxiety that reared now and again (an occasional sentence? community service?) that hurt my progress emotionally, but it was being romantically involved with someone who held it against me, hovering over my head, trying to make me feel bad about myself. Using it as a weapon for control.

It made the anxiety worse, not better, and in that case, there were two prison guards and one operated more covertly than the other (the former partner, not the anxiety). As I walked away from the situation, I started to see the writing on the wall.

I realized I was worth something and that while I can be anxious, anxiety does not rule and will NOT rule me.

Read More: How Anxiety Is Actually Like a Real Prison

Set Yourself Free,

Laura

7 Things I Don’t Want You to Say When I’m Feeling Anxious

People mean well and want to help, but when someone is experiencing anxiety or feeling nervous, the last thing we need is more useless cliches that don’t help us one bit. It’s hard to understand anxiety unless you have experienced it. Most people have felt anxious in their lifetimes, but if you’ve ever experienced the glory of a panic attack or been so anxious you felt sick, you know why I see red when people say, “Just relax.”

Newsflash, Einstein: if we could just relax, we would.

This of course doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to manage your anxiety. When I am feeling anxious, exercise, deep breathing, stretching, and time with friends help me feel better. Sometimes it also means shutting down my cell phone and not bothering with anyone, minus my daughter.

But when someone tries to give you unhelpful advice about anxiety for the 50th time, it’s enough to make you want to check out of dodge for the weekend.

1. “Just Relax”

Look, do you have a magic wand to erase this feeling of dread? If you did, you would use it and if Idid, so would I. Telling me to “just relax” is not helpful.

Read More: 7 Things I Don’t Want You to Say When I’m Feeling Anxious

SSH,

Laura

7 Signs You’re WAY Too Freakin’ Hard On Yourself

Be nice to yourself. You’re doing better than you think you are.

We are our own worst critics, but some of us have a literal scoreboard in our head that’s constantly giving us the “thumbs down.” It’s like living with a movie review team in your head. Except, unlike the famed Siskel and Ebert, the critic in your mind doesn’t have a day off or a moment of rest.

On one hand, being hard on yourself has pluses: people who don’t really care about what they say and do aren’t typically out making the world a better place. Someone who’s hard on themselves is someone who cares about their time on this planet, and that’s a good thing! Where it becomes problematic is the intense self-criticism that sucks the joy out of life and the intense “second-guessing.”

Are you too hard on yourself? Here are a few signs you need to ease up the pressure.

  1. Your accomplishments are never enough.

You got published somewhere huge. You landed the big raise. Your master’s thesis was accepted. It’s all just bliss and kittens to everyone … except you. You should have done X. You should have gotten 5K more in that raise. Did they really approve your thesis idea? Sure, but I bet they didn’t love it.

Read More: 7 Signs You’re WAY Too Freakin’ Hard On Yourself

Be Good to Yourself,

Laura

15 Quotes That PERFECTLY Sum Up What Having Anxiety Is Like

Anxiety will never enrich your life or allow you to bloom.

At every turn, anxiety is your enemy and not your friend. Anxiety doesn’t discriminate; no matter your race, gender, sexual orientation or class, anxiety kills our spirits and hearts, and worse — our health.

Make 2016 the year you say “Buh-bye!” to anxiety. You deserve it. How many more moments do you want to waste, thanks to that b*tch anxiety?

  1. Anxiety is your enemy.

Anxiety will not help you succeed, nor does anxiety nurture your spirit or care about how badly you slept or ate that day. Anxiety is a soul-sucking parasite.

Read More: 15 Quotes That PERFECTLY Sum Up What Having Anxiety Is Like

Knows Her Enemy,

Laura

7 Signs The Person You Love Is A Highly Sensitive Over-Thinker

Have you fallen in love with someone who seems to question and ponder everything a billion times, backwards and forwards? Does your current flame seem engrossed in thought more often than not?

You may be in love with an over-thinker. Before trying to figure out this complex creature, let me guide you in the ways of the over-thinking mind.

1. They have multiple back-up plans.

Your over-thinker has an analytical mind, for better or for worse. Expect your over-thinking lover to make a plan A, B, C, ad nauseam for every situation. This can be extremely beneficial when planning a large event or trying to attack a problem, but it can be extremely detrimental if the over-thinker is creating potential plans over a supposed “pending crisis” that may not even exist.

If your love is doing the latter, explain that perhaps he or she is letting that mind go amuck, and to take a deep breathe and think about the situation later. This is when you should try to distract your favorite over-thinker with an enjoyable pleasure. Perhaps a massage or sex? If your partner is really bogged down in thinking, offering the massage is a smart move … unless you want her to be angry with you.

Read More: 7 Signs The Person You Love Is A Highly Sensitive Over-Thinker

I Might Have To Think About This,

Laura

10 Ways To Waste Your Life Worrying Instead Of LIVING

It’s very important if you’re a worrier to make sure you’re worrying about anything and everything that can happen.

In fact, I’m pretty sure you don’t need to double check 1,000 times if you’ve worried enough today, because if you’re an anxious person, worrying comes naturally to you — and you do it with flair!

Why “keep calm” when instead, you can waste seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and then some worrying and preparing for the worst-case scenario? Doesn’t the latter sound so thrilling?

1. You put off fun activities.

Instead of going to that party, taking that interesting job interview, or meeting up with that guy your friend told you about, you decided to worry yourself until you were convinced that somehow everything would be god awful. After one hour of obsessively worrying, you determined that this most certainly would be a disaster, and it’d be better for you to just stay home.

Read More: 10 Ways To Waste Your Life Worrying Instead Of LIVING

Living it Up,

Laura

12 Things Only Over-Thinkers Will Understand

There you are about to do something when … wait. Should you really do that, or perhaps something else?

Is this you: standing in the middle of the supermarket trying to debate over something as frivolous as a box of rice? If you answered yes, congratulations! You are an over-thinker.

1. We constantly hear, “Just choose already!”

If you’re an over-thinker, you’ve heard that phrase a zillion times. People act like it’s oh-so-easy to just make a choice. And sure, sometimes it’s easy; for instance, would you prefer Brad Pitt or your husband?

Easy choice, but when you’re an over-thinker, you know that making a choice is torture, plain and simple.

Read More: 12 Things Only Over-Thinkers Will Understand

Questioning If I Should Have Wrote This,

Laura