4 Pitfalls Working Moms Face

Whether you’re working or not, motherhood is a challenge, but a joyful one of course! There are, however, a few pitfalls that we working moms face that can not only drain our mental resources but also take away from our general well-being and allover “feel-goodness.” Let’s address these pitfalls and figure out some ways to combat them.

Read more: 4 Pitfalls Working Moms Face

Workin’ For A Livin’,

Laura

Goldilocks is hungry and wants to break your chair: Coming out of the closet

This isn’t a claim of my lesbianism, although I love the lesbians of course and people of all sexual persuasions, but this is my admission: I am depressed.

Goldilocks is tired of ransacking people’s (bears) homes by herself and causing general chaos, only to have to run in another direction once a Grizzly comes to eat her. Continue reading

Your Kid Doesn’t Have to Love You: Mother Guilt

Image-Love

Just because you gave birth to a kid, it doesn’t mean that child owes you his or her lifelong pledge to love you.

Sure, your child probably loves you unconditionally, but like all relationships,what you put into your child, will be what he or she will give back to you.

I am a good mother. I mean, I am as good of a mother as I can be. I mess up, and I’m not a DIY-pinterest mom who handmakes her kids organic band-aids and churns her child’s butter with the milk from a grain-fed cow, but I do my best and measure in highly on all the choices I make for her.

That said, lately I wonder if my kid loves me. Continue reading

To The Working Mommy: You’re Doing a Good Job

To The Working Mommy: You’re Doing a Good Job

Hi Working Mom. You probably left for work late today. You probably forget to do something at home, and you’re probably going to have to leave work early today because of your kid.

You never feel like you can fully commit to either: your kid or your job, because you’re torn between two places.

Being a working mom means dividing yourself in half, and hoping you can multitask enough to make sure both of the plants are watered properly, so to speak. Continue reading

The Bad Mother? Having empathy for other mothers

We’ve all done it before.

Maybe we shook our finger silently while watching a mom with her children.

We’d never do what she did.

Maybe it was something we overheard. Something we saw.

Sometimes indeed, a mother just truly blows chunks and should have her license revoked—like the one mom I saw smoking and drinking at the park…blowing her cancer-causing agents near my toddler and living it up with her solo cup. But for the most part, as much as I think a lot of people are plain stupid, I feel women do try hard to be good mothers.

There was this one mother who attended a class that I went to with my daughter. She always complained about her kids–she has 4. She would say how annoying they were.

She really grated on my nerves, especially when she discouraged another mom from taking her daughter somewhere because it would be “too much work” essentially.

It didn’t help matters that I had a rough pregnancy and could only wish to survive having 3 additional kids, (truthfully I am not mentally cut out for 4 anyway, but it still made me mad) and that her husband refused to sing songs or do anything that wasn’t “macho” with his 2 year-old because apparently, he was too good to do that and gasp–maybe his son would end up gay from singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.”

Dipshit!

But as I have ventured into the world as a full-time worker, in addition to freelance work, my book, and comedy, I have found myself more empathetic for other moms.

Maybe that woman was just plain old tired. Maybe her husband never helped her.

Maybe her kids were really that annoying.

Maybe she just didn’t have anywhere to vent.

Today, I took my daughter to the park. She didn’t sleep much the night before, and she was tantruming all morning long. She was just so tired, but she refused to sleep. With me back in work, she’s gone from having one steady caregiver, to pulling 6am-7pm days between her house, school, and her grandparents’ homes. Her schedule has pulled a doozy on her, and it has affected her sleep at times. After trying to get her to sleep unsuccessfully, I brought her to the park.

As she drew with chalk, a little girl about a year younger than her approached her. I offered her some chalk, which simply allowed my daughter to unleash the Satan festering inside of her.

I think I saw Dante’s Inferno today.

She was defiant. Didn’t want to share. Almost hit the kid.

Simply put, she was a brat.

My kid is a great kid. I don’t just say that because she is my progeny, but because she is. She’s an angel at school, and has learned as an only child, how to share recently, thanks to school.

I apologized profusely to the mom. My daughter even hugged her and apologized, but I couldn’t help but feel like shit.

I couldn’t help but feel like a bad mom because Napoleon was throwing a shit-fit over having to share a piece of chalk. Why couldn’t I get my kid together? I knew she was tired, and I knew she had a reason to be upset at times with this child–she tried to draw on my kid’s drawing, and my daughter is very into art and her work already. Still though, I felt bad like here I was with my bratty kid…not being great representatives of our family.

I could almost feel the mom thinking, “Oh sure your kid is tired today. Oh sure, she’s great at school. Yup. I’m sure she’s nice…yeah right lady. I’m sure your work schedule really affects  her. Sure.”

You never know what kind of day a child has had. A mom.

You don’t know if she’s stressed. Alone. Ill-supported. Broke. Hungry. Tired.

Facing a divorce. Facing a job-loss.

Loss of a parent.

Health issue.

Foreclosure of her home.

You don’t really know what someone else’s life is like, until you are living it. And while some moms truly suck and should revoke their ovaries, many moms are doing their best.

For some moms, just getting the kids fed and clean is their best.

For others, a five-course meal is their best.

Try to approach another mom with the same-set of empathetic eyes you would like others to have when your kids are melting down, acting like terrors, or simply having a bad day.

Women really like to pick each other apart, simply because we are insecure people fighting for a smaller piece of the pie than men. We earn less, and often mean less, and therefore, we tend to scrutinize and fight for what we feel is ours.

It doesn’t help that we have created motherhood as some iconic status in which we are supposed to be the pinnacle of domesticity, femininity, as well as earn a solid paycheck. We ask ourselves to be everything, and therefore as we fight for this impossible status, we tear down others in the process.

Simply put, we need to be kinder to each other. It’s a lesson we try to teach our kids, and it’s one we need to go back to as adults.

Be kind to another mom today, and save your eye rolls for someone else.

Mom at Work: The Disappearing Mother

Today is my birthday.

Do you know what my best present was?

I didn’t get many, but my best present was seeing my daughter.

My best present was putting her to bed. Bathing her.

Eating some cake with her.

See, I’m a working mom now with a long commute. So I feel as if I am slowly disappearing from her life.

I’ve never dropped her off at school. I’ve never picked her up.

I’ve met her teachers all but one, (there are 3) once.

She tells me stories of kids whose faces I don’t know.

She has a day that I know little about.

I know this is bound to be for every parent, but it is hard being Mom at work.

Being Mom far away at work.

Does my 2 year-old think I love her less?

Does she remember when we were home together?

Does she think of me when she is hurt at school or tired?

Do I register on her mind?

Am I doing the right thing?

Mom at work has to be everything: good employee, great mom, multitasker, and police.

Making sure everyone else who is taking care of her is doing his or her job since you can’t be there to do it yourself.

Hopefully one day my daughter will say, “My mom is a successful woman. And heck, she is a good mom too.”

Just wish it were easier.

For now, I will look forward to bathtime and bedtime, the weekends, and the five minutes I see her before I go off to work. Maybe it’s not the quantity, but truly the quality we spend with our kids that matters. I try to remind myself of that.

Be good to yourselves Mommies at Work.