9 Huge Differences Between Men Who Commit To One Woman And The Ones Who Never Will

Although you can get a guy who is a serial bachelor to commit, and then have the nice guy who suddenly goes “rogue,” there are key differences between men who can commit and men who won’t.

Usually, it’s a dead ringer and easy to tell which group a particular guy ends up belonging to, but for clarity’s sake (and to avoid heartache), let’s dish on the real differences.

1. Is he secure in himself?

Men who can commit: He’s secure in himself. He feels positive about who he is and knows that he has a lot to offer. He isn’t cocky or needy — he’s simply comfortable in his own skin.

Men who won’t commit: He’s cocky and feels entitled. Or he’s insecure, bitter and jaded. He isn’t rooted in the world as an individual and he can’t be committed to you. Picture him as a little leaf floating in the wind with no direction.

Read More: 9 Huge Differences Between Men Who Commit To One Woman And The Ones Who Never Will

Committed…or Not?

Laura

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7 False Things Every Verbal Abuser Wants You To Believe (But You Shouldn’t)

Verbal abusers have a sophisticated way of having you believe their hogwash. They use a lot emotional smokescreens, verbiage, and myths about verbal abuse to keep you under their thumbs; this way, they can feel like a bigger and better person than you are.

With your demise and emotional “shrinkage,” they feed off what you are losing to try and bolster their own weak self-esteem.

The reality is that an abuser is not a confident and happy person. Not ever. The abuser is someone who is unhappy, weak and has poor self-esteem. Like a little parasite, this person tries to feed off others. Here are seven things a verbal abuser wants you to believe, even though you shouldn’t.

1. “It’s your fault.”

If I had a dollar for every time an abuser said, “It’s your fault,” I’d be a rich woman. Abusers want you to believe that any problem is your fault because then you’ll feel bad and do what he or she wants, feel bad about yourself, and grow reliant on the abuser. Plus, reliance on the abuser means the abuser has control.

2. “You made me do it.”

Did the abuser yell at you? Cheat on you? Hit you? Hurt you? The abuser will always try again and again to make you believe that you made this person do whatever it is that upset you. This way, you can feel bad about yourself and grow reliant on them, make the abuser feel better for his or her sh*tty choices, and allow them to gain power over you.

Read More: 7 False Things Every Verbal Abuser Wants You To Believe (But You Shouldn’t)

Don’t Believe the BS,

Laura

7 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Kickass Single Mom

If you are dating a kick-ass single mom, congratulations! If you are attempting to date a kick-ass single mom…well, sit back, because I’ve got some things you need to hear.

 

As a single mom who is pretty badass and also dating, I’d like to share one thing you need to know before messaging me or any other single mom online or in real life:

 

We’re not desperate.

 

I know, I know. You went on Craig’s List. You watched an XXX video. You “heard” single moms are desperate horn balls just dying (insert my eye roll right here folks) for some male attention.

 

Apparently, the word on the street is single moms are just dying for some “big hulking man” to come and make her life better. Well, that my friends is the first thing on this list that you need to know in order to date a kick-ass single mom:

 

1. NO, DARLING, I’M NOT DESPERATE FOR YOU TO SLEEP WITH ME

Sure, every human on this earth loves sex and loves company. Well, besides intentionally celibate people I suppose.

 

But kick-ass single moms are not dying for sex. And hey, there are tools for that sort of issue if it becomes hairy, and truthfully, there are many of us single moms out in the world. Many of us dating.

 

We are not desperate to get in the sack with you. We can be just as choosy as you are, man with the annoyingly pretentious abdominal photos and braggery of his fifty vacation spots. Stop buying into the myth and find someone who is foolish enough to stroke your ego, thanks.

Read More:  7 Things You Need To Know When Dating A Kickass Single Mom 

My Summer of Zero Dates

I decided at some point that this was going to be my summer of zero dates.

Well, mostly.

I was online and on apps a lot. I had more first dates in a two month period than I had in my entire life, and I was always a pretty active dater. Nothing disastrous had happened. Nothing traumatic. I just felt as if the dating had become a chore.

For most people, casual conversation with a “mostly” stranger like the dates you have online are difficult. For me, I could talk to anyone…really. The janitor. The CEO. The three-year old child. The eighty-year old guy with Dementia on the subway. Conversing with dates was a breeze.

I met interesting people…and not so interesting people. Some were a little crazy while others were perfectly fine.

None gave me a tingle or spark. None made me say, let’s take this to the next level.

And hey, when you are divorced and dating, we all know how tough that can be.

Juggling your schedules around the kids…if you’ve both got them or you or your date is a parent.

Trusting someone after perhaps some intense trust fails from an ex.

Revealing parts of yourself and being vulnerable after watching a marriage fail.

Dating after divorce is an intricate dance, and one that I had committed to carrying out, from the beginning intro the final curtsy, but before summer had even dropped its hot humid temperatures on the East Coast, I was just done.

Not bitter. Not jaded.

Just bored.

Read More: My Summer of Zero Dates

A Little Break,

Laura

10 Ways You’re Making Him PANIC (And Back Away From Your Relationship)

Sometimes, it’s his own character or situation that provokes panic from your actions; in other cases, you do stuff to bring on panic that never existed.

There are many situations that can scare guys away and you have to decide if you’re causing him anxiety or if he’s dealing with issues that cause him to panic over everything. Here are 9 ways you’re scaring him away.

1. You mention marriage any moment you can.

Sure, things are going well for you and your guy, but you are pushing him to the edge with your marriage talk. He just got comfortable with the idea of you two being a solid, committed pair, and now, no matter what you two are doing, marriage is part of every conversation.

Emails with wedding ring images. Pinterest boards on weddings you just “happen” to send him links to. Pointing out couples that are engaged. You don’t even have regular conversations anymore. You’re making him panic hardcore.

2. You never let him reach out to you. 

You are the one to initiate every move and you’re not giving him the chance to let him chase you or make plans. Even if you’re not needy, it scares guys away and makes him think you’re going to suffocate him. It’s easy to be enthusiastic about someone you like. Just back off and let him do some of the driving. Men like to pursue.

Read More: 10 Ways You’re Making Him PANIC (And Back Away From Your Relationship)

Is He Afraid?

Laura

If Your Man is Like a Cat-Back Exhaust System, You’re In Luck

I never thought I would know anything about cars or men.

Actually, it’s debatable how much I know about the XX species—and I’m still learning about cars.

For a new job of mine, I’ve had to learn a lot about cars, trucks, performance driving, off-roading and then some. If you know me, you already know that all that stuff is Greek to me. But I’m a good student and hate to look stupid, so I’ve been doing my research. When it comes to men, I’ve made stupid mistakes sometimes, and I’m learning too—a work in progress trying to understand the sexy, mysterious and sometimes incredibly weird species, called males. Let’s just say…I have been researching men since age 3 and so far, I’ve yet to find that one guy that can capture me and throw me into his man cave for eternity.

But the other day, I had to write about Cat Back Exhaust Systems, and it made me think of men.

First of all, I knew zilch about exhaust systems, much less what a “cat” had to do with any of it.

But as I read on about mufflers, resonators, and horsepower, I realized that a man’s love or lack thereof, can be compared easily to a Cat Back.

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An Offer I Can’t Refuse: Dating & Hunting

The other day a friend of mine said, “All of a sudden the guys are coming out of the woodwork!” She had had a few good dates…and it seemed all the ex’s were popping up out of nowhere, randomly…and at once.

It’s always the case—for women at least…is it the same for men? I’m not sure. Guys—you’ll have to tell me.

Why is it that men seem to all come rushing for you at once, when just a month or even days ago, nobody had “boo” to say to you?

It’s the hunt.

Men smell when you don’t want them, need them or have forgotten them.

And then suddenly when they realize someone else is hunting you and you’re no longer an option to bring back to their cave,  men come around to mark their territory. Or at least try to. This isn’t to say guys pee on you—but you get the gist of it.

So for example, at the beginning of the year, I had quite a few dates. Two people I saw a few times…but nothing that rocked my world. Then suddenly—

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10 Things You (Unknowingly) Do That Make Men Think You’re A HOT MESS

You may wonder why you keep getting ghosted after a few dates. Maybe it’s not that you can’t start a relationship, but that you find that you can’t sustain a relationship. To you, it must be that the “guys” are the ones with the problems, and of course, it takes two to tango.

But it may be that you’re really a mess and don’t even realize it.

You may be doing things that signal to your potential partners and partners that you’re a hot mess. You may not even be “so messy” but may instead have learned bad relationship and life habits. Or, perhaps, you are truly a trainwreck in heels.

Whatever the case may be, you’re signaling to guys that you are a bloody hot mess. Here are 10 signs you’re a hot mess that makes guys run for the hills.

Read More: 10 Things You (Unknowingly) Do That Make Men Think You’re A HOT MESS

Messy, Messy, Messy,

Laura

Nervous About Meeting His Family Over the Holidays? Read This First

Meeting your partner’s family for the first time can be stressful, but then top it off with meeting them at the holidays, no less, and you’ve got a recipe for nerves. Before you decide to run away, break up, or pretend to be sick, put these tips in your back pocket, put on your best outfit and shoes, and you’ve got this!

1. Pick Your Most Comfortable and Polished Outfit

Now is not the time to choose those pants that you can’t quite zip up or put on that racy blouse, even if your honey loves it. Choose an outfit in which you feel comfortable and look good — even if you think it’s a little dull.

Also watch your shirtsleeves — when you’re nervous, you tend to sweat more than you typically do. Having a comfortable outfit will make you at least feel at ease.

Read More: Nervous About Meeting His Family Over the Holidays? Read This First

You’ll Do Just Fine,

Laura

9 Little Gestures That Mean, YES GIRL, He’s Into You

You met someone and you’re in the new stage in which you’re really not sure where you stand with him or where things are heading. So what happens next? It’s the game of love — or heartbreak.

You two do that dating tango: the dance in which you decide if you’re really in sync with each other or not. But before you decide to get on your metaphorical dancing shoes, pay attention to all of the little things.

It’s not the BIG huge gestures of affection and sweeping statements that really indicate a man is ready to say ‘I love you’. Talk is cheap. Anyone can say they love you (or is into you), but the reality is, it’s the little gestures a man does every day, on occasion, or on a whim that shows just how in love with you he is… or isn’t.

Here are the 9 little gestures that say ‘I love you’ without saying a word:

 

1. He fixes up the house.

If your new dude-to-potentially-be is offering to be Mr. Fixer Upper, chances are high that he’s “fixing” to score you as well. He wants to help take some of the DIY burden off your shoulders and give the place in which you dwell a lot of love. Why? Because he probably loves you, too, at least a little.

Read More: 9 Little Gestures That Mean, YES GIRL, He’s Into You

OH– He Wants You!

Laura