What It’s Like to Have Too Much to Offer As A Divorced Woman

I used to think that I wasn’t good enough. Mainly because of late tween and teenage experiences that bled into more colorful but not so great experiences in my early-twenties. And then furthermore, being married to someone who loved me based on conditions and not on who I was. Someone that could give up and someone that didn’t seem to see the best in me, even though I was trying my best. Perhaps he was too.

Now I know I am good enough. I have much to offer. A stable career. A blooming career. The ambition of a billion men and (wo)men. The spirit and energy of a teenager. The friendliness of a Labrador Retriever. A healthy child. Great friends. Two parents who tolerate me. Wink.

I’m fit and healthy. I have a good work-life balance although yes, I am rather busy. I make friends with strangers. I am open and not bitter. I am not the least bit grieving my divorce.

Yet somehow I end up feeling as if I have “too much” to offer someone that often dates, back off or never happen.

Guys worry: Are you judging my grammar? ( I am a writer after all.)

You write about sex? Wow. Intimidating.

Read More: What It’s Like to Have Too Much to Offer As A Divorced Woman

Strong & Tall (Well, In Spirit),

Laura

Single on Valentine’s Day? Who Cares!

Hi, my name is Laura and I am single on Valentine’s Day.
When I enter any store or public location, I am harassed and dazzled with hearts of pink and red and chocolate boxes and cards for people of all ages.
When I go to the store, my daughter points out all the Valentine’s Day candy she sees because apparently to four year-old’s, every holiday is a celebration of chocolate and gifts…upon them.
Truly, it is though.
I am Laura, and I am almost divorced, separated for almost two whole years and am completely and utterly single.
When I go to websites and social media outlets, retargeting ads hit me saying “Buy this sexy lingerie” or “Indulge in the taste of sweet chocolates.”
I am Laura, and I have gone on a bunch of dates and had not one real boyfriend (minus one guy who got really close) in the time I have been separated.

Read More: Single on Valentine’s Day? Who Cares!

As One & Happy,

Laura

9 Brutal Truths About Dating In Your Late Thirties

There you are, ready for love in your late thirties, yet you’re either entering the dating world after a big breakup/divorce or you’re the last of your friends to be married off. It can be discouraging, and everyone tells you, “Oh, you’re still so young. You’ll find love!” But it seems like you’d have a better shot at winning the lottery than finding the right match.

Don’t give up, though. Giving up is for quitters and you aren’t a quitter. Love is out there for everyone at any age, whether you’re fifteen or eighty-five. But here are some harsh realities of dating in your late thirties that you need to know, if you don’t already.

  1. You feel like a time bomb if you don’t have kids already.

If you want kids and still have none, you feel like your ovaries are ready to explode. They’re not, but each date seems heavier than the last. Is this the one? you find yourself thinking. It’s hard to not feel the pull of biology and hormones.

Read More: 9 Brutal Truths About Dating In Your Late Thirties

Can You Handle the Truth,

Laura

Why Single Moms Should Date Single Dads

I am a lazy dater. By lazy, I mean I don’t put in the real effort required to make online dating work. As a single mom, I should cut myself some slack. I have a lot of other things on my plate and to be completely honest, I love how my life is going as of now. I love my friends, kid, work, and social life — OK, so some weekend nights, I’m stumped on whom to go out with if I am kid-free — so why complicate it with a man? Enough said.

But of course, the idea of romance and love still appeals to me. The idea of intense online dating? It does NOT appeal to me. The reality is if you want to succeed with online dating, you’ve got to go out with a plethora of frogs to meet any potential partner, and right now, I have taken a slight back seat to swiping left and right and mindlessly texting guys who I will probably never meet. When I get a match whom I am not crazy over, I decide to not meet him and, instead, go see friends.

Read More: Why Single Moms Should Date Single Dads

Give a Dad a Chance,

Laura

9 Harsh Truths About Dating in Your Late 30s

Dating in your late 30s (especially if you are dating after divorce with kids like me) is sort of like sifting through a garbage can, hoping to find a huge diamond and a pair of Manolo Blahniks. I don’t mean to say that every available man is worthless when you’re in your late 30s but rather that the game is hard, and guess what, ladies: it’s still a game, even at our age. Here are some truths you need to know if you’re about to head out into the dating pond in your late 30s.

1. They Want Them Young

A lot of men want their ladies young. These are the bachelors that hit late-30s and into mid-40s and suddenly realized, “Oh snap! My sperm is getting old, too, wouldn’t you know? And now that I am all grown up, I think it’s time I settled down. I think I will pick a nice 25-year-old.” Even though you’re their age or even quite younger than them by years, you’re still old to them. It’s BS. The right one won’t care that you’re not in your 20s, absolutely, and you’re not old, but yet there are guys who will completely shut you down, especially online, if you’re a year over his age range. It is what it is.

Read More: 9 Harsh Truths About Dating in Your Late 30s

It is What it is,

Laura

Married Folks: STOP Telling Me I’ll Find ‘The One’ If I Stop Looking

Whenever I comment on how difficult dating after divorce is, married person after married person says to me, “You’ll find the right one when you’re not looking.”

Here’s a reality check for those folks: as a single parent who works round the clock, works with women, is friends with a bunch of married people, lives in suburbia with a child, and is close to forty, if I stop getting out there and dating, I won’t meet anyone … EVER.

There aren’t a plethora of dudes in their thirties and forties just hanging out in Target near the grocery items waiting to get to know me. There aren’t a zillion men hanging around my cubicle dying to catch my first name. There aren’t a bunch of friends’ friends and neighbors’ cousins to go around for a woman in her late thirties with a kid who’s looking for a dude who isn’t a total wreck.

Read More: Married Folks: STOP Telling Me I’ll Find ‘The One’ If I Stop Looking

You Don’t Get it,

Laura

6 Online Dating No-Nos For Single Moms

You’re online looking for love or dates, whether it’s through an app or a site or both, and you’re finally getting out there. Good for you, Single Mom! But wait . . . before you get too eager, watch out for some of these absolute no-nos when online dating after divorce, whether it’s a mistake on your profile or the wrong attitude predate. Putting your best foot forward and approaching online dating with the right attitude makes finding that second love easier and better!

Put the Past Away

While I myself am online looking for a great man for me, I have checked out both men’s and women’s profiles simply for research I have done for articles on online dating — like this one. One of the biggest no-nos I see time and again is reference to the past.

Read more: 6 Online Dating No-Nos For Single Moms

Don’t Do it Ladies!

Laura

3 Ways to Introduce Your New Partner to Your Kids

You’re a single mom who just met someone special and are certain it’s the right time to introduce him to your kids. Pretty exciting but also a little nerve-racking. How will your kids respond to this new person in their single mom’s life? Well, that I am not certain of, but there are many great ways to introduce your new best mate to your kids that will help make the transition for your kids and your new partner easier.

Park Play Date Instead of Ice Cream

The whole “let’s get ice cream and meet mom’s new boyfriend” scenario is staid. It’s awkward to be forced to sit and eat with someone you barely know, and older kids know that the ice cream part of the equation is a bit like bribery.

Read More: 3 Ways to Introduce Your New Partner to Your Kids

Do it the Right Way!

Laura

How to Date Yourself After Divorce

It would be nice if I met someone to have fun with and enjoy life with. A sexy companion as it were.

That’s where I am at in the whole “dating after divorce” world.

Joy. Fun. Sex. Traveling. Passion. Competition–not against each other, but with each other. Conversation. Commitment– but at an adult level. Two people complementing each other, not completing each other.

I’m not looking for a dad for my daughter. She’s got one thanks. And as far as getting married again? Maybe. I’m not against it.

But what I am against is dating someone in an effort to complete myself. That’s not needed. I’m good as is, on my own.

However, there are a lot of people separating and divorcing who just fly into the next relationship only for it to flop horrifically. I’ve seen it happen time and again, and watched as people said, “Why did this happen?”

My response?

You didn’t date yourself first.

Read More: How to Date Yourself After Divorce

I’m Dating Someone Sexy: Me,

Laura