When You Can’t Go Further in a Relationship Due to the Other Person

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Every relationship– friendship or romantic– has a path. Some are meant to go the distance and others, not so much. Some relationships– romantic ones– never even take off. And that I think, is the worst.

To fail at a relationship or marriage is really sad and challenging. Devastating. But to me, a relationship that never takes off is even worse.

There is the feeling that with a failed marriage or relationship, at least you got to try and give it your all. You can look back and say, “Sure, I made mistakes, but I still gave it my all most of the time.”

When you are with someone and feel the potential but it never comes to fruition, there is never that feeling of “I tried and failed– but hey! I tried!”

Instead, there is the feeling of “What if?” and “Why?”

“What happened?” and “What went wrong?”

Socially Distant Dates: Are You Going on Them or Avoiding Altogether?

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It’s a very weird time to be single and I’ve spoken to quite a few people who all have a different take on single life during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some people, have said they have taken a break from online dating altogether. The idea of managing online dating while dealing with their various circumstances during the pandemic is too much. Others don’t feel comfortable at all meeting even 6 feet apart and others still, find the video calling and potentially long waits of meeting in person not worth delving into online at this time.

Others have taken the circumstances to work to their advantage: I know quite a few people are meeting in parks or speaking to each other from porches or stoops.  Other people still, are video calling or chatting via phone before meeting either in person at a park or, when restrictions are lifted. Some relationships are even taking off: from a socially distant park meet up, to deciding to socially distance together, including the new person in their social circle of who they will interact with during this public health crisis. I have to say that having a buddy and partner must make this  whole isolation easier and I commend people for making it happen during such a bleak time.

There is a lot to consider before making a call like this:

  • How safe do you feel meeting someone in a park? Meeting during the day is the best bet in an active park. Make sure someone knows where you are, who you are meeting and what time you’ll be back.
  • How much protection will you use? Meaning, will you wear a mask or just keep your distance or both?
  • How willing are you to even meet someone at this time? Not willing? Very willing?
  • How ready are you to incorporate a new person into your life?

I would love to hear people’s stories, opinions and experiences in the comments!

You could help someone make that call– many people are on the fence about what to do during this time.

Lots of Love,

Laura

Is He/She Stringing You Along? Are You His/ Her Option?

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Your relationship– or developing relationship– is a priority to you … but it doesn’t always feel like it is to her. You sometimes feel as if you’re an option or second best to this person’s other life outside of you … but maybe you’re just sensitive.

Been there, done that– and here are a few signs someone is stringing you along and thinking of you as an option:

Makes Plans Last Minute

Does he always ask you out last minute?

Does she suddenly have availability?

Stringing you along…

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Someone Who Really Cares Wants The Commitment & Wants You

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https://unsplash.com/@erik_lucatero

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my life it’s that people who care about you want you and want the commitment. They want the time with you. They want to work to make the relationship happen. They want you and will do their best to make you happy. They want the relationship to succeed and that means, making sacrifices and working to be the best individual and partner they can be.

Someone who doesn’t commit, doesn’t care.
Someone who is selfish or distant, doesn’t care.
Someone who isn’t consistent and isn’t available, doesn’t care.
He or she may like you as a friend. He or she may like you for just sex. He or she may think you’re a good person.
BUT— if he or she doesn’t commit, that person doesn’t want you and doesn’t care.

Commitment shows someone values you. Make no mistake about it.

Tale As Old As Time,

Laura

5 Signs Someone Sees You as Replaceable & Disposable

kelly-sikkema-E8H76nY1v6Q-unsplashPhoto by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Ever felt as if you put  out all your effort, affection and love for someone, only for them to be hot and cold– changing moods and personalities?

You wonder what causes the person to change so rapidly. You start to wonder if you’re doing something wrong.

Ever felt as if you aren’t good enough for your partner? WORSE, that the person tells you you’re not good enough or the relationship isn’t good enough? That  the person seems impossible to please or keep happy? Nothing you do is good enough?

You wonder how this person can complain or find fault or find flaws in you and your relationship, when there you are doing everything possible to be patient, understanding and loving with them and your very best?

Ever felt as if someone could do with you … or without you, depending on the mood?

You wonder how you could remotely predict what this person thinks or feels. You wonder WHAT could possibly be good enough for such a person! What could you do to be remotely good enough, when you’re already trying really hard to be “good enough.”

There you are, doing everything for the person– being your 100% loving and warm self, while that person treats you as disposable or replaceable?

Here are 5 clear signs the person you’re seeing finds you as replaceable, disposable and doesn’t care about you:

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How to Be in The Moment Romantically & Sexually

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Overthinking and pushing can take you out of the moment when you’re with your partner, whether it’s a sexual or romantic moment.

Looking too hard into the future or overanalyzing things can take away from the pure joy and fun that romance and sex brings.

Here are 3 ways to avoid overthinking and help yourself stay in the moment in the bedroom or wherever you are, with your love interest:

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6 Easy Ways We Can Show We Love Someone During Social Distancing

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While we can’t grab someone in a bear hug or hang out with the person we love necessarily, we can still sustain our relationships and show love to the people we care about while six feet– or most likely, homes apart.

For me, I’ve had someone reach out every single day to ask how I’m doing and my daughter. The person always asks if I am doing okay and says something nice to me. This makes my day!

Another person asks if I need anything and went out of the way to help me accomplish something I needed to  keep me “sane” over this tough time. I will never forget that! It is one of the few things keeping me going during social isolation.

These things make a HUGE difference from a distance. These things show real love.

They make me feel loved. When we feel loved, we are happier and more positive.

Just because you aren’t face to face doesn’t mean you can’t make a loved one feel loved.

In fact, during this god-awful time in which the lot of us are frightened and unemployed and a chunk of us very sick, we need to be MORE Loving, MORE caring and MORE giving.

Now is not the time for BS, fighting, tensions or stress. Now is not the time to be cold, uncaring or harsh.  Now is not the time for petty excuses and nonsense.

We need more than love of course. Many of us need PPE, groceries and our health… but we need love too. A lot of it.

Here are 6 things we can do to make someone feel loved, despite the distance– no excuses:

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3 Things That Affect Whether Someone Trusts You or Not

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https://unsplash.com/@mischievous_penguins

You may be a trustworthy person, but if you’re doing the following three things … your love interest and or partner may not trust you as much. It may even be unintentional completely, but small things can build up over time to affect how someone trusts you. If you’re unpredictable, not available or distant, you could end up causing someone to feel as if he or she can’t put all his or her faith in you.

Unpredictability

If you’re not reliable or can’t be counted on whether in general or suddenly, your partner may start to feel anxious around you. Instability doesn’t lead to trust and comfort. It leads to anxiety and distance.
Be consistent.

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How to Deal With Cold & Unreliable Dating Partners

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Everyone has pet peeves– but for me, the 2 big ones are people who are cold and unreliable (or pure flaky.) I have very little tolerance for any of that. I’m sure other people have bigger trigger points, but these 2 really get to me.

That said, as you’re dating, swiping, chatting and what have you, you’re going to come up against a whole plethora of people with different traits and things that you may love, like or really hate.

How do you handle or respond to cold or unreliable dating partners then?

Here is how you handle these “pain” points:

Cold

Ask the person first, if something is wrong. It’s not all about you– and you don’t know what the person has been up against.

If there is nothing “wrong,” and you’ve communicated to this person that you care and want to talk then, you can assume a few things:

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4 Gestures That Made For Great, Memorable Dates

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Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

Not every date is worth talking about– but some are worth talking about and sharing for years to come– even if you’re not with the person still.
When you have a good date and then go out of your way to show someone that you are intrigued by them and want to know more, it really makes a memorable difference to that person. The little things or the big things we do can go such a long way.

If you had a great time with someone or think there’s a special connection, why not make some extra effort to share how excited you are about meeting this person and developing the relationship potentially further? At the very least by doing so, you’ll get an idea of how this person feels about getting to know you further as well!

Here are some of the most special small gestures I’ve received on dates or after dates, through the years, that really touched me and made me smile.

A Thoughtful Note

When someone expresses what a great time he or she had in words the day after a date– it goes a long way.

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