The Most Important Thing to Look For in a Partner as a Single Man or Woman

As you’re swiping, scoping or chatting with potential partners, I bet the first two things that strike you are:

  • The person’s looks
  • The person’s attitude

After you’ve assessed those two basic things, you drill down into the nitty gritty– especially if you’re a single parent dating:

  • Do they have kids? If yes, do they see them often. If no, do they want kids?
  • Were they married? Do they want to get married again?
  • What do they do for work?
  • What’s the person’s lifestyle like?
  • What are the person’s goals for the next year or so?
  • Where do they live? Is it far from you? Do they live on their own or with other people?

All of these things give you an idea of whether you’ll want to date them– or not. And truly, they are all important factors but after it’s all said and done and you’ve found someone who fits the bill on all of the previously mentioned factors– consider this one single most important thing you should look for in a partner:

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You– Yes, YOU– Deserve Someone Who Is 100% Sold On You

Ambivalent desire can truly drive you crazy. One minute the person wants you– and the next minute … not so much.

You could probably go nuts trying to understand why someone is so on the fence about you, but it wouldn’t be worth it.

Someone who really cares about you will be firm in his or her convictions or at the very least, trying to overcome whatever is causing his or her ambivalence.

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Why Does My Partner Go From Hot to Cold & Back Again?

There is nothing more frustrating than having a partner rescind his or her warmth and love. Especially if in return, you get a cold front.

It’s like having a relationship with someone who exists in a room: the door opens and so does your partner and then, the door closes … and so does the access to your partner.

I’ve been down this road before where a love interest or partner would shut me out and let me in … I know how painful it can be to deal with. I know the questions that run in your mind and that maybe keep you up at night. I also know what it’s like to walk away from that person. At times, my ex-husband could be very cold.

Here are a few reasons that could explain your partner’s mood changes from cold to hot, and hot to cold.

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The Man/Woman Who Push-Pulls Your Relationship: What You Need to Know

You have someone in your life, male or female, who comes close to you, and then drifts further away. This person approaches you on his or her terms, gets involved, and then runs for cover while you’re left feeling abandoned, doubtful of yourself and in pain.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to the push-pull cycle. Where the partner comes in, withdraws, comes in and withdraws again, all to your detriment.

Why the hell is this happening? Why does this man/woman do this? I bet you’ve said all of those things, more than fifty times in your own head.

In my twenties, I experienced this for a bit with a guy. I ended up cutting it off, and we became friends right away. Thank god. He was a much better friend, then a sexual partner and boyfriend, and I was happy to offer friendship. Years later, he kicks himself and says how beautiful I am and wonderful. We are still friends, years later! We’ve been there for each other through a lot. It’s pretty awesome.

Trust me– I see how he aged and how I aged. He regrets it. He was afraid I was too free-spirited for a committed relationship. It turns out I wasn’t, but at least we could be friends … and for 15 years!

If you are reading this page and landed here like me, you probably are the one who is being pushed and pulled away. You probably feel really bad about yourself, wondering why this person would do this to you. You probably feel down about yourself, wondering what you did wrong. You probably feel downright crazy.

Wipe your tears, get your sexiest outfit or– whip out your razors boys, and stop blaming yourself.

Learn what’s what with this push-pull character

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Tips For Your First Date After Divorce

Going out on the first date after divorce or separation is quite a doozy for most people. Think of it as like a cocktail of emotions—a dash of excitement, a sprinkle of dread and a dousing of nerves—and voila—you’ve got the first date after divorce.

Of course, the situation is different for everyone. If you’re going out with an ex or an old friend, your “spidey senses” won’t be as tingling since the person is familiar. If you’re venturing out with an online date or app match, chances are your nerves are in overdrive because, let’s face it: the online experience is a kooky one.

You might even feel a little guilty that first date out, even though you shouldn’t. Guilt over moving on or guilt over being so excited about a date and maybe not caring at all about your ex.

Read More: Tips For Your First Date After Divorce

You’ve Got This,

Laura

8 Signs He’s Not Just Having Sex With You, He Actually LIKES You

You’re super-excited about someone and your feelings are intense for them. The sex is off-the-charts hot. The connection is amazing. Waiting to see this person is torture. You cannot imagine another second without being in this man’s arms.

You’re so cooked and fried over this guy, we could call you a friggin’ hamburger. But is he sizzling over you? (Pardon me… all this talk about sex makes me hungry. Wink.)

Is this man crazy about you and serious about the relationship you’re forming? Or is it just about the sex for him, and the only real relationship that’s going on is the one inside your head? Here are eight signs he’s actually serious about your relationship and isn’t just in it for sex.

1. When the chips fall, he’s there to see you through.

If he’s serious about your relationship, when your car breaks down, you get sick, the cat dies or you have a huge blowout with someone in your family, he’s there. He’s there not because he’s forced to be, but because he cannot imagine leaving you alone.

He’s there because he’s invested in the time he spends with you and developing what you two share. He’s there because you need him, and that’s all he needs to know. If he’s not there for you, he’s only into you as a “curvy, sexy body.” Period.

Read More: 8 Signs He’s Not Just Having Sex With You, He Actually LIKES You

He’s Into You,

Laura

10 Body Language Secrets That Reveal He’s SUPER Into You

His body language doesn’t lie.

You met someone great. You’re wondering if he’s feeling the same but you’re afraid to ask. It might be too soon. You don’t want to lose your cool or seem desperate.

Here’s the good news: you can get the answer without asking. That’s right, it’s all in his body… body language, that is.

Instead of popping that awkward question of, “Dude, are you into me?” you can watch his torso, hands and other body parts to see if he’s totally down to be with you, or not.

Trust me, the body never lies. Unless of course, someone is under severe stress. In that case, it wouldn’t be a great time to start a relationship with someone or hop in the sack. Stress ruins bedroom performance anyway.

  1. His torso faces you.

If he’s talking to you and his upper body is squarely facing you, you might just be “his type of woman.” If he’s talking to you with his torso faced away from you, it’s probably a “just friends situation.”

Think of it this way: in the wild, do you think an animal looking to mate would have approached another animal sideways? I hate to be so basic but he will turn toward you if he’s looking to go in for the kill.

2. He plays with his hair.

Ladies like to twirl their hair when they’re feeling particularly anxious… or horny and ready to mate. Men aren’t much different. If he’s running his hands through his hair (unless he’s bald of course; or perhaps in that case, rubbing his head) and facing you, he may be thinking about mating himself.

Read More: 10 Body Language Secrets That Reveal He’s SUPER Into You

Pay Attention!

Laura

8 Safety Tips You MUST Read Before Dating Online

When I heard the news about the murder of Ingrid Lyne, single mother of three children and Seattle resident, I was floored.

It could have been me.

Not that I know that monster who killed her or live in Seattle, but that I am a single mother looking for love online. It wasn’t the first date. The news reports states that they had been seeing each other for six to eight weeks. A new romance gone completely and utterly, devastatingly wrong. Should I then, single woman, step away from the dating apps and sites? My paranoia says yes — run away! But the reality is that monsters exist everywhere and anywhere and so, if women want to online date we must keep our heads about us and make smart choices when meeting strangers for the possibility of true love. Here are some tips to keep in mind after you’ve swiped right and decided to meet, face-to-face.

Read More: 8 Safety Tips You MUST Read Before Dating Online

 

Be Careful,

Laura