Why He Let You Down; Why She Left You Stranded

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Why Do People Let Us Down?

People let us down for many reasons. One, no one is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all mess up. I know I made mistakes no matter how hard I tried, but that’s ok. We are human.

It’s when people let us down a lot that it becomes more about them– and not about “Oh, I messed up.”

People let us down because they lack commitment and dedication to us.

And when someone isn’t dedicated or committed, he or she won’t try as hard. The person will make less effort, care less and feel less. This person will be a bad friend, a negligent girlfriend or a distant husband.

People let us down because we have more hope and love for them than they do for us.

You’re a dedicated loving spouse. Your spouse is cold, distant or perhaps, unfaithful. When someone doesn’t care as much as we do, that person will go astray. When we love hard, we love hard. When someone doesn’t love much, we feel that lack of love. We feel that emptiness and loneliness.

People let us down out of stress and fear.

When people are anxious, gun-shy or afraid, they often let us down unintentionally. When people are stressed and pushed to their max capacity, they often let us down. They don’t mean to, but they do.

No one is perfect.

We all make mistakes.

The trick is to learn from our mistakes and do better the next time because we care. And when people don’t care, they don’t do better.

It’s up to us to do better.

Lovingly,

Laura

 

When You Realize Your Worth, You’ll Say Buh-BYE to Lazy Partners & Bad Offers

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Photo by Monica Leonardi on Unsplash

There is nothing more joyous than owning your own happiness and realizing how worthy you are.

When you do, it suddenly becomes so easy to laugh off bad partners. To say goodbye to men or women who don’t appreciate you or your value. To not want someone who makes a crappy effort or half-ass effort to be in your life.

It just becomes clear overnight– yes, really— that you deserve better.

So, when your ex comes a calling with same lame offer to Netflix and chill or when some guy or gal who doesn’t really appreciate you wants to hang out– but not commit to you or date and show you how important you are to them–

It’s easy to say, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

For me, there is only one relationship, one situation worth entering into:

The one where the person really makes an effort, is excited to see me and be with me and enjoys being with me.

I am not interested in situationships. I am not interested in being someone’s option. I am not interested in being your or anyone’s friend with benefits.

I am only interested in someone who sees spending time with me as enjoyable and a MUST. Someone who really likes me and finds me fun to be around and wants to get to know me better.

Someone who knows how to ask someone on a date and follow through. Someone who is a good friend, too and caring.

Someone who sees my VALUE. Someone who sees me as so valuable, that he appreciates any second of my time.

That is all I am interested in.

Everyone else, can take their offers elsewhere. My price tag will not be on sale or reduced.

K? Thx. Bye,

Laura

 

Someone Who Deserves You

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Someone who deserves you …

Feels honored to be by your side.
Is proud of you.
Loves showing you off to friends and family and the world.

Shows you deep respect and care.

Is kind to you.

Wants to spend time with you and not just for his or her own needs.

Expresses love to you.

Works on him or herself to be the best person he or she can be— not just for you, but for themselves as well.

Doesn’t take you for granted.

Wants you to stick around.

Can’t imagine life without you.

Appreciates you and attempts to understand you.

Listens to you.

Makes the effort to be available to you.

❤️
Laura

It’s Easy to Be Physical But Not So Easy to Love

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Anyone can have a fun physical connection with someone else. Anyone can buy a gift. Send a gift card. Anyone can have a quick cuddle fest or Netflix and “chill.”

But it’s not so easy to love. To be there for someone. To make them feel special. To really get to know them. To include the person in their daily life.

If you’re “seeing” someone and wondering where the relationship lies, just ask yourself these questions and you’ll find that it’s pretty easy to see how much you really matter to someone:

  1.  Is the person trying to get physical with you or getting physical with you, but hasn’t asked you on a date or included you in his/her hangouts with friends? If you answered yes, this person is taking the easy way out– and you don’t matter to him/her.
  2. Is the person available for you physically, but not emotionally? If this is a yes, this person isn’t invested in you beyond casual interactions.

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When You Can’t Go Further in a Relationship Due to the Other Person

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Every relationship– friendship or romantic– has a path. Some are meant to go the distance and others, not so much. Some relationships– romantic ones– never even take off. And that I think, is the worst.

To fail at a relationship or marriage is really sad and challenging. Devastating. But to me, a relationship that never takes off is even worse.

There is the feeling that with a failed marriage or relationship, at least you got to try and give it your all. You can look back and say, “Sure, I made mistakes, but I still gave it my all most of the time.”

When you are with someone and feel the potential but it never comes to fruition, there is never that feeling of “I tried and failed– but hey! I tried!”

Instead, there is the feeling of “What if?” and “Why?”

“What happened?” and “What went wrong?”

How to Deal With Cold & Unreliable Dating Partners

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Everyone has pet peeves– but for me, the 2 big ones are people who are cold and unreliable (or pure flaky.) I have very little tolerance for any of that. I’m sure other people have bigger trigger points, but these 2 really get to me.

That said, as you’re dating, swiping, chatting and what have you, you’re going to come up against a whole plethora of people with different traits and things that you may love, like or really hate.

How do you handle or respond to cold or unreliable dating partners then?

Here is how you handle these “pain” points:

Cold

Ask the person first, if something is wrong. It’s not all about you– and you don’t know what the person has been up against.

If there is nothing “wrong,” and you’ve communicated to this person that you care and want to talk then, you can assume a few things:

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Someone Who Really Loves You Will Never Let Go of You

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Photo by David Hofmann on Unsplash

Someone who truly cherishes and desires you will never let go of you. He or she will never choose the other “green grass.” That person will never try to forcibly change you or dodge/avoid committing to you.

That person will want you as you are, and want to give him or herself to you completely.

This doesn’t mean this person will be perfect or constantly the epitome of a “perfect partner.”

What it means is this person will be imperfect, but true to you. This person will be flawed, but always, trying to have you near him or her. This person will work hard to be a better person because you inspire him or her to be better!

This person will inspire you to be better!

This person will not dilly-dally or risk losing you.

This person will come forth with all the good intentions you can imagine, trying to get a chance to be loved and known by you.

Not because the person is a crazy stalker– but because the person truly sees all you have to offer and wants so much to have you be a part of his or her life and story.

That person wants you to join him or her in this crazy dance called life. For the slow parts– the quick parts. The interlude. For every movement and tempo and every type of song, this person knows you are the music to which his or her heart beats and goes.

Without you, life is not the same.

You will meet someone who will want so much to dance next to you and be with you in this life.

Do not doubt it.

It’s a promise. Not an “If” but a “when.”

Dance On,

Laura

5 Ways to Make Your Partner Feel Special After You’ve Been Unavailable or Distracted

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

We all want to feel important and cherished, whether we are an introvert, extrovert or something in-between. We all seek that attention and care from someone special, although the ways we may want that attention can vary. None of us want to be intimate with someone and then tossed aside. Unless of course, it was a one-night stand– but that’s for another blog. None of us want to feel ignored or not valued. We all want to feel special.

That being said, how good have you really been at showing the person you care about that he/she matters? Have you been sort of busy and unable to touch base? Have you been slacking or selfish or just not 100% there when with your partner? Have you had too much on your mind and been too distracted?

If you love someone and feel like maybe you need to give your special person some extra TLC for whatever reason, try these easy ideas to brighten their day.

Remember that every relationship  and marriage is truly a garden: it must be tended to, lest it grows weeds or dies.

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9 Gifts to Buy Your New Love Interest This Valentine’s Day

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Photo by Kobby Mendez on Unsplash

You two just met or are recently dating, and so you’re wondering how to crush this Valentine’s Day in a special way so you stay in her good graces. Well, you do it right with a thoughtful gift– so she knows you care and aren’t some foolish guy or gal trying to play her.

Try these 9 thoughtful Valentine’s Day gifts that she really wants to hit the ball out of the park with her:

Super Delicious Desserts!

The way to your lady’s heart is through chocolate or something covered in caramel.

Make it sweet sweet! Share it with her– or, better yet, let her pick a few desserts to enjoy. Probably one of my favorite dates was when the guy allowed me to pick two desserts to try at once. YUM!

Old School Box of Chocolates

Make it quality chocolate, puhlease …

This oldie but goodie always pleases!

Spa Day … Aah …

She needs to relax. She really, really needs to!

Of course,  you’re a new guy on the scene, so don’t go crazy dropping money you can’t afford. A massage as opposed to a spa day is cool, even if it’s an at-home massage.

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9 Ways to Keep Her From Forgetting You & Moving On

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Photo by Julia Caesar on Unsplash

Keeping a woman’s interest is no joke. One or two false steps and you could end up in the “love” recycling bin, asap! This is especially true if you’ve got yourself a very magnetic, strong and charming woman. The reality is she can find someone to replace you, so if you take her for granted or don’t pay her mind, you’ll get walking papers in due time.

If you want to keep her interest and not have her walking away from you, be sure to do these 9 things:

Pay attention to her

Don’t be a clingy psycho obviously, but give her the attention she deserves. That means real focused attention. Not you fiddling with your phone or half-listening to her chatter away.

Make plans

If you’re not asking her out, someone else definitely is– I guarantee this.

A little effort goes a long way, even if the two of you have hectic schedules. If you can’t pencil her in I can assure you she will pencil you out.

Surprise her with a call

Everyone loves to text. It’s easier and convenient, but hearing a love interest’s voice is special. Talking is way better than texting any day, hands down.

Even if it’s a short call to say hello, ask about a sick loved one, check how work went or whatever, it counts!

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