If You Can Remember The Day You Met Someone Happily– It’s a Gift

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Photo by Jorge Gardner on Unsplash

In a world where attention spans are about 0.2 seconds long and everyone has an agenda, running into a stranger and sparking a connection is really rare.

What are the chances of you meeting someone at Target or the corner deli?

They’re low but still– possible.

Can you remember the day you met someone special still?

Do you recall every detail by heart? Do you remember how you felt when you saw that person’s face or heard that person’s voice for the first time?

If you answered yes–  that’s a gift.

It is so rare that we have these special moments and even more rare to find people that we have special connections with.

It’s a shame that so many of us take the people we love for granted. That so many people don’t appreciate all that we have.

If this is you (and it’s quite possible that it is) ask yourself the following things:

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Men Who Do These 6 Things Are Incredibly Sexy

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Photo by John Schnobrich on Unsplash

Every person has his or her own language of love, but there are certain things that men do that women find attractive and sexy. Is it a universal rule that every woman will find these things irresistible? No, but there are many women who would agree that these actions or character traits are incredibly appealing. Read on and see just how irresistible (or not) you might be!

Surprising her– Spontaneity

Okay, some women want the outfit planned and everything timed to a T, however, there is something irresistible and so attractive when a man plans a surprise for us. It feels so thoughtful, romantic and fun to be surprised, whether it’s with a dinner, a visit, a trip away, a present– anything!

Releasing her from a burden– Helpful

A man she cares about know she’s stressed and needs to relax, so if he steps in to help take a burden off her shoulders or give her some extra love– this is very appealing.

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Look For These Things When Dating Men in Their Forties

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If you’re dating and looking to meet a man in his forties, there are certain things to look for that you most likely didn’t consider when you were dating in your twenties.

At this stage of the game, your dating pool may be more shallow, but on a positive note, the man you should be looking for, will be wiser and hopefully, more self-aware than the guys you ran into when you were 20 or 30.

He’s Self-Aware & Works on Himself

He knows his flaws and doesn’t pretend he doesn’t have them. He owns who he is and also, he works to better himself. Sure, he will have baggage just as we all do, but he will try to make the baggage “lighter” and will always own which luggage is his– if you catch my drift.

He’s Willing to Work for You as He Knows He Stands to Gain

He’s not 20 and naive. He knows relationships take work. He knows that being with someone is a dance … sometimes you lead, sometimes your partner leads– and sometimes the pace is fast or slow.

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Is She Worthless to You or Worthwhile?

 

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Photo by Natalie Breeze on Unsplash

Okay gentlemen and ladies– or anyone dating or caring for a woman– let’s be real:

Do you make her feel worthy or worthless?

Do you even know?

I had a friend whose partner was so abusive and controlling, she couldn’t see it. My mom and I tried to point it out, but it was impossible. She didn’t get it. Even with both of us pointing out the obvious, it went over her head.

Sure, he bought her gifts. Sure, he was “there” for her. But he was also, controlling and insulting.

Same with another friend. Her ex was stalking her when angry. He was “great” the rest of the time she said.

And hey, I had an ex who was nice and calm when he was nice, and then when he wasn’t, he would insult me and tell me I was only good because I was hot. That no one would want me for anything but my body.

So, were these men treating my friends or myself as worthy or worthless?

To me, worthless! It didn’t matter if they were nice sometimes. The fact was, they weren’t nice and kind all the time.

Here are signs you’re making her feel worthless– letting her flower wilt VS worthwhile– helping her bloom:

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Do You Want a Relationship Built on Sex or Intimacy?

jonathan-borba-JDBCtEh5x9Y-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

What does it mean to build a relationship towards intimacy versus what it means to build a relationship of sex?

It really depends on what you want. If you value the person and desire closeness, intimacy is the path you’d like to take.

If you just find the person attractive and don’t want to be close to them other than for carnal needs, sex is the path you’d like to take.

There are some easy key differences between these two paths, so let’s dive in and discuss them, as well as discuss which path is better.

While sex is intimate and part of intimacy, taking your relationship down the path of sex does not guarantee closeness. And while taking your relationship down the path of intimacy includes sex, it does includes closeness.

One path builds continuously and evolves, while the other path is limited and steady.

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What it Means to Really Appreciate a Friend, Family Member or Love

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Appreciate:( Transitive Verb) to grasp the nature, worth or significance of; to value or admire; to recognize with gratitude; to be fully aware of; to judge with heightened perception or understanding.

Do you feel as if your person or love really knows how significant you are? Do your family and friends recognize you with gratitude?

Are you valued and admired by the people you love, whether it’s your spouse, friend or brother?

As much as “to love” is an action verb, appreciation requires effort as well although the technical definition is rather intellectual.

It’s an act of kindness and love to really appreciate someone, because no one comes without flaws and bad days. No one comes with happiness and joy, 24/7. This means that to appreciate someone, you must truly embrace and “grasp” the nature of that person– the good, the bad and the moody.

When you don’t feel appreciated, it can be really difficult. Who doesn’t want to feel valued or recognized with gratitude?

Here are the differences between someone who appreciates you and someone who doesn’t:

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Your (My) Partner & Relationship Must-Have List

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Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

If I’m being honest– which I am, and usually, bluntly so– there are some things that I really find attractive in a man. My ‘no-compromise’ list I suppose however, no one will ever be the pinnacle of some list. You will find someone who meets most of your requirements, but never all– and that’s ok! The key is knowing what your “must-have’s” are versus your ” nice-to-have’s.”

Do you really know what you want in a partner and what you can’t stand?

I have spent a lot of time thinking about my must’s, nice-to-have’s and don’t want’s, and I feel like it’s a good exercise to put what I want out into the universe. And I highly suggest you all do the same: find your absolute must-have’s in a human, and write it out– state it aloud!– and claim that person to the universe before you may have even met them. Owning what and who you want and being really hardcore honest with yourself is so important to making great relationships. In the past, I wasn’t honest and I ignored red flag after red flag, which did me no good. So for now, I’m owning what I want.

1. I really like a man who is Calm.

As a complete firecracker and siren, a calm man really just balances me and by calm, I don’t mean dull. I simply mean easy-going or not quick to freak out.

A man who is even-keeled and does not have a temper is really my speed.

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A Table for Two: Time to Date Again?

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I took a break from dating for a while this year and learned a lot.

Ultimately, I enjoy being alone and I think if dating isn’t fun, it’s not worth it. I am extremely self-sufficient and I enjoy my own company. I had a peaceful summer and don’t think I missed anything by not being online!

However now that 2020 is looming near, perhaps maybe it’s time to give dating a stab.

I don’t have anything to lose and could have a lot to gain. And if it ends up being not fun, well I can take a break from it.

I truly believe that things happen as they should be, so if I am meant to be with someone, I will be. If it is meant to be, it will be.

If I end up alone, then I guess that’s just how it is. It could be much worse. I am a lot of fun! Being in my own company is pretty good.

I really feel like I am on the edge of really growing into exactly who I should be and if my journey includes another person, great! I have made little to no effort for a long time and so, I suppose it can’t hurt to put forth some effort. If I come back empty handed, whatever.

I already like my own company. It would just be fun to sit with someone else across the table from me who I enjoy talking to now and then.

Hopefully, however it happens for me, I will be spending my 2020 with extra-good company in addition to my own.

To A Life Well-Lived,

Laura

How to Handle Being Single at The Holidays

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Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Single at the holidays? It can make you feel that truly, baby– it’s damn cold outside! Not to mention those lonely mistletoes hanging around with no action to be seen. Of course, your bedroom isn’t seeing much action either, eh?

I think too many people put pressure to have love at the holidays. Not that I can blame them. Kissing at midnight when the ball drops? Champagne and bubble baths? Getting some warmth on these frigid December nights? It all sounds incredibly appealing …

So, what do you do then if you’re single? If you enjoy your single days– well then, yay! Simply bask in the joy of not having to buy someone else a gift. Or dealing with someone’s family.

However if it bothers you, here are some things to keep in mind: Continue reading

How to Meet New Friends, Dates & Romantic Partners

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 Photo by Kelsey Chance on Unsplash

Looking to date? Want to make friends?

Meeting new people when you’re out of college and a full-grown adult can be challenging for many people, especially if you’re a parent. Dating is probably even harder than making friends at this stage, but both bring certain challenges.

I’m fortunate in that I have always been extroverted and quick to make friends– and for the most part, keep them. I feel lucky to have the friends that I do. But after moving to a new town a few years ago, I have definitely missed my old hometown peeps, but I’ve been making/or made other friends as well, all while sustaining old friendships.

Dating is a different ball of wax. Of course, there are a billion online avenues to take if you want to meet someone, but online isn’t the only or best way to go. It all depends on your own unique needs and wants.

So, if you’re looking to make new friends or get dates, try these suggestions:

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