Recovering From a Cold Icy Partner

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You know you have or had a cold icy partner when:

  • The person always remembers things negatively
  • The person dumps you or during a break up, acts like he or she doesn’t care at all
  • The person shares extensive intimacy with you and then acts like nothing mattered
  • The person minimizes every special moment you have
  • The person rarely expresses affection or if they do they’re hot and cold
  • The person minimizes your feelings and tells you you’re too sensitive or remembering it incorrectly

If these situations sound familiar to you, congratulations you’ve either dated or married a very cold person. Or, were in a relationship with somebody who was icy cold. How do you recover from somebody so hurtful? The answer is it can take years but there are a few things you can do to get yourself warmed up after being with a total icicle so you can move on to someone who is loving and warm. Also, nicer. There is hope! Not every man or woman is a cold hearted jerk. Wink.

  • Remind yourself that the person has issues Whatever the case is, it’s not your fault if somebody is withholding love from you. Most likely the person has other issues.
  • Some cultures are more cold or seemingly cold than others so, it may just be a matter of upbringing and how the person was taught to communicate.
  • If the person constantly minimizes the good times you had or your feelings or the person wasn’t warm and expressive, that person seems a bit cruel and will probably be the same way to someone else. Let the next person feel the icy burn!
  • Get yourself out on dates with a variety of people and just try to have fun in order to rebuild your confidence because we all know that cold partners can tear down your confidence completely, making you feel unworthy and not lovable.
  • Remind yourself each day that this person wasn’t nice and you shouldn’t take what they said to heart because chances are they are not kind anyway. Don’t let those negative thoughts from that icy person get you down.

It’s not easy to rebuild your faith after such an icy partner, but you can do it! Don’t let a cruel cold person extinguish your beautiful inner light.

Love,

Laura

Why Someone Stopped Caring About You

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Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash

Ever wonder why someone stopped caring about you? Did you ever stop to think that maybe you took that person for granted and he or she got tired of feeling unappreciated, taken for granted and unloved?

Maybe that person got tired of you hurting them, essentially?

Here are some reasons that someone who was good, kind and loving finally got tired of you letting him or her down, and stopped caring about you:

You Never Showed Your Feelings

Did you act like you cared? Did you go out of your way to make this person feel loved? Or did you just assume the person would sit around and wait for you to give love back forever?

Continue reading

Do Affair Relationships Last After Divorce?

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Photo by Octavio Fossatti on Unsplash

Affairs are a hot-button topic, both in the real world and online. From being cheated on to being the cheater, you can find many people who have been affected by marital affairs.

However, once the affair has “wrecked the marriage,” what happens to it? Do the couples stay together after the divorce or do they drift apart?

Before I dive in deep, consider these statistics when it comes to affairs:

  • Only 5 to 7% actually end in marriage
  • Of that number, 75% end in another divorce

I asked one coach, one private investigator, a relationship expert and therapist to tell me what they thought happens to the “affair” after the divorce is signed and sealed.

Read More: Do Affair Relationships Last After Divorce?

Spoiler Alert: Doubtful,

Laura

You Want A Divorce But, You Still Love Your Husband

While many people get a divorce because they don’t love their spouses anymore for whatever reason—martial problem breakdown, abuse, neglect, lack of sex, lack of respect, etc.—I occasionally hear from women that they still love their husbands during the divorce process.

What gives? It doesn’t seem to make sense in this scenario, or does it? You can technically love someone but not “be in love” with them anymore, although, to me, that means the love is dead. Let’s be honest, you’re not getting hot and heavy or committing to someone that you fell out of love with. But there are many women who when divorcing, share that they still love their husbands—and it becomes a source of personal conflict for some time.  If this is you, these are the reasons you may be struggling with this very issue as you go through the divorce process. And hang tight—it gets better and over time, you will feel assured you made the right choice by getting a divorce.

Read More: You Want A Divorce But, You Still Love Your Husband

Keep Moving Forward,

Laura

17 Funny Divorce Sayings To Make You Put On A Happy Face

Divorce is no laughing matter but if you don’t laugh a bit throughout the process and find the good, it’s going to kill your spirit. Making light and finding humor in life is a key coping strategy for getting through the bad and moving on to the good in life. Keep these 17 funny sayings and quotes about divorce in your back pocket for whenever you need a good smile—and a laugh!

1. When you physically feel ill—don’t worry … you’re not alone!

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass.
-Mary Kay Blakely

2. Be wary of lawyers …

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, any more than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.
– Jean Kerr

Read More: 17 Funny Divorce Sayings To Make You Put On A Happy Face

Laugh a Little,

Laura

How To Put Your Kid Ahead Of Your Ego With The Custody Schedule

Making a custody schedule is about as fun as stubbing your toe on a Lego or getting food poisoning. However, if you’re divorcing with kids you’ve got to make a schedule that works, which means rolling up your sleeves with your ex and potentially, a mediator or lawyers if needed (hopefully not) and putting it in writing.

The hardest part of all of this is putting your kids before yourself.

It shouldn’t be. I mean, a custody schedule is all about the children, but it’s not uncommon for divorcing parents to let their egos get in the way when making a schedule for their kids.

The bottom line is, of course, you and your ex need to consider your own personal needs and work schedules, but the kids’ needs have to come first.

Here are a few tips to keep your ego in check and put your kids first:

Read More: How To Put Your Kid Ahead Of Your Ego With The Custody Schedule

Put Them First,

Laura

How to Network & Relaunch Your Career After Divorce

Okay, lady. You just got your divorce signed, sealed and delivered. You’re probably a bit weary, a lot tired and maybe completely terrified.

Been there, done that—certified in those feelings totally.

And now, you’ve got more financial responsibilities on your shoulders. While your life has unraveled, it’s now time for you to get it all buttoned up and particularly, with your career.

Believe it or not, your divorce could be the launching pad you need to either totally revamp your career or start one altogether. Even though it’s a time of crisis, it is a time of renewal and a time to focus on you and your life path for at least the next 1-10 years.

So, how will you get your career off the ground or, shined and polished up? With a bit of networking and strategy, that’s how:

GET THE TOOLS

Before you start networking like a fiend, you need to know what tools you’ll need to make your career blast off.

Is it:

  • More education? Do you need to go back to school? If so, can you take out loans? Can you set aside any money weekly? What about your assets? Can you sell your engagement ring, wedding band or marital jewelry to help fund this endeavor?
  • A better resume? Do you need to invest in a resume writer? Perhaps you need two separate resumes or more—in order to nail down the position you want, you may have to test out a few resumes.
  • A job switch? Do you have to leave your current job altogether to get to where you want to go? Or, could you move up or laterally in the company? Consider your “directionality.”

Read More: How to Network & Relaunch Your Career After Divorce

Be Empowered,

Laura

What Your Married Friends Think Dating After Divorce Is Like VS. What It’s Really Like

Married life is great if you’re happy but of course, it’s not the same type of love as when you first met. So, it’s not unusual for your married friends to be curious and eager to chat about your dating life simply because it’s interesting (or so they think) and exciting compared to a date night with their partners.

There is definitely a clear difference in the conversations around dating when I talk with a divorced person vs. a married person. The divorced person already knows or has a gist of the reality you face whereas the married person has ideas about it that are either rooted in fantasy or perhaps, horror!

At the end of it all, your married friends want to see you happy and loved—whether it’s self-love from you or coupled love with someone else. Truly, at the bottom of all their curious and nosy questions, there is a love that radiates to you hoping for your happiness. Remember—these were the people who most likely saw you at your very worst in your marriage: unhappy and brokenhearted.

Read More: What Your Married Friends Think Dating After Divorce Is Like VS. What It’s Really Like

Reality Check,

Laura

Tips For Your First Date After Divorce

Going out on the first date after divorce or separation is quite a doozy for most people. Think of it as like a cocktail of emotions—a dash of excitement, a sprinkle of dread and a dousing of nerves—and voila—you’ve got the first date after divorce.

Of course, the situation is different for everyone. If you’re going out with an ex or an old friend, your “spidey senses” won’t be as tingling since the person is familiar. If you’re venturing out with an online date or app match, chances are your nerves are in overdrive because, let’s face it: the online experience is a kooky one.

You might even feel a little guilty that first date out, even though you shouldn’t. Guilt over moving on or guilt over being so excited about a date and maybe not caring at all about your ex.

Read More: Tips For Your First Date After Divorce

You’ve Got This,

Laura

How to Keep Your Divorce From Becoming Office Gossip

If you work in an office, you know how gossipy it gets. The office is its own microcosm with rules and a life all its own. People like to mind others’ business, and often, share it. What else is there to do when you’re in cubicle central? You could stay quiet but … many don’t.

And at the same time, our coworkers often see us at our best and worst, and when you’re getting a divorce there is a big chance you will be on your “worst,” on quite a few occasions. You can put on a happy face as much as possible and put your nose to the grindstone at work, but you’ll definitely have a few grouchy days. You may need to step into the bathroom, find a stall and cry for a few minutes. That’s normal.

Read More: How to Keep Your Divorce From Becoming Office Gossip

Keep The Chatter Down,

Laura