Missing Someone’s Birthday Is an Insult; Celebrating One Is an Honor

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Celebrating a birthday is an honor, especially in a time where our health— mental and physical — is so tenuous and frail. And we are so isolated from others in many ways, that it’s very hard to feel celebratory at al.
So, when our loved ones have a special day during a time when he or she may feel so disconnected from the world, it’s crucial that we are there to celebrate their special day more than ever.

To me, missing a loved one’s birthday is a horrible thing no matter whether there is a major virus floating around or not. The gift of life is so precious that every year we get to call another to me, is another opportunity to be bigger and better than who we were the year before. A chance to learn from our mistakes and start fresh. To me, when a loved one’s birthday comes up, it’s a time to show that person how special he or she is and honor the connection that person has with me, whether it’s a family member , friend or a romantic connection.

Choosing to not be there for someone on his or her big day is an insult. It’s like saying you wish the person ill. Being there to wish a “Happy Birthday” to the person you care about is a wish for that person to do well and be happy in the next year. Only an unkind partner, friend or family member who doesn’t really care about you would refuse to honor you turning around the sun another year. You don’t have to be married or committed. You don’t have to be best buddies. You don’t have to be the closest family member. But if someone asks you to join them in starting their next year off right, it’s an honor for you to join him or her. And I definitely find it extremely crappy, hurtful, cold and plain out wrong if a romantic partner or family member misses a birthday. That to me in unacceptable. Over the years, I’ve had to adjust to the fact that my mom–someone I really love— can’t remember my birthday due to her dementia, and that’s hard enough. So if someone important in my life who has no memory issues can’t be there for me to wish me well on the turning of another year, it hurts.
And it’s not something the person can ever make up! You won’t turn 30,32,40,50 or whatever age you happen to be turning ever again. So, if a person selfishly isn’t there for a birthday, that person missed the whole moment.

Moral of the story? Cherish and celebrate the ones you love. Don’t be foolish and miss out. Don’t make a mistake you can’t take back. Take the time out for the person. Rejoice in all they mean to you.

If it’s your birthday, embrace the new year and make some changes.

Love

Laura

When You’ve Had Enough: The Last Straw

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Photo by Meghan Rodgers on Unsplash

So long, Mr./Mrs. Nice Guy! Even we nice people get to a point where we can’t handle being taken for granted. Even nice people get tired of people’s crap and tired when people let us down. We give you folks so many chances but at some point, even we say– “Enough is enough.”

Have you ever felt as if you’re always giving people a chance? Always being patient and understanding of their issues? Always hoping the best for them? Putting in the extra effort? Going the extra mile?

Yeah well, we nice people get tired of giving, giving and giving, while people take, take and take. We get tired of being “so understanding” of other’s issues. And doing our best to keep everyone happy– friends, partners, family, etc.

There comes a point when it’s the last straw– the last straw to break the camel’s back. When we’re tired of someone hurting us, letting us down and disappointing us.

When that time comes, you best believe that even nice people say– “Screw it.”

We withdraw everything! We withdraw our love, our care, our friendship, our respect and our time. We withdraw from caring about someone who doesn’t give a hoot about us. We say– “Enough is enough.”

And suddenly, we don’t care about you. We have no time for you. We have no patience, no love and no nothing for you.

Our goodwill and love has an expiration date– today. 2020.

Peace Out,

Laura

 

 

How to Pick Up The Pieces After Someone Disappoints or Abandons You

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Photo by Saksham Gangwar on Unsplash

Hurt. Disappointment. Skepticism. Lack of trust. Lack of faith. Anger. Sadness. Anxiety.

When people we love, whether it’s a friend, coworker, partner, parent or whomever– abandon us out of nowhere, it is very painful. Even if it wasn’t out of nowhere– it still hurts.

Knowing that person didn’t care enough about you as a person is a hard pill to swallow.

When you rely on someone and trust them and that person hurts you, leaving you to deal with the heartache that person left behind– it’s not easy!

How do you deal with those feelings?

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4 Ways COVID-19 Showed Me People’s True Colors– & I’ll Never Forget This

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Photo by Zach Ahmajani on Unsplash

This virus has been the most difficult thing any of us have experienced in a lifetime– unless perhaps, if you were also alive during the 1918 Flu.

Challenging for everyone for different reasons, this virus has put all of our characters and collective sanity on the line.

But one thing is for sure, after this is all done, I will never ever forget the four different ways COVID-19 showed me people’s true colors. Not ever.

1. I learned who helps and who is just hot-air

The people who have helped myself and my daughter have been so valuable. There is nothing like having support when you are trying to raise a little girl on your own. There is nothing like having people who want to help and make things better for you.

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COVID-19 Should Make Us All Realize What Is REALLY Important

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Photo by Joshua Earle on Unsplash

No matter where you are in this world today, most likely your life is impacted by this scary novel Coronavirus. For me and my girl, we are socially distancing and homeschooling/working. It’s challenging and isolating to say the least, but we are not alone. For us in particular, lacking adult and child/peer contact is difficult. But it’s for the greater good, society and our health. It’s not a “should we,” but a “we must” kind of moment.

During the day like many parents I am sure, I get snappy or annoyed. I feel like I can’t really focus on anything or, like I need to escape. Single parenthood doesn’t allow that escape. There are no other hands “on deck,” to change that for me.

But one positive thing from all of this is how clearly this virus points out what is really important in life and what isn’t. After this is all said and done, consider how many of us will “exit” this part of our lives and enter the next stage as a different person. Yes, some of us may leave financially devastated, anxious and depressed, but hopefully  all of us will realize now what really matters to us in life.

Love. The people in our lives. Our health. Happiness (mental health).

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The Most Loving Thing Someone Can Do Is Be There For You

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Photo by Chermiti Mohamed on Unsplash

The single most loving thing anyone can do is be there for you.

The person doesn’t have to have answers or help. The person doesn’t have to be an expert to be there for you.

All someone has to do is show up.

All someone has to do is not be lazy, selfish or unreliable.

Simply being present for someone when he or she needs it is the best way to say ” I love you.”

No gift, no favor and no “title” or status can show love the same way being there for someone can say–  You are loved.

The person who has the time to listen.

The person who has the time to help you if you’re sick or be an advocate at the doctor for you

The person who celebrates you and comes around to cheer you on.

That person loves you without any fancy gifts, showy displays of affection or exchange of vows.

Simply being a present and active person in someone’s life is the greatest gesture of love we can all ask for.

It’s one little thing that means so much– your presence.

Lots of Love,

Laura

Your Actions (or No Actions) Show How You Really Feel About Someone

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Photo by Kyle Hinkson on Unsplash

Every relationship is built on actions– lack of actions, plenty of actions, the wrong or right actions.

One of the biggest things that will always tell the truth even if you don’t want it to, are  your actions!

Your actions show if you are full of hot air or, true to your word.

Consider this example– you can tell someone to let you know if he/she needs help, or you can show up on the doorstep and help.

You can tell someone you care about them and they’re important, and never be available for them

Or you can be there when they’re sick, in trouble or just to spend time together.

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Watching Your Parents Grow Old Is The Hardest Thing Ever

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Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

My grandparents died before I turned 2. I didn’t have the lucky privilege of having them around. So. watching my parents grow older is the first time I’ve truly seen people I love … grow old.

Recently, my mom fell and got emergency hip replacement surgery. Seeing her in extreme pain was horrible. Worrying about her recovery now– although she is improving– is hard.

No one warned me how hard it would be to watch your strong capable parents grow into more vulnerable people.

No one told me how hard it would be to sit and stroke your mom’s hair as if she were a child. Not the other way around.

Between work and caring for my daughter full-time, trying to get to my mom as much as possible has been challenging.

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What it Means to Really Appreciate a Friend, Family Member or Love

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Appreciate:( Transitive Verb) to grasp the nature, worth or significance of; to value or admire; to recognize with gratitude; to be fully aware of; to judge with heightened perception or understanding.

Do you feel as if your person or love really knows how significant you are? Do your family and friends recognize you with gratitude?

Are you valued and admired by the people you love, whether it’s your spouse, friend or brother?

As much as “to love” is an action verb, appreciation requires effort as well although the technical definition is rather intellectual.

It’s an act of kindness and love to really appreciate someone, because no one comes without flaws and bad days. No one comes with happiness and joy, 24/7. This means that to appreciate someone, you must truly embrace and “grasp” the nature of that person– the good, the bad and the moody.

When you don’t feel appreciated, it can be really difficult. Who doesn’t want to feel valued or recognized with gratitude?

Here are the differences between someone who appreciates you and someone who doesn’t:

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What It’s Really Like Being the Baby of the Family

As the last of four girls, I am an official expert on being the youngest. And, yes, there is an expertise to being the best youngest sibling. The oldest always gets the credit for being independent or hardworking. The middle child gets credit for, well, being ignored most of their lives — or, cleverly, being “great mediators” and “peacemakers.” But the youngest?

The youngest children are touted as pure rebels or brats. Which might be a tiny bit true but is also, completely unfair to badmouth our existence and forget all that we truly excel at.

Here’s the real deal on what it’s like to be the baby of the family — the good, bad and the ugly.

Everyone thinks we’re in diapers, even when we’re 40

People forget that you’re a grown adult with a mortgage or rent to pay when you’re the baby of the family.

Read More: What It’s Really Like Being the Baby of the Family

I Was Probably a “Surprise,”

Laura