6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Very shortly, it will be 3 years since my divorce date and over 5 years since I have been separated from my ex-husband. As it gets close to that date each year which also is right next to our wedding anniversary ironically, I always reflect on the trials, wins, and growth I’ve made in that time. In some ways, I always find myself a bit short of where I want to be, and in other ways, I always find that I’ve surpassed my expectations. Now that it’s almost three years out, here’s what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed.

1. DOING THE RIGHT THING ALWAYS PAYS OFF

There were many times when it came to my ex or things involving him where friends would say I was “too nice” or going out of my way.
This isn’t to say that I always did the right thing each time, but that overall, I usually tried to do the right thing.

I think it’s paid off. I think my daughter has learned a lot from my example, and I think it has helped bridge the gap and heal relationships between myself and my ex’s family. I think it’s helped to ensure that my daughter has a relationship with them as well. I even see some positive changes between my ex and me, so I’ll take them.

Read More: 6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Learning & Growing,

Laura

You Can’t Keep Up With Your Married Friends’ Budgets After Divorce–& That’s Ok!

Although there are exceptions to every rule, many of us feel a financial lifestyle shift after divorce. This impact can be lessened if you end up getting good financial support from an ex or, if you have family who helps support you. But overall, most people have to make financial adjustments. This may mean that you won’t be able to spend like you used to on everything from “must-have’s” to “want-to have’s.” This can be extremely frustrating and hard to adjust to, but the reality is being happy is more important than having a certain lifestyle. As long as you have a roof over your head and are healthy … that’s more than many people have.

If you beat yourself up over these financial changes, it can really bring you down. There’s nothing worse than the feeling of coming up empty-handed, while you think others are doing great and able to give their kids the world. The operative word being “think,” as you really don’t know how other people live, and what they go through. And no matter what, you’ll never measure up by comparing yourself to a two-income family and by doing so, you will only make yourself feel worse. There are ways, however, to deal with these financial stresses and comparisons between your friends and yourself. Read on – and hang on because it always gets better.

Read More: You Can’t Keep Up With Your Married Friends’ Budgets After Divorce–& That’s Ok!

In the Balance,

Laura

8 Tips to Help You with Finances When Facing Divorce

Getting a divorce is a marathon—not a sprint and if you know you’re going down the divorce road, prepping your finances is a smart way to handle what’s about to come your way. Finances can be the hardest obstacle of them all in divorce. It’s one thing to go through the various emotions of divorce—grief, anger, happiness, relief and sadness, but quite another to be potentially facing a perilous financial situation.

Here are some tips to help you financially prep for divorce:

1- Assess your accounts and debts—joint and sole:

Here’s one piece of scary news—you better hope your spouse doesn’t have debt secretly wracked up because as the spouse, you can be held responsible. This is something out of your control, but what you can do is assess all the joint and sole accounts and debts. Get a handle on what the two of you stand to have to pay off—and what the two of you will potentially be fighting for, or splitting.

And if you don’t have your own account…

Read more: 8 Tips to Help You with Finances When Facing Divorce

Run With Purpose,

Laura