Thoughts on Holiday Romantic Highs & Lows

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Photo by Jared Sluyter on Unsplash

The holidays are a frenzied time of highs and lows for most people. If you’re entering into the New Year still a bit dizzy over the past few weeks, you’re not alone. Depending on your own personal situation with love, perhaps the holidays were very successful and romantic, or perhaps it was not at all. It may have even been a mix of highs and lows– that is life, after all. Here are some typical holiday romantic highs and lows, and how to deal with them as you enter in the new year.

You got amazing gifts from your loved one.

Your partner or love interest spoiled you rotten. After the high and delight from such care and love, you are probably feeling really confident in your relationship. Treasure it! And also realize that some times, your partner won’t be able to be as doting.

VS.

Your love interest didn’t get you a gift

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11 Things I Learned About Life & Love in 2019

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Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

There is only one week left in 2019, and what a year it has been! It ended a little crazy– but also, with many things to look forward to. Simply put, if you can’t take lessons from your year then what good is it to celebrate a new one?

Here are 11 things I learned in 2019– and will never forget.

Standing up for yourself is never a bad thing

It’s not always easy to speak out when someone does something wrong, but it is necessary.

As a mom, I am a role model for my kid. If I allow bad treatment to happen or sit back and do nothing when I could make a positive difference, that’s not setting the right tone.

Breathe–your journey is not going to be the same as others

Your timeline will be very unique from everyone else’s. Even when it seems like everyone else on the planet has done something or hit a life goal in the same linear fashion, and you haven”t.

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Feeling Left Out & Alone From the Fa-La-La’s: Holiday Blues

markus-spiske-AF_4tBQjdtc-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

I have a lot of friends– most of which I would say are good, close friends, but it is hard for me to not feel a bit lonely amongst all the holiday cheer. Perhaps it’s that my family members have grown and gone many different ways. Some of which are not well and able to celebrate very much. Perhaps it’s being single for so long. Perhaps it’s living in a town where everyone is so closely knit and I am still relatively new. Perhaps it’s that some of the old traditions we have I couldn’t afford to do OR, that my kid was sick and we missed out on two festive things.

Or maybe it’s just me. Maybe not.

What do you do when you feel like the holiday cheer is so loud and you are lost amongst it? It is hard to not feel disappointed and sad because the most wonderful time of the year really can be so wonderful. Why wouldn’t you want to enjoy?

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12 Days of Christmas, Single Mom Style

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Photo by Ira Ostafijchuk on Unsplash

I tend to listen to holiday music ad nausem because I miss singing in choir; this season always reminds me of numerous years of concerts I either sang or sang and played an instrument in over the years. But, as I “race” to get stuff done– and try to remember hiding the elves for my daughter, and oh can’t forget Hanukkah too, it all blurs by. This is when I wish I had four hands instead of two, but part of being a single mom is learning how to be more than one person. Guess what? I still haven’t quite learned because it’s just not possible.

It had me making up my own little 12 days of Christmas song– if only.

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9 Signs of Serious Depression at the Holidays

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Photo by Warren Wong on Unsplash

Suicide Prevention Month is technically September but with the holidays rolling around, I thought it might be helpful to talk about it now. Many people feel alone, worthless and stressed at this time of year.

It’s not unusual for people to hit a rock bottom during this time of year. Unfortunately, I have known a few people (mostly from a distance) that took a turn for the worse right around Thanksgiving and Christmas.

So, I figured I might compile a list of some symptoms of serious depression so you can all keep an eye on your loved ones or yourselves if needed. A person very close to me lost someone she loved to suicide and it was and is, an unending wound. Hug your loved ones tightly this season and be the supportive ear that person might need!

9 Signs of Serious Depression– Especially at the Holidays

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Giving Up Things You Need & Love: Life As a Single Parent

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Photo by Sergei Gavrilov on Unsplash

Sometimes we hit hard patches in life and we have to give up things we love. At the tail end of this year, I got hit with something that cost me financially a lot to handle– but I had to handle it. I couldn’t walk away or retreat from the matter and I ended up doing the right thing. But as a single parent, it was a financial hit I didn’t need as I already had endured enough the past six years. Not to mention the holidays– as much as I try to watch my funds and stick to a budget– it still costs– even with me being mindful.

So, after tallying up what I will need to pay for the next month or so, it hit me I may have to give up some things I love and some I even need in order to keep going, which really hurts. No one truly knows the financial sacrifices involved when you are a single parent– unless you are one as well.

My most favorite thing and really my one source of consistent artistic and physical joy, is dance.

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How to Handle Being Single at The Holidays

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Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Single at the holidays? It can make you feel that truly, baby– it’s damn cold outside! Not to mention those lonely mistletoes hanging around with no action to be seen. Of course, your bedroom isn’t seeing much action either, eh?

I think too many people put pressure to have love at the holidays. Not that I can blame them. Kissing at midnight when the ball drops? Champagne and bubble baths? Getting some warmth on these frigid December nights? It all sounds incredibly appealing …

So, what do you do then if you’re single? If you enjoy your single days– well then, yay! Simply bask in the joy of not having to buy someone else a gift. Or dealing with someone’s family.

However if it bothers you, here are some things to keep in mind: Continue reading

What Your Love Interest Wants You to “Buy” This Holiday Season

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Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

If you just met someone, have been with them for a while or care about someone and want to show them you actually care about them beyond the surface/physical … here are things you can “get” this love interest, and none of them are gifts. Although of course if you’d like to buy this person a gift, by all means do so! I’ll have some bonus tips on picking the right gift thrown in.

First, the biggest thing you can give this person is your Time.

Time to spend together, get to know each other and appreciate each other is the biggest gift of all.

But this time has to be well-spent.

Put away your phones! No surfing the internet while with this person.

Set aside your distractions.

Even if it’s just for two hours, two hours of quality time beats an afternoon where your love interest stares at his or her phone all day.

The second biggest thing you can give this person is your Affection.

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A Single Mom’s Christmas (Er, Hanukkah too) List

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Photo by Food Photographer | Jennifer Pallian on Unsplash

The other day my daughter said she was upset because Santa leaves her way more presents than he does for me.

I’m a single parent and also, single. Thankfully, she believes in Santa. Not thankfully, I can only buy so many “fake” presents for myself. I told her that I tell Santa to not bring gifts for me and instead, to leave for her. This seemed to placate her.

In truth, while I wouldn’t mind a pair of diamond earrings, some dance classes and new shoes and a nice coat, I don’t view gifts in the same light as I used to. Or the holidays.

I won’t lie that nice gifts are attractive, but they don’t mean the same thing to me anymore. It’s not a priority for me. When I envision the holidays, I consider the people I will be spending them with and the experiences I will have with them. I would rather have love than diamonds. Time with someone than a gift to unwrap.

Today, as I cleared off my car of the first ice and snow of the season, I was reminded of how great it would be if I had had someone to do it for me while I got my kid ready for school, instead of spending 20 minutes doing it on top of everything else.

And while that’s not the same as seeing the tree in NYC with your partner or sharing champagne on New Year’s, it’s truly just the snapshot of how wonderful having someone great can be. Having someone to be present for you and helpful, is better than a present.

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5 Life Remedies You Need to Heal A Broken Heart Over The Holidays

The holidays are sort of like a high: they rush in, take over your life, and fill your schedule with a bunch of activities. They take charge of your wallet (unless you shop smart!) and tug at your heartstrings. What makes the holidays so special are the memories and traditions we have created with our loved ones. The yearly family photos. The gift-giving exchanges.

That’s what makes the holidays so amazing: the love.

So, what happens when you’re going through a breakup, a loss of a parent or loved one, or a divorce at the holidays?

The heartache feels like it’s amplified a million times more. Every tradition or moment is tinged with that former person’s presence, whether it’s an ex-husband or a parent who passed. There is a ghost in the room with everything you do.

It’s understandable to feel this pain in a more pronounced way during the holidays, but how can you help yourself heal and enjoy the time with your loved ones and beautiful children despite the heartache?

Read More: 5 Life Remedies You Need to Heal A Broken Heart Over The Holidays

Just Heal,

Laura