10 Thoughts You Have When Up in the Middle of the Night With a Newborn

There you are, in the darkest of nights with your tiny newborn staring up at you. You believe that most accurately you just saw this little face about two hours ago, but heck . . . at this stage of the game, every hour and day seems to blur by in a whirl of burp clothes, diapers, and your baby’s face. You are so tired, you probably answer to any and all names someone might call you, and you have impressed yourself by surviving on the little sleep that you have. You begin to find any minutes of shut-eye a luxury, and most often, you find yourself wondering where your baby ends and you begin.

1. Really? Again?

You could have sworn your newborn just woke up seconds ago. How is it that he’s already awake and crying? Maybe that’s another sound you hear. Oh, wait. Nope, that’s definitely the baby. You were hoping it was the family cat but unfortunately your cat doesn’t sound like that.

Doesn’t this baby realize that a mother without sleep is a dangerous human being? Oh well. You grab that cute little guy and you thank him for being so adorable, otherwise he might be out of luck!

Read More: 10 Thoughts You Have When Up in the Middle of the Night With a Newborn

It Has to be The Cat, Right?

Laura

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Why We Shouldn’t Shame Moms Who Hate Infancy

A month or two ago, a woman who I knew as an acquaintance at my gym had her first baby.

“How’s it going?” I asked, congratulating her and asking how she was feeling, something I noticed most people don’t do.

It’s all about the baby, after all.

“It’s OK, you know, she’s not sleeping very well and she cries a lot. I mean a lot, a lot!”

I heard it in her speech: infancy was not her cup of tea right now.

“I’m so sorry. You know, it’s OK if you hate this right now. My daughter slept very well, but I’ve had friends and family who dealt with colic.”

Looking at me with a face of relief: “Thank you — you’re the first person I’ve been able to be honest with. The first person who asked how I was. Honestly, I’m struggling and totally hating it. I feel so guilty.”

Read More: Why We Shouldn’t Shame Moms Who Hate Infancy

Support All Moms,

Laura

6 Signs You Are in Denial Over Your Child’s Problem

When our kids have problems, it’s the worst feeling in the world as a parent. All we want to do is solve the problem, but sometimes we can’t. Even still, sometimes as parents . . . we deny that there’s a real issue in the first place. Most of the time when this happens, it’s not because a parent is stupid, but that a parent has such strong emotions about the matter that ignoring those ugly and sad feelings is easier than rolling up their sleeves and dealing with those feelings and the problem at hand. As a teacher, I used to see this all the time. A parent would brush off our concerns, refuse to communicate with me and the staff, or put the blame on the school. It was frustrating, but now, as a parent, I have more empathy for those parents who were in “Denial Land.”

Here are a few signs that you may be blowing off a child’s problem and living in that land called “Denial!”

Read More: 6 Signs You Are in Denial Over Your Child’s Problem

Be Aware,

Laura

Enough With the Goo-Goo-Gaa-Gaa: Reasons to Stop Baby Talk

We all have cute little pet names or voices we might do only for our children, and in fact, I love to change my voice to be silly more than your average mommy. However, not once did I speak to my daughter in baby talk. There’s no shame in a little sweet talk with your little one, but from the start, I spoke to my baby girl (now 4) as a regular person.

One day at the park when my daughter was 2, a woman stopped me to say, “Wow, you really talk to her like she’s an actual person and she speaks very well. Have you always spoken to her this way?”

I said yes and told her the things I did to help my daughter’s blossoming speech production. She said that she had spoken to her first son in “too much baby talk” and was planning on doing something different for her newly born son who she was wearing on her chest.
Read More: Enough With the Goo-Goo-Gaa-Gaa: Reasons to Stop Baby Talk

Voted Most Talkative in 8th Grade,

(Not surprising)

Laura

What to Say When People Tell You to Stop Nursing Your Kid

There you are nursing your infant, baby, or toddler when someone says to you, “When are you going to stop nursing him already?” They act as if you’re not providing a source of food and comfort to your child, but instead, letting him run around destroying people’s private property or yelling obscenities at the top of his voice. The tone is always the same: disgust, condescension, or irritation, as if you’ve personally disturbed this person’s peace and quiet with your nursing.

You’ll never totally change this person’s mind, who either A) doesn’t understand the benefit of nursing, or B) has taken a totally inappropriate but sexual view of nursing, not uncommon in prudish America, where you can shove your “ta-tas” in a bare-all shirt but not nurse your kid in public without comment. However, you can speak your mind about the choice you have made with your child to nurse your baby. But before you say a peep to this protester, remember that, no matter what, it’s your baby, and you and his or her other parent call the shots on how you feed your child. In other words, it’s no one’s business.
Still, it can’t hurt to have a few comments in your parenting arsenal.

Read More: What to Say When People Tell You to Stop Nursing Your Kid

The Nursing Days Were Great,

Laura

How to Survive and Thrive in a Moms’ Group

You just had a baby, or perhaps you’ve decided you’re tired of parenting without a net — a support net, that is. So you think to yourself, “Maybe it’s time to find a moms’ group so I don’t feel so alone.” Whether you’re joining one on Facebook, via Meetup, or at your local hospital, it’s a great idea and can be such a positive experience. But before you go to be just “one of the moms,” mind these tips on how to survive and thrive in a moms’ group!

Read More: How to Survive and Thrive in a Moms’ Group

We All Need A Friend,

Laura

Why You Are Indeed a Superhero the First Time You Go Out Alone With Your New Baby

Did you, new mom of one, just exit the building with your — gasp — baby? Did you, mom of plus two, venture out into the world with your big kids and your newborn? EEK!

You, mother of a new baby, are venturing out into public without your partner by your side. Nope, it’s just you and the kiddo . . . or kiddos, hoping and praying that none of you has a breakdown, especially you. Oh, sure, we moms say we don’t want the baby to cry, but really, it’s more of a crime if we cry in public than if the baby does. People understand a tiny newborn’s need to wail but not an adult capable of pulling her stuff together. So when you, mom, leave the house with that infant seat carrier, wearing your newborn baby, or pushing that sweet thing in a stroller, you are, indeed, a superhero!

Read More: Why You Are Indeed a Superhero the First Time You Go Out Alone With Your New Baby

Laura

6 Things You Need To Know About Nursing

My nursing relationship with my daughter was wonderful. Did I leak sometimes in not-so optimal places? Yes. Did I sometimes feel like a glorified cow? Oui. Did I hate getting mastitis and plugged milk ducts? An empathetic, yes, but for me overall, my nursing experience was great. I thank from the bottom of my heart or perhaps I should say bosom, a very special nurse and lactation consultant, Linda Carroll, who not only helped me with my daughter in our early awkward nursing days, but who also ran a mother’s group in the hospital where I had my daughter. She was not just a hands-on help when it came to nursing issues like improper latching or clogged ducts, but she was like a second mother and really cared about all of us new moms both for our infants’ sakes and our own. She made that first scary but exciting first year as a mom all the better. She will always have a special place in my heart, and I truly wish for every new mom to have such a leader and support. It’s not easy venturing out into motherhood alone!

And so I thank her when I share these things that I learned from her. These 6 little things I learned about nursing helped develop a great nursing relationship with my child and made that uncharted territory so much easier.

Read More: 6 Things You Need To Know About Nursing

Milk Money,

Laura