7 Things To NEVER Say To Someone Struggling With Infertility

Seriously. You’re not helping.

When someone experiences or goes through infertility, or pregnancy and infant loss, it’s very hard to tolerate just about anything someone might say. For a long time it can feel as if there are no correct words to help your heart heal, but on occasion, someone will say a gem that really makes you feel a little warmth and brightness during such a stressful and dark time in your life.

On the flip side, there are also the people who say things that you absolutely cannot believe another human being would have the balls to say to someone experiencing difficulty getting pregnant, grieving over the loss of a pregnancy or coping with a stillbirth.

If you or your loved ones are dealing with these heart wrenching issues, hand all the people you know and love this list of what NOT to say someone enduring fertility or pregnancy/infant loss.

1. “You can always adopt.”

After I miscarried, an old ex-friend of mine’s advice was “Well there are plenty of babies and kids looking for homes. You can always adopt.”

While that statement is true, number one, nowhere in that statement does it acknowledge the grief I experienced and number two: news flash sister: Not everyone can afford to adopt. I know I couldn’t back then and I still can’t! Throwing those words around is foolish. Adoption is a completely lovely way to grow your family, but not everyone is equipped to do so. Please, bite your tongue people.

Read More: 7 Things To NEVER Say To Someone Struggling With Infertility

Watch Your Tongue,


8 Ways to Support Someone Going Through IVF

I’ve never gone through IVF (in vitro fertilization), but I have experienced pregnancy lossand watched while friend after friend experienced a myriad of infertility issues from stillbirths to multiple rounds of IVF. As a child, it never crossed my mind when playing “house” that those pretend babies I had might not ever be real. Once I got pregnant with the first pregnancy though, I learned that making a baby is not as easy as it looks. Hitting the end of my thirties, I am standing by and holding the hands of friends who are also discovering that, lo and behold, pregnancy is not a walk in the park. If you know a friend or family member going through IVF, keep in mind that it’s not easy and try to support them with one or all of these three ways!

Read More: 8 Ways to Support Someone Going Through IVF

Always Here for a Helping Hand,