Looking For A Husband? Here Are Your Jewish Father’s Top 3 Picks

There is reality, and then there’s another universe called “Your Jewish Dad’s Reality.” He wants you to be happy and treated well, but if he could control it, he would pick your partner for you. In fact, there are probably quite a few Jewish fathers who have attempted this trick. On his planet, there are only a few men who are good enough for you and, unfortunately, your choices rarely make the cut!

When I told my dad I was getting a divorce, he had a list of suggestions of who would make the best candidate for hubby number two. It was sweet because he wants me to be happy, but also slightly impossible since he hasn’t been out in the world to see the people I keep meeting. Here are three men your Jewish dad is begging you to marry.

1. The Doctor
A doctor is the Jewish dad’s dream. He has a good education and a steady job. Most likely, robots won’t replace doctors thirty years from now, g-d willing.

Read More: Looking For A Husband? Here Are Your Jewish Father’s Top 3 Picks

He’s Got His Opinions!


Stuff Jewish Dads Say: The Hypochondriac Version

Jewish dads are known to impart their wisdom frequently. The world wouldn’t be a better place without your Jewish dad reminding you ad nausem about well, mostly everything. And if your Jewish dad only tells you something once, check his forehead because most likely he’s actually sick, and not sick from worry or his own hypochondriasis, but literally physically ill!

“It’s a Tumor”
You think you have an innocent little mole or freckle on your arm, leg, or other body part but your Jewish dad knows better. He knows it’s a tumor and most likely cancerous, so you better see the doctor today. Pronto!

You’re an adult and don’t have to live with him to hear these things anymore? No problem! He will call, text, and email to ask when you are seeing the doctor again. If he’s a real “pro” he may even WebMD stuff and email it right to you. You go to the damn doctor simply so he will stop bothering you until the next “concern” comes up again.

Read More: Stuff Jewish Dads Say: The Hypochondriac Version

It’s Not a Tumor,