Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

I found out through a text from a friend of mine that a high school bully of mine was dead: “Did you hear? She died. She went to our high school. It’s really sad.”

I didn’t say anything at first. Empathetic, warm-hearted me hesitated before answering. I didn’t want to sound like a total insensitive jerk. I knew my friend knew this old bully of mine but I wasn’t sure how friendly they had been, especially after years of trying to learn how to deal with bullies and protect myself. Plus, some of my thoughts didn’t align with who I am inside — a good person with a big heart.

But even good people with big hearts can decide they’ve had enough of toxic people’s garbage, especially when it comes to the past and bullying in schools. They don’t want to forgive someone all that easily when they’ve been done completely wrong.

Read More: Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

Forgive & Heal,

Laura

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5 Behaviors to Shed in the New Year for a Happier Loving Life

New Year, new you?

Well, not if you do the same old stuff you did last year. And so many of us, seem to make the same mistakes repeatedly simply because certain behaviors that were learned or perhaps genetic, have become a habit.

But that doesn’t have to be you. A new year is a shiny new shot at rewriting your story. Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventures” books? If you turned to page 25, you might end up trapped. If you turned to page 50, you might end up a wealthy tycoon … or something like that.

Consider this New Year a chance to “choose your own adventure” by rewriting yourself. Take an honest look at yourself and what worked and what didn’t work for you in 2018. Decide to avoid those pesky traps by shedding old behaviors and replacing them with better attitudes and habits that will bring you joy in 2019. You can’t change every single aspect of yourself or your life, but you can turn the wheel in another direction, or head to page 50 instead of page 25 to change your life this coming year.
Here are a few behaviors to kiss goodbye to and leave in the past as you head into the future on January 1, 2019 …

Read More: 5 Behaviors to Shed in the New Year for a Happier Loving Life

Happy New Year!

Laura

10 New Year’s Resolutions Every Working Mom 40 and Over Needs to Make

There comes a time in your life when certain behaviors, thoughts or expectations of yourself are no longer valid. At some point, we all tell ourselves, “I’m getting too old for this garbage.”

Forty is that age.

I remember thinking 40-year-olds were pretty much crypt-keepers when I was a kid, but our 40s are different than our mothers’ 40s. I’m not sure what exactly my mom thought when she hit 4-0, but I know for so many of my friends, we found ourselves wondering: What’s next? What haven’t I done yet that I’ve been wanting to do? What and who in my life needs to go at this point? What do I still have to figure out?

In other words, it’s the “I’m going for it” decade. Our forward motion is propelled by the confidence we gained from growing ourselves in our 20s and 30s. With that said, the New Year is almost here. What should we feisty 40-something working moms embrace as our New Year resolutions to make 2019 a kick-ass-and-take-names type of year? Here’s what I suggest:

Read More: 10 New Year’s Resolutions Every Working Mom 40 and Over Needs to Make

Resolving,

Laura

5 People to Say Goodbye to When You Hit Your Forties

In your twenties, you get to know people outside of your home and community. You get a feel for the world and what society is like. You have usually a diverse group of friends or at least acquaintances, and you’ve got more time to mingle. When you hit your thirties, you’ve solidified much of your core social group or if not, you’re about to do just that. You’re letting your social circle get smaller and at the same time if you get married and or have children, your circle also changes. This change is major. Your social circle is tight and if it’s not that’s a big issue.

To be frank, as a woman, if you don’t have at least one great girlfriend you can count on in your thirties, I implore you to get out there and make one—now!

You are missing out. Sure, guy friends are nice, but truly… a woman needs a few amazing girlfriends, always.

Okay, now that I’ve emphasized the importance of having great girlfriends, what happens to your social circle when you hit your forties?

Read More: 5 People to Say Goodbye to When You Hit Your Forties

Bye-Bye,

Laura

6 Life Truths Your Mom Told You, But You Didn’t Want to Listen

It’s a true sign of motherhood: Kids think they know best. Mothers sit and think, “Wait ’til he or she finds out I was right.”

It’s not that the older generation is infinitely correct in all situations of course, but that as we get older, we live, we learn, we love, we hurt and then, we go on to share it with our kids who either choose to listen or vehemently oppose us. There are certain life truths especially, that seem to be the duty of mothers to share with our children for their own good, if they would just take a second to think about it. But just as we are supposed to pass on our wisdom, our children are meant to test their worlds and discover the truth for themselves, even if it ends up hurting them. That’s the hardest part about being a parent, isn’t it? And the hardest part about avoiding listening to our moms, when we really should have!

Read More: 6 Life Truths Your Mom Told You, But You Didn’t Want to Listen

Listen Up!

Laura

5 Ways Giving Up Can Be A Sign of Strength

One of the first things we tell our children is to “not give up!” So, we hold the same value for ourselves: giving up is a sign of weakness and persisting is a sign of strength and character.

Overall that is a true statement: Persisting and believing in our dreams and goals are positive ways to be! However, sometimes persisting on and on is actually a bad thing. Sometimes, giving up is a sign of strength and an acknowledgment that something you are doing or “persisting at” is not healthy or helpful for you. Throwing in the towel can require more strength sometimes, than to keep on the same path that you’ve been treading forever.

  1. GIVING UP REQUIRES THE STRENGTH WHEN YOU KNOW THE UNRAVELING WON’T BE EASY

     

    Maybe it’s getting a divorce. Maybe it’s leaving your job and finding something new. Maybe it’s cutting off a bad familial relationship. Whatever the case, sometimes giving up is harder and requires more mental strength simply because we know that while giving up the situation is best for us, it will be a tough path to get to where we need to be. For example, with divorce, we know the end result is best for us and our children, but just knowing how tough the process can be getting to that happy new place, is hard to face. So, when you are giving up on something that perhaps you once put a lot of effort and love into, like a marriage, remind yourself that you are not weak: giving up requires strength.

Read More: 5 Ways Giving Up Can Be A Sign of Strength

Let go,

Laura

When Life Gives You Lemons, Tell Life F U And Laugh

Life loves to hand out lemons. Whether you’re rich or poor, young or old, male or female or whatever you choose to identify as, I can guarantee you that life will send some lemons your way, for sure.

And let’s be real: when you’ve gone through a divorce you sort of feel as if you took the whole friggin’ lemon in your mouth and drank sour juice for months on end. Even in the best of divorce situations, we’ve all had a bit of sour taste in our mouth and it’s easy to be depressed and discouraged with puckered lips to boot.

With a show of hands, how many of you have simply felt like you couldn’t handle another thing life handed you? How many of you have felt like it’s never going to get better? Like life is raining little tiny sh*t balls all over you? Feeling like you’re walking around the corner, getting slimed by your worst enemies every day?

Read More: When Life Gives You Lemons, Tell Life F U And Laugh

Adjust Your Crown & Keep Walking,

Laura

The Places I Go To Cope With Tough Times

We all have tough times in which we feel as if we will never resurface to the other “peaceful” and happy side. We all have times in which the hits seem to keep coming and the hell seems never-ending. It is hard to summon hope and sustain a positive outlook in the middle of strife, stress, and disappointment. Keeping your thoughts positive when you’re basically sitting in the middle of a metaphorical pile of crap isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.

At some point, when you’re feeling stressed, you need to take matters into your own hands and find ways to shut out the madness and bask in some quiet time and peace.
For me, I have a few places that I turn to for stress relief, peace and quiet and a break from reality. As a single parent whose job is to provide emotional and financial stability for my daughter, I feel it is in my job title to maintain my own emotional health. Ultimately, as parents we need to teach our kids how to cope with emotions and tough times, so never, ever, ever feel selfish for taking care of yourself. Like the old airplane adage, if you don’t have your emergency mask on, how can you put your child/children’s mask/s on?

Here are my go-to places when I need “Serenity Now…”

Read More: The Places I Go To Cope With Tough Times 

Finding Peace,

Laura

4 Reasons Not Giving A F*** Has Made Me Happier

There’s this popular book out there called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Mansonthat is on everyone’s lips, and it’s not just because of the provocative title.

It’s the reality that so many of us care about everything—what people think. How we stack up to other people. How we handle tough times. How we manage stress. We care, care and care so hard and often, we are left depleted by caring and fretting over stuff that we cannot change.

While I haven’t read this book, my first thought was how it was interesting a man wrote this. I say this only because women seem to care so much more about what others think than men do, albeit I’ve done no scientific research to back up that fact.

I can just say with my own honesty that I’ve spent a lot of time in my life caring and giving so many f*cks and often about people and things that I shouldn’t have blinked twice about that it is a vital life lesson to learn not to give an F.

It’s hard. I am sensitive. I am emotional and passionate. I love people. I like people to like me. But as I’ve gotten older, I have learned how important it is to stop caring about what I cannot change and not worry about what others think about me as much.

Read More: 4 Reasons Not Giving A F*** Has Made Me Happier

Not Giving One F,

Laura

6 Things That Keep You From Moving On

Are you separated? Newly-divorced? Struggling to find some happiness and a life of peace and joy? There are certain things that will hold you back from having the life you want. Some of these things you may not even realize are impacting you, whereas others may be more obvious.

If you’re not as happy as you hoped you would be, here are some potential things keeping you down and preventing your progress.

1. NOT FINALIZING YOUR DIVORCE

Stalling your divorce is not going to help you. Hanging onto the marriage and drawing out the separation is only going to impede your progress. Of course, you don’t want to rush a divorce agreement, but stalling or thinking that making it legal doesn’t matter, is a bad move.

It will keep you from cutting ties and starting afresh.

Read More: 6 Things That Keep You From Moving On 

Move On, Friend,

Laura