Why You’re Avoiding the ONE Thing You Really Need

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Photo by madison lavern on Unsplash

The one thing I really, really, really needed to do was meditation.

Not just here and there, but daily. I needed it to help me with anxiety and channel my focus. While I am a disciplined and focused person, I am an anxious person– and time and again, it would be suggested to me to try meditation.

I resisted. And resisted. The few times I had tried it before, it felt like torture. Two minutes felt like two thousand.

Besides, I already worked out, danced and tried to take some “me” time to unwind. Wasn’t that enough?

No. It wasn’t.

So I did something different for a change:

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3 Ways to Deal With Disappointment

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It is really hard when someone or something disappoints us.

When we put our best effort or hopes into anything or anyone, be it a relationship, a new job or a new venture, if it doesn’t work out or things don’t go as planned, it can be difficult to pick up the pieces and start over. Or, forgive and forget and forge ahead. Or even further still, not let the pain get in the way of our own growth.

Everyone feels disappointed now and then. For some of us, disappointment may seem to literally come and come and come– without ceasing to end for a while– but it always does go away.

How we deal with these disappointments are key to how we grow from them.

Here are 3 healthy ways to cope with disappointment:

Take Time Alone to Think

Taking some time on your own to reflect and consider how this disappointment played out is helpful.

Consider:

  • If your expectations were fair
  • If you put your best effort in
  • If there was a way you may have contributed to the situation
  • If there is anything you could do to feel better and heal

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6 Things to Remember That Will Give You Hope In Love & Life

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Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Sometimes all feels lost, but nothing is ever “all lost.”

There is always a star shining through the darkness. A bit of hope when you feel hopeless.

Hope always exists– if you find it. There is always joy to be found in each day– even when it feels as if life has you in a chokehold.

These X things remind me that there is always something to look forward to, around the bend:

Everything ends eventually

Even a wonderful marriage ends– in death. Even a great friendship ends– the same way.

Everything ends, eventually– good or bad. Remember that the bad times can’t endure forever. Everything shifts and changes. Hold on to your reins and keep riding because eventually, you will have outrode the storm.

Even if you’re single– someone exists for you

There is someone out there for you. Someone who will appreciate and care about you.

You may not know this person yet, but this person exists. All you need is an open heart and mind.

Loneliness is temporary.

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Watching Your Parents Grow Old Is The Hardest Thing Ever

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Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash

My grandparents died before I turned 2. I didn’t have the lucky privilege of having them around. So. watching my parents grow older is the first time I’ve truly seen people I love … grow old.

Recently, my mom fell and got emergency hip replacement surgery. Seeing her in extreme pain was horrible. Worrying about her recovery now– although she is improving– is hard.

No one warned me how hard it would be to watch your strong capable parents grow into more vulnerable people.

No one told me how hard it would be to sit and stroke your mom’s hair as if she were a child. Not the other way around.

Between work and caring for my daughter full-time, trying to get to my mom as much as possible has been challenging.

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How to Deal When People You Care About Make Bad Choices

 

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Photo by trail on Unsplash

When dealing with someone who is resistant to what you want, no matter what it is, it’s important to just let it go and let the person “come” to the decision (or not) in his or her own time.

Whether it’s to be a good parent, be a committed loving partner, be healthier, be a helpful friend or simply make good choices for him or herself, it’s difficult to sit back and watch someone be “stuck” in his or her way of thinking.

For example:

-Your friend wants to keep dating an abusive guy– you wish for her to be free.

-Your love interest is amazing and the two of you click– but she is resistant to committing.

-Your co-parent is absent from your kids’ lives, and you want him to be available.

Your family member is sick and not caring for his health– and you’re worried for him.

What’s the common factor in these scenarios?

You want someone to do something, yet the person is resisting what you want.

It’s frustrating as hell, watching someone hurt him/herself or making a choice that’s keeping the person from being happy in the long run.

The hardest part in all of this is accepting that you can’t change your loved ones or people that matter to those you love.

So, what can you do?

When it comes down to it– give them what they want!

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What Are Your Real Priorities? Check Yourself (& Others)

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Priorities. We all have priorities in our life. When people tell me they’re too busy, I secretly add in my head “because it’s not important.” When people decide something is important, they do it.

The same goes for you. If someone decides you are important, he or she will commit to you. The person will make time for you. The person will want to be with you. The person will have no lame excuses  as to why he or she isn’t available.

The same goes for “things.” If being healthy is important, people will make time to be healthy. If being kind is important, people will be kind.

Actions delineate priorities. This makes it easy to see who really cares about you.

People who would rather be with you then be with many partners or alone, care about you.

People who say they’d rather be alone or with many people, don’t give a flying f*ck about you.

Friends who show up when you need help, care.

Friends who reach out and want to connect with you, care.

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11 Things I Learned About Life & Love in 2019

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Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash

There is only one week left in 2019, and what a year it has been! It ended a little crazy– but also, with many things to look forward to. Simply put, if you can’t take lessons from your year then what good is it to celebrate a new one?

Here are 11 things I learned in 2019– and will never forget.

Standing up for yourself is never a bad thing

It’s not always easy to speak out when someone does something wrong, but it is necessary.

As a mom, I am a role model for my kid. If I allow bad treatment to happen or sit back and do nothing when I could make a positive difference, that’s not setting the right tone.

Breathe–your journey is not going to be the same as others

Your timeline will be very unique from everyone else’s. Even when it seems like everyone else on the planet has done something or hit a life goal in the same linear fashion, and you haven”t.

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6 Things to Consider Before Moving

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Photo by Erda Estremera on Unsplash

Making a move can be very scary. It can be hard to make the change, especially if you thought your current home would be a forever place or circumstances like divorce, breaking up or a job change force you into a move.

And if you’re on the fence about a move and mulling it over, pulling the trigger can also be hard. Here are some things to consider when debating to move … or not.

Will it Further Your Career in a Significant Way?

If moving will elevate you to the next level, do it! These opportunities only come around once in a lifetime.  You may not have the same opportunity again.

This is especially key if it will lift your salary in a big way.

Will it Help You Heal?

If you move, will you heal a divorce or break-up?

Or will you be just as sad or hurting if you leave?

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Will You Be Remembered as a Good Person?

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“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”– Maya Angelou

On a daily basis, we do “things.” Some of these things are mistakes or bad choices. Some of these things are good choices and decisions. We interact with so many people on a daily basis, leaving powerful impressions behind on each person we speak to or even just look at!

How are we making these people feel? Are we leaving impressions of goodness or are we leaving them feeling annoyed, angry, hurt or disgusted?

And on a greater scale–when our time on this planet is done, how will you have left the people you loved behind? Will you have left them with good, positive feelings? Will you have left them remembering all the negative ways you made them feel? Will they remember you as a loving person who made them feel cared for?

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When Nothing Gets Easier & Everything Gets Harder, Even The Strong Need Support

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Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

One of the hardest things about being the youngest of four kids with a large age gap between me and the other 3 kids, is that my parents are older and unable to support me and be there for me in the way I wish they could. I understand why they can’t though, especially with my mom’s health issues, but it is still hard. They root for me on the sidelines, but because they are dealing with a lot– I cannot at their age ask for too much. In fact, I try to give instead of take when it comes to them. They paid their dues in their eighties to be helped instead of burdened.

Still, it makes it really challenging– especially when going through a very hard situation knowing that they can’t physically be there for me.

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