6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Very shortly, it will be 3 years since my divorce date and over 5 years since I have been separated from my ex-husband. As it gets close to that date each year which also is right next to our wedding anniversary ironically, I always reflect on the trials, wins, and growth I’ve made in that time. In some ways, I always find myself a bit short of where I want to be, and in other ways, I always find that I’ve surpassed my expectations. Now that it’s almost three years out, here’s what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed.

1. DOING THE RIGHT THING ALWAYS PAYS OFF

There were many times when it came to my ex or things involving him where friends would say I was “too nice” or going out of my way.
This isn’t to say that I always did the right thing each time, but that overall, I usually tried to do the right thing.

I think it’s paid off. I think my daughter has learned a lot from my example, and I think it has helped bridge the gap and heal relationships between myself and my ex’s family. I think it’s helped to ensure that my daughter has a relationship with them as well. I even see some positive changes between my ex and me, so I’ll take them.

Read More: 6 Lessons Learned After Being Divorced for Three Years

Learning & Growing,

Laura

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I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Ever since I was little, I have always had a strong personality and Type A ways. Not extremely Type A, like ironing my curtains or heading up every PTO class, but Type A as in as a child, I secretly (and quietly in my head) hated when people put my toys back in the wrong spot and as an adult, I am very organized and rely on to-do lists, reminders and documents to keep me on track and progressing.

In my life, this has benefited me in many ways. I managed my life as a comedian and actress for a long time because of this. I excelled in college due to my personality traits. And as a single mom, I have picked myself up and dusted myself off with my guts, determination, organizational skills, and direction. This has helped me infinitely in terms of adjusting to life with just me and my little one.

Read More: I’m a Type A: Here’s What I Could Learn From Type B’s

Always Learning,

Laura

6 Lessons Learned on My Three-Year Divorce Anniversary

Very shortly, it will be 3 years since my divorce date and over 5 years since I have been separated from my ex-husband. As it gets close to that date each year which also is right next to our wedding anniversary ironically, I always reflect on the trials, wins, and growth I’ve made in that time. In some ways, I always find myself a bit short of where I want to be, and in other ways, I always find that I’ve surpassed my expectations. Now that it’s almost three years out, here’s what I’ve learned, where I’ve been, and where I’m headed.

1. DOING THE RIGHT THING ALWAYS PAYS OFF

There were many times when it came to my ex or things involving him where friends would say I was “too nice” or going out of my way.
This isn’t to say that I always did the right thing each time, but that overall, I usually tried to do the right thing.

Read More: 6 Lessons Learned on My Three-Year Divorce Anniversary

Growing,

Laura

How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

We can all look back and feel regret or pain over mistakes or choices we have made. No one is perfect. Life is a journey and on our journey, we take wrong turns and make bad moves. If we knew everything already, we most likely wouldn’t need to be here. We’ve all felt regret and wanted to kick ourselves over things we’ve done. This is normal.

When it becomes unhealthy is when we dwell, living in the fear of our mistakes lurking behind us like shadows. When we can’t forgive ourselves and move forward. When we continue to judge ourselves in the present and future for actions that are left in the past, that is unhealthy. We need to be able to wave goodbye to the choices of the past and move ahead towards the future without yoking ourselves too intimately to our pasts. As long as we are not repeating the same choices, why should we continue to beat ourselves up, sentencing ourselves to misery?

Read More: How to Embrace Your Past & Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes

Heal,

Laura

10 Sayings Every Strong Woman in Her 40’s Should Embrace

There comes a time in your life as a woman when you embrace every last quirk you have, flaunt your strengths and accept your weaknesses like a queen meeting her subjects.

That time is 40.

It’s not that you are cocky or “better-than.” It’s just that as a strong independent 40-year-old woman you own who you truly are with no apologies. And if you are guilty of apologizing too much, (hands up—that’s me!) you know this is your issue, and you own your issues. Your baggage is baggage, but it’s yours and wholly-owned.

I wish so much I could go back to my twenty-something year-old self and shake her. Have a talk with her. A stern talking to. . .

With my thirty-year-old self, I’d do the same thing, but with a little more finesse. I was more polished at 30 than 20, obviously.

For all of you ladies stepping into or currently owning your forties, you’ll find that these quotes or sayings will resonate with you. When you’re feeling not so strong or need a pick-me-up or a reminder of how great you are, read these.

Read More: 10 Sayings Every Strong Woman in Her 40’s Should Embrace

Work It,

Laura

 

Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

I found out through a text from a friend of mine that a high school bully of mine was dead: “Did you hear? She died. She went to our high school. It’s really sad.”

I didn’t say anything at first. Empathetic, warm-hearted me hesitated before answering. I didn’t want to sound like a total insensitive jerk. I knew my friend knew this old bully of mine but I wasn’t sure how friendly they had been, especially after years of trying to learn how to deal with bullies and protect myself. Plus, some of my thoughts didn’t align with who I am inside — a good person with a big heart.

But even good people with big hearts can decide they’ve had enough of toxic people’s garbage, especially when it comes to the past and bullying in schools. They don’t want to forgive someone all that easily when they’ve been done completely wrong.

Read More: Real Thoughts I Had When My Teenage Bully Died

Forgive & Heal,

Laura

5 Behaviors to Shed in the New Year for a Happier Loving Life

New Year, new you?

Well, not if you do the same old stuff you did last year. And so many of us, seem to make the same mistakes repeatedly simply because certain behaviors that were learned or perhaps genetic, have become a habit.

But that doesn’t have to be you. A new year is a shiny new shot at rewriting your story. Remember those “Choose Your Own Adventures” books? If you turned to page 25, you might end up trapped. If you turned to page 50, you might end up a wealthy tycoon … or something like that.

Consider this New Year a chance to “choose your own adventure” by rewriting yourself. Take an honest look at yourself and what worked and what didn’t work for you in 2018. Decide to avoid those pesky traps by shedding old behaviors and replacing them with better attitudes and habits that will bring you joy in 2019. You can’t change every single aspect of yourself or your life, but you can turn the wheel in another direction, or head to page 50 instead of page 25 to change your life this coming year.
Here are a few behaviors to kiss goodbye to and leave in the past as you head into the future on January 1, 2019 …

Read More: 5 Behaviors to Shed in the New Year for a Happier Loving Life

Happy New Year!

Laura

10 New Year’s Resolutions Every Working Mom 40 and Over Needs to Make

There comes a time in your life when certain behaviors, thoughts or expectations of yourself are no longer valid. At some point, we all tell ourselves, “I’m getting too old for this garbage.”

Forty is that age.

I remember thinking 40-year-olds were pretty much crypt-keepers when I was a kid, but our 40s are different than our mothers’ 40s. I’m not sure what exactly my mom thought when she hit 4-0, but I know for so many of my friends, we found ourselves wondering: What’s next? What haven’t I done yet that I’ve been wanting to do? What and who in my life needs to go at this point? What do I still have to figure out?

In other words, it’s the “I’m going for it” decade. Our forward motion is propelled by the confidence we gained from growing ourselves in our 20s and 30s. With that said, the New Year is almost here. What should we feisty 40-something working moms embrace as our New Year resolutions to make 2019 a kick-ass-and-take-names type of year? Here’s what I suggest:

Read More: 10 New Year’s Resolutions Every Working Mom 40 and Over Needs to Make

Resolving,

Laura

5 People to Say Goodbye to When You Hit Your Forties

In your twenties, you get to know people outside of your home and community. You get a feel for the world and what society is like. You have usually a diverse group of friends or at least acquaintances, and you’ve got more time to mingle. When you hit your thirties, you’ve solidified much of your core social group or if not, you’re about to do just that. You’re letting your social circle get smaller and at the same time if you get married and or have children, your circle also changes. This change is major. Your social circle is tight and if it’s not that’s a big issue.

To be frank, as a woman, if you don’t have at least one great girlfriend you can count on in your thirties, I implore you to get out there and make one—now!

You are missing out. Sure, guy friends are nice, but truly… a woman needs a few amazing girlfriends, always.

Okay, now that I’ve emphasized the importance of having great girlfriends, what happens to your social circle when you hit your forties?

Read More: 5 People to Say Goodbye to When You Hit Your Forties

Bye-Bye,

Laura

6 Life Truths Your Mom Told You, But You Didn’t Want to Listen

It’s a true sign of motherhood: Kids think they know best. Mothers sit and think, “Wait ’til he or she finds out I was right.”

It’s not that the older generation is infinitely correct in all situations of course, but that as we get older, we live, we learn, we love, we hurt and then, we go on to share it with our kids who either choose to listen or vehemently oppose us. There are certain life truths especially, that seem to be the duty of mothers to share with our children for their own good, if they would just take a second to think about it. But just as we are supposed to pass on our wisdom, our children are meant to test their worlds and discover the truth for themselves, even if it ends up hurting them. That’s the hardest part about being a parent, isn’t it? And the hardest part about avoiding listening to our moms, when we really should have!

Read More: 6 Life Truths Your Mom Told You, But You Didn’t Want to Listen

Listen Up!

Laura