Someone Who Deserves You

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https://unsplash.com/@chermitovee

Someone who deserves you …

Feels honored to be by your side.
Is proud of you.
Loves showing you off to friends and family and the world.

Shows you deep respect and care.

Is kind to you.

Wants to spend time with you and not just for his or her own needs.

Expresses love to you.

Works on him or herself to be the best person he or she can be— not just for you, but for themselves as well.

Doesn’t take you for granted.

Wants you to stick around.

Can’t imagine life without you.

Appreciates you and attempts to understand you.

Listens to you.

Makes the effort to be available to you.

❤️
Laura

They’re Taking & You’re Giving: Stop Doing All The Work in the Relationship

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Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

If you feel like you’re carrying all the weight in your relationship, guess what?

You probably are!

Why should you do all the work, give and give and give, while someone else takes and does relatively little?

If this is you– doing all the heavy lifting to keep your relationship running– STOP.

Successful relationships require two people working together. If you’re the one offering yourself up all the time and killing yourself to keep it going while the other person makes zero to little effort, you’re doing it all wrong.

No one should be doing all the giving, loving, sweating and heavy work of the relationship alone.

No one should be taking whatever is given to him or her, while doing nothing or, not much at all.

There will always be times when your relationship will not be equal. One person will do more giving and the other, more taking, but this shouldn’t be a constant. If it is, stop giving and start demanding more of the person you are with. You deserve to take as much as you give.

Much Love,

Laura

It’s Easy to Be Physical But Not So Easy to Love

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Anyone can have a fun physical connection with someone else. Anyone can buy a gift. Send a gift card. Anyone can have a quick cuddle fest or Netflix and “chill.”

But it’s not so easy to love. To be there for someone. To make them feel special. To really get to know them. To include the person in their daily life.

If you’re “seeing” someone and wondering where the relationship lies, just ask yourself these questions and you’ll find that it’s pretty easy to see how much you really matter to someone:

  1.  Is the person trying to get physical with you or getting physical with you, but hasn’t asked you on a date or included you in his/her hangouts with friends? If you answered yes, this person is taking the easy way out– and you don’t matter to him/her.
  2. Is the person available for you physically, but not emotionally? If this is a yes, this person isn’t invested in you beyond casual interactions.

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Someone Who Values You Vs. Someone Who Can’t Take You Out to Dinner

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One of the most important life lessons is to know how valuable you are. Because if you know you are valuable, you will never settle for anyone that makes you feel less then.
It’s taken me a lot longer than most people to realize I am a valuable and worthy person. I’m going to admit right off the bat that it’s very difficult for me sometimes to have any confidence and faith that I am really and truly deserving.

Because I have struggled, I have also learned the difference between somebody who values me and someone who doesn’t. So I’m hoping that sharing this will help others to not make the same mistakes I did. And if you have settled in the past or accepted  less than what you’re worth, don’t feel bad. You’re not alone and just know that every day is a new opportunity to try again and ask more of others and not settle.

 

Can’t Wait to See You Vs. Can’t Take You to Dinner

Oh yes. I’ve been there when the guy can’t even make an effort to take you out. When they have every excuse in the book. That’s not someone who values you. Someone who really values you can’t wait to see you. They’re  so excited and they look forward to getting to know you better.

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When Someone Wastes Your Time

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https://unsplash.com/@jontyson

There is nothing more frustrating when someone wastes your time while you put all your effort and energy into them. My last relationship the person was not as invested as I was. I put in 150% of my heart and time and the other person put in about 30%. I felt as if I did all the heavy lifting while this person had a walk-on role in our relationship. I guess the relationship didn’t matter to this person at all because as we all know, effort = how much someone cares.

The frustration I felt doing everything while the other person sat back and did the minimum, bothers me to no end.

How hurtful can someone be to watch someone else bust his or her butt to get the relationship going while he or she does barely anything?

After going through that, I realize I will never be dumb again.  I gave too much of myself to someone who didn’t appreciate me and took me for granted.

Don’t Do All the Work!!
Laura

 

 

 

A Prayer For The Hopeless

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As I lay down to sleep, I don’t.

Sleep that is.

Some days, like this one, the pain is unbearable. I pray the Lord— the universe— the spirit— my soul to take and heal.

Although I believe it is not possible.

I’m grieving a great many things. The loss of someone who once was so much to me but is unhealthy and unable to be the same person to me or the people who love her. The loss of another person who didn’t live up to the contract he signed to our child. The loss of someone who was supposed to be working for my best interest. The loss of someone else who did not support me or care about me or want to be there. Abandonment a better word.

If I die before I wake Lord, take away the COVID. Life is so difficult for everyone. Seeing my child be isolated and seeing others so isolated. Being isolated myself. Being unable to see my elderly parents regularly. The constant arguing between people. Who is right and who is wrong. What is right? What is wrong?

Nothing feels safe or secure. It feels like I can rely on no one. No one and nothing is reliable besides myself. Forget my mortality it is also my sanity I question lasting.

As I lay myself down to sleep, I have a child growing at remarkable speeds. I wasn’t supposed to raise her alone. I wasn’t supposed to many things.

How much more I wonder, can I endure? Can we all endure?

Take my soul and heal it. I am not sure how much is left in me and all of us.

Amen,

L

 

 

How She’s Using You

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https://unsplash.com/@kellysikkema

Selfish and thoughtless, the woman who uses is just as bad as the bad boy who does it,too. Whether she’s seeing a woman or man, this ruthless creature cares about just herself.

She Uses You to Get The Job Done

She wants favors done, but can’t be bothered to spend real time with you or go on dates. You’ve never met her friends or family. You’re just around her when she needs something.

 

She Uses You to Boost Her Ego

Like the selfish man, she needs an ego boost so she hangs out with you when bored or needs to feel wanted. She doesn’t get close to you and is totally inconsistent. She is just bored and needs to feel pretty!

She Uses You For Insider Advice, Your Friends or Money

Does she commit to you, or is she committed to getting something from you, like money or advice? Is she interested in anything about you really? Or more interested in an end goal?

Selfish and heartless, the men and women who are users just really are careless creatures with no heart.

Don’t Fall For Her Garbage,

Laura

 

This Man or Woman Doesn’t Care, So Don’t Waste Your Time

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https://unsplash.com/@louishansel

Avoid these types of men or women or whatever gender, to date because otherwise, you will waste time on someone who never cared about you in the first place. From my own experiences to my friends’ experiences, be wise:

Avoid Dating Someone Who Wants to Change Your Views or Religion

Someone who is never happy with your views or ways of worship or spirituality is going to be tough down the line. It’s ok if the person wants you to open up a bit to his or her way of thinking, but not if the person is trying to change you. This will end up a total nightmare for you where you’ll never feel accepted and loved. You will always feel out of the loop and not validated.

Avoid Dating Someone Who Won’t Commit and Has a Load of Excuses Why

Don’t date the man or woman who won’t commit and yet, likes you enough to sleep with you sometimes or see you sometimes. Why? Because he or she will be around. SOMETIMES. On his or her terms and when that person feels up to it. They’ll say they care about you but then their words are never backed up. They will always disappoint you because they don’t care about you or want you enough to change. Guess who will be left crying? You and not them.  This person doesn’t care about you at all. If he can’t introduce you to friends or she won’t move the relationship forward, then that person is just messing with your heart and wasting time. You’re not good enough for them in their eyes, so move it along before you regret it.

Avoid Dating the Money Hungry or Demanding Who Doesn’t Appreciate Anything

Time and again I’ve seen friends suffer over the person who always wants more and is never happy. They feel like they don’t do enough yet it’s really the greedy person who is the problem. If someone is constantly demanding you do more and never happy with you, or constantly wants you to spend money— that person is impossible. Don’t bother!

Trust Me,

L

Why She’s Done

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https://unsplash.com/@all_who_wander

You kept saying no. You weren’t available. You were busy. You had to work. You weren’t ready. You didn’t want to do it. You couldn’t do it. You didn’t want her. You didn’t want it. It’s not what you want.

All this time that’s all you said while she

Tried hard. Kept being available. Kept saying yes. Wasn’t too busy for you. Wanted to do it. Could do it. Wanted you.

You didn’t care. You didn’t appreciate her at all. You didn’t want her.

Finally, she got tired of your no’s. Tired of your unavailability. Tired of being alone while you did whatever you felt like as long as it wasn’t being available and loving her.

She took the weight of your no’s and the weight of your unavailability and held it as long as she could but eventually, she grew tired of it. Tired of you.

And eventually, she was done and gone.
And the only person to blame is yourself for your no’s, your lack of availability. Your position.

Check Mate,

Laura

 

 

 

When Your Partner Misses Free Time, Birthdays, Milestones & More

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Photo by Sofiya Levchenko on Unsplash

It’s your birthday and your partner is working late. Again.

You have a free weekend after being so busy with the kids and work and your partner has something to do. Again.

You need a ride to the doctor’s for a procedure. Your partner is busy, unavailable or what have you. Again.

You want to see a show (back when concerts were allowed) or attend a party (same!), but your partner is busy, doesn’t feel like going or has something better to do. Again.

It gets lonely when the one person you love so much never shows up for you to celebrate with you or spend significant time together.

It eats away at your feelings and trust for your partner. You start to feel more alone by the minute and depressed.

It’s happened to me where I’ve felt so isolated and alone despite  having someone around who “supposedly” cared about me.

It felt like a party for one constantly. Never there for me. Me doing everything alone constantly or with friends without him. Me feeling unloved constantly.  Me feeling like maybe it was me. Maybe I wasn’t worth spending time with or maybe I wasn’t any good. Maybe I was not worth loving. Maybe I had nothing to offer.

I started to get used to being alone and lived my life without him to the fullest, but it always hurt and always felt like an insult to my character.  I got used to the constant disappointment.

People wondered why I was always alone. I couldn’t explain it but it hurt like the worst hell.

If someone leaves you to attend the party of your life alone, leave him or her now.

You deserve to eat cake for two. You shouldn’t be spending parties, weekends and milestones alone. You shouldn’t be in a relationship or marriage feeling lonely all the time. You should have a partner who looks forward to being with you and makes time for you.

Lovingly,

Laura