In marriage, marriage advice, Uncategorized on April 12, 2017 at 11:28 am
As someone who was once married and now isn’t, I can say that even though I believe there was nothing that could have possibly saved my former marriage, I still think there are things I learned about marriage that I will carry with me to the next relationship. What good is life if you can’t learn lessons from it? Well, my marriage taught me a lot about me, a lot about what I want from someone, and a lot about what I need from someone (and have to give) in order to have a happy marriage the next go-round. Here are 10 marriage tips from an ex-spouse who has been there and done that.
1- Choose your words carefully . . . saying harsh words will only tear apart the marriage.
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Choose Your Battles Wisely,
In marriage, marriage advice on April 12, 2017 at 11:26 am
Saying the right thing can mean a world of difference in a marriage, just as saying the wrong thing can, too. A genuine compliment to make a wife feel loved and special can go miles to make a relationship all the better! Here are 10 compliments your wife would love to hear.
1- I love how strong you are — and how determined you are to reach your goals.”
View this article on PopSugar!
And Yes, You’re Gorgeous!
In marriage, marriage advice, Uncategorized on January 27, 2017 at 3:58 pm
Affairs aren’t the only sign that there is clear trouble in a marriage. Some signs of trouble in a marriage are very obvious and others more subtle. Sometimes, others can see the trouble from the outside in before a couple can, and in some circumstances, the trouble is only prevalent to the couple; those haunting difficulties they share in private.
Read on to learn for nine signs that there’s big trouble in little China, i.e. your marriage, other than blatant affairs.
1. Consumed With Social Media
If your partner is chained to Facebook, it may be because the boy’s got a serious flirtation going on with an ex . . . or he’s hunting for old girlfriends.
If you’re the party whose nose is fixated on the news feeds, you may be doing the exact same thing. Tuning into social and tuning out your partner is a big fat sign your marriage is in deep dog doo-doo or the two of you are just negligent partners.
Read More: 9 Signs Besides an Affair That Your Marriage Is in Trouble
Deep, Deep Trouble,
In marriage, marriage advice, sex on January 26, 2017 at 2:50 am
If YOU won’t wear lingerie for your husband, who will?
I was at a mom’s event listening to all the woman chatter. One mom told me how she loved her yoga pants.
“I live in them,” she said.
“They’re comfortable,” I offered.
“My husband says I wear them too much. He complained. He asked if I would buy some sexy lingerie. He wants me to wear lingerie for him rather than these.”
She pointed down to her yoga pants and continued on, “I’m NOT wearing lingerie for him.” She snorted, chuckling like it was the most insane request a husband could make for a wife.
Before walking away I told her, “I think you should. I’m sure you’ll look great.”
Because if she’s not wearing lingerie for him, who is she wearing it for? And if she’s not wearing lingerie for him, who will instead?
Isn’t your husband the one person you should wear lingerie for? I mean, it’s OK to have your hot fantasies about that random guy at the gym or your old boyfriend from college, but shouldn’t this woman — shouldn’t every woman — want to wear lingerie for their husbands?
Read More: Dear Lazy Wives: Lose The Yoga Pants And Wear The DAMN Lingerie
In marriage, marriage advice on January 19, 2017 at 2:41 am
If you asked me what the secret is to keeping people married, I would tell you there is “no secret.” I think that there are simple and logical things couples can do to avoid heading for divorce court. I also believe that if you don’t want to get a divorce, try to marry smartly. One of the things I didn’t do was marry smartly. There were red flags and questions about compatibility from the beginning, but at the same time I was in love and rather naïve to long-term relationships. The beautiful gift I got in the end was a gorgeous and healthy daughter. But there are things you can do divorce-proof your marriage as much as possible, and at the very least know no matter what that you tried your best as a wife for your marriage — always.
1. Be Separate
Give your partner some space. Constantly making your partner “ask for permission” to do things makes your spouse feel as if you’re a parent, not a partner. Let your partner have freedom to be, but not so much that your poor spouse wonders if you even like him or her.
2. Agree to Disagree
On some topics if the two of you are constantly butting heads, ask yourself if it’s really worth it to you to battle. Sometimes you need to agree to disagree and then let it die. If you knew going into the marriage that your partner always does X, Y, or Z and it annoys you, accept it and stop the fight. Picking battles is crucial.
Read More: 10 Ways to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage
Do Your Best,
In marriage, marriage advice on August 6, 2016 at 2:08 am
Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?—I sort of feel like this is a loaded question. Asking if one single solitary act can save a marriage seems destined to fail from the get-go. The reality is there is no magic cure for an ailing marriage. And not only that, but also there is no one answer that suits all marriages. However with that said, counseling can do a great deal of things for an “on the rocks” marriage and the people involved in it.
It can most definitely:
- Help both parties deal with their issues on an individual basis. It’s not unusual for a couple to go to therapy together in couples’ therapy, and then see the same counselor or another separate counselor, on their own as individuals
- Create a dialogue about what issues exist in the marriage and if the two parties feel they are resolvable or not
- Assist a person in deciding, once the problems are “on the table” if he or she wants to work hard to save the marriage
Yes. That’s right. Work hard to save the marriage.
Read More: Can Counseling Save Your Marriage?
You Both Have to Want It,
In marriage, marriage advice, relationships on May 27, 2016 at 4:24 pm
Getting married? It’s an exciting time and one of the greatest joys in your life. You are about to start a brand-new chapter in your life that is like no other chapter you have experienced before. However, perhaps there are a few things on your mind that you are afraid to say or note to anyone. It’s not unusual to have second thoughts before getting married or “jitters,” but sometimes, those second thoughts are really our instincts trying to tell us something. That instinct may be trying to say, “Are you sure that marriage is the right thing to do with this particular person? Are you sure that this is a good relationship?”
Just because someone will offer you a ring does not mean that that person is the right person for you for the rest of eternity. Pay attention to your gut and listen: your instinct may be trying to tell you to watch those little red flags that are creeping up in your relationship. The bottom line? Breaking up is a thousand times easier than divorce, my friend. It takes minutes to get a marriage license. A divorce? That could take years.
Read More: 6 Red Flags You Must Pay Attention to Before Getting Married
It’s More Than a Ring,
In marriage, marriage advice, motherhood, parenthood on May 11, 2016 at 4:54 pm
The almighty mother-in-law. The one woman that is feared by all daughter-in-laws of the world. At least initially.
If you have the lucky fortune of being your MIL’s favorite daughter-in-law, congrats! You have achieved a status so many of us wish we could reach but sadly, never have or never do. If you have a difficult relationship with your MIL that either runs hot and cold or worse or is so brutal the two of you would fare well in a boxing ring, you’ll commiserate with these three harsh signs that your MIL wishes for your destruction.
Snubs Your Invites
Your mother-in-law would rather die, yes die, than go to a party, holiday, or any other occasion that the underling daughter-in-law is throwing. She somehow has to do her hair, feed the needy, raise money for the poor, and just about every other thing under the sun than attend a fete you’ve organized.
Read More: 3 Signs Your MIL Is Hell-Bent on Destroying You
Remember She’s Grandma & Act Accordingly,
In divorce, love, marriage, marriage advice on April 21, 2016 at 1:58 pm
You’ve grown tired of your wife‘s sh*t, you say. Why doesn’t she do X, Y or Z more? Why does she nag you? Why does she leave the laundry for you to fold? Why doesn’t she wear more lingerie? Why does she breathe funny?
You can’t help yourself it seems. Everything your wife does annoys the living hell out of you. You look at your friends and their marriages. They seem so happy. Your one friend? His wife is so hot. She looks like she would be wild in bed, even when the kids are awake.
Your other friend? His wife is so sweet. I bet she never talks back, you think. You find yourself scrutinizing all the many “wives” in your path. They’re better. Hotter. Nicer. In all things and in all ways, your wife fails.
Read More: To The Man Who Stopped Appreciating His Wife
Criticism of Others is the Sign of True Internal Self-Hatred,
In dating, dating advice, love, marriage, relationships on March 15, 2016 at 7:53 pm
In case someone did not tell you today, most likely…you deserve better.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that you do.
I have seen so many women and men settle for crappy behavior from a partner.
In fact sadly more often than not, it seems like I am cringing when I hear about something a friend or loved one’s partner has done to the other person.
Recently, I met someone whose partner treated him terribly. It was obvious to me but seemed less obvious to him even though it was written on the wall in neon pink paint. It is hard for me as a straight-forward and passionate person to watch people hurt themselves or get hurt.
More still, I have been watching for years, a friend of mine get treated poorly by her partner, day in and day out. My stomach hurts thinking about the lack of love this person has experienced while she gives so much in return.
And ironically so as I write this, I must confess to being someone who has given others a lot and taken less than she deserves more often than not.
Maybe I am the only person that feels this way but when a loved one settles for less than he or she deserves, I have to speak up. Even if most likely, the person will go on and continue to tolerate disrespect, I have to say:
You Deserve Better.
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