4 Reasons to Stop Jumping Hoops for Someone Who Won’t Do The Same for You

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Photo by Álvaro Serrano on Unsplash

How many times have you tried to reach out and make a connection to someone you care about, whether a friend or romantic partner, only for the person to snub, avoid or deny your attempts?

If you’re the one who always makes the effort, while the other person sits and does nothing, this post is for you.

Here are 4 reasons to stop making those written (and verbal requests):

People Take For Granted What Is Easily There

It’s human to take people for granted now and then, but if you’ve been getting nowhere with a friend, colleague pr partner, don’t bother.

That person has gotten it easy: you’ve made all the effort and they’ve done well, nothing to change the scenario.

Stop being available to that person. He or she is taking you for granted as you’re “easily there” when needed.

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Someone Who Cares Will ALWAYS Be There For You in These 5 Situations

daan-stevens-yGUuMIqjIrU-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Daan Stevens on Unsplash

We all have times when we can’t be present for someone we love, but there are 5 situations where we should always be there for the person we care about, no matter what– unless we are sick or in an emergency situation.

Illness

My friend’s spouse was not there and present while my friend was sick with cancer.

To me, that’s unacceptable. If you care about someone, you are there for him/her through illness and pain.

Death

If your loved one has lost someone he or she loves, you should be there for them, even if there has been a fight. Helping someone through the grieving process is an act of love.

Legal or Family Matters

These situations can be tough to navigate, and so the person you care about needs a sympathetic ear or a shoulder to cry on.

Losing a Job

Losing a job is devastating and can be harder if the person was not expecting it or is financially unprepared for it. Being there for the person you care about will make the devastation not as bad.

Miscarriage, Infertility

Losing a child or realizing that having kids will either– a: not happen or b: be more difficult than someone had imagined is really hard.

If you care about the person, show up.

No matter what– show up for the person you care about.

To me, showing up is the greatest act of love someone can do for another person. We can’t solve our loved ones’ problems always or bring people back to life, but we can be there. That’s what matters most.

With Love To All Who Need It,

Laura

 

 

Is Your Love Interest or Partner More Than “Friends” With Someone Else?

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He says they’re “just friends.” She says they dated “ages ago,” but are now friends.

Okay– these statements can be totally true. I’ve stayed friends with people I have dated. I have friends of both sexes and all sorts of orientations. I mean, a lot of people have friends outside of their romantic relationship- without any sort of physical attraction or desire for these friends.

However,  sometimes, a friend may be more than a friend. Just consider the tale rapped by the great Biz Markie. On occasion, you may be wondering how truly friendly your love interest or partner is with someone. You’ve had doubts and despite the “just friend” response, you feel uneasy. Is the person being honest?

Here are some things to consider if you find yourself questioning if your love interest, partner or spouse might be more than friends with someone:

How committed is this person to you?

Is he or she a loving spouse or partner? Is he or she a very available and attentive love interest?

If the person is attentive, loving and available, your fears are probably not founded. Just paranoia.

If the person is not very attentive, loving or available, then you might have a problem.

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8 Ways to Say I Love You Without Really Saying It

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Saying “I love you” is certainly important and meaningful, but there are many ways to say those 3 words without really saying them. And why wouldn’t someone want to just say “I love you?”

There are many reasons:

  • It’s boring to just use the words constantly without backing them up with actions!
  • Someone might not be ready to say those words– and therefore, would rather show love instead of make a declaration.
  • Someone could love you but not really realize it yet.

Truly, showing someone you love them is the most important thing of all– above and beyond those 3 little words.

Here are ways you can show someone love, without having to speak a word.

Eliminating or Assisting With a Burden

Helping someone with work or a task that stresses the person out is a great way to show love.

Caring When You’re Sick

Got a sick partner or love interest? Caring or helping the person in some way is an act of love.

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Hurtful Behaviors That Keep You Up at Night From a Love Interest or Spouse

anthony-tran-i-ePv9Dxg7U-unsplashPhoto by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

You’re up late at night wondering and stressing over what you have done wrong to make a partner or love interest act differently. After a while, your self-esteem starts to tank. You start to wonder what you’re doing wrong or, why you’re not good enough. It becomes a late-night bashing party of one: you bashing yourself.

If your partner or love interest is doing the following things, you are probably having some sleepless nights wondering what’s going on, like why is your person of interest—

1. Running Hot and Cold?

Someone who wants to see you and then doesn’t want to see you, clearly has some issues.

However, most likely these issues reside with your love, and not you. Point out this person’s weird behaviors.

2. Withdrawing Affection and Acting Cold?

This person may simply not care about you at all. Coldness is a sure sign that the person is rejecting you or being hurtful or, is hurt themselves. Maybe you hurt this person’s feelings. Talk about it!

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Is He Using His Job as a Coping Method?

alejandro-escamilla-LF8gK8-HGSg-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Alejandro Escamilla on Unsplash

One of the things my friends have been commenting to me lately is that the men they love tend to bury themselves in their work.

Consider that phrase- bury themselves.

Literally, suffocate themselves and their feelings by giving themselves so much work that they’re not accessible to handle their relationships or other issues of the heart. They’re not around. They’re present, but absent.

As someone whose dad worked constantly, I could relate to their feelings.

When men are depressed, anxious or any other kind of troubling emotion, they “seem” to dive into their jobs, isolating themselves from others.

Society jokes about the “man-cave” and of course the newly minted, “she-shed,” but work can be a safe place for men to dive in and ignore their feelings. This really interesting article in Psychology Today talks about the ways in which men manage their emotions.

Typically, men compartmentalize and shut out their feelings at work. So, it’s not unusual to me when people start commenting that their husbands are working too much, or that their partners are coming home late, only to find that the man in consideration is struggling with his feelings.

So, if you start to notice these signs, it’s possible that your favorite man is burying his feelings at the office or place of work.

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How to Make Your Partner’s Bad Day Better

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Photo by Abo Ngalonkulu on Unsplash

Is your love interest or partner/spouse having a bad day? How can you help, if at all?

You can do a lot to make your person’s day better. Of course, a lot depends on the person and his or her coping style, but here are some great ideas– steps to take, when your loved one has had a rough day.

For me, a York Peppermint Patty or Godiva doesn’t hurt. Not to mention a massage!

However, everyone is different:

  • Lend an ear: Some people just need to talk out their bad day. Give your lover an ear or two …
  • Give some space: Some people need to be alone to grumble a bit, think or just be alone. Sometimes the act of giving space is a very kind one.

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The 4 Keys to a Great Sexual Relationship: Frequency, Type & More

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

If you want a great sexual relationship with someone, you’ve got to agree on 4 different things:

  • Frequency– how often you do it
  • Type–is it kinky always, sometimes or never? is it romantic sometimes, always or never?
  • Communication– do you want to discuss and push the envelope or share feelings, or do you like to keep it basic?
  • Intensity– do you want it deep and long or short all the time?

It’s not like you need to have an academic discussion with your partner on the matter, but generally, couples who are sexually healthy and happy have similar bedroom styles in terms of type of sex, frequency, intensity and how they communicate during, before and after sex. And in many –I’d say most couples, one or both parties is willing to compromise on perhaps the frequency or type now and then. This is what makes the relationship work out well.

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6 Things You Must Do to Be a Good Partner

It doesn’t matter if you’re young or old, gay or straight or bi or any other orientation. It doesn’t matter if you are never married, married twice or newly divorced.

If you want to get love from someone, you have to give back of yourself.

Relationships shouldn’t be one-sided; they are reciprocal arrangements where both people get to exist happily according to each other’s various needs.

These are the 6 key things you must have and give to be a good partner.

Let’s get started:

1. Must be giving: you cannot take constantly or be selfish. However, in each relationship there are times where one person can be more selfish than the other and vice versa. This is “okay” as long as it is balanced in the long run and both parties feel validated.

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Life Tip: Women Want to Hear How You Feel

Men ask me for advice rather frequently about the ladies. And one of the biggest things I always say is to tell her how you feel.
Every woman and person is different, but there are quite a few of us who really love to get that verbal affirmation from our partner. If you’ve ever looked into the 5 love languages, then you know what I mean. If you haven’t– verbal affirmation is a love style; people who have this preference enjoy hearing their partners express their feelings, getting praise or  hearing expressions of love from their mates.

For me, this is one of my strong love styles.

So, if you are a man who can’t or won’t express how he feels and you meet a woman who needs this, you are in deep, deep poop.

Here is why:

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