7 Easy Little Things She Wishes You Would Do (That Mean A Lot)

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We often overlook the little things that occur, thinking they’re not important when really, they mean so much to the other person. And sometimes, it’s when we ignore or forget to do those little things that the people we love feel unloved or not appreciated.

Funny enough, people often say women are so complicated but really, there are so many little things that we women appreciate that aren’t big gestures or grand gifts.

If you care about a special woman, here are 7 little easy things she wishes you would do to show her she’s important that will mean so much to her:

Make Dinner and Add Candles

Don’t ask her what to make. Just cook or order in, add candles and invite her over to relax. You can also bring the dinner to her or if you live together, tell her it’s on you tonight.

Wish Her Good Morning or a Good Day

We all get so busy that it’s hard to find time to communicate but a quick good morning text, kiss or call is always sweet.

Tell Her She’s Special or You’re Thinking About Her

It’s always nice to hear that you are special or that someone you care about is thinking about you.

Encourage Her After a Rough Day

When she’s had a bad day, supoort is always appreciated whether it’s a hug or word of encouragement.

Draw Her a Bath or Give Her a Massage

When she’s tired and has no energy, a bath or massage or both are small lovely gestures that will mean so much to her.

Surprise Her With Quality Time Together

A little surprise time together will uplift her spirits and make her feel that she is important to you.

Help Her Without Her Having to Ask

Your helping hands could mean so much, especially if you offer to help and she hasn’t asked.

Little Things Are The Big Things,

Laura

4 Things Thoughtful People Always Do

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There are certain things that thoughtful people—friends, lovers and family members — do on instinct and also, well-crafted thought. It’s very easy to tell when someone is particularly thoughtful: that person makes us feel very cared for and loved. Special. We feel safe and also, able to be our true selves, vulnerable and all, when someone is so thoughtful.
Here’s why:

Thoughtful people take action considering your feelings first.

Someone who really cares about you doesn’t make a move without considering how you might feel first. This is the person who knows how nervous you get when going to the doctor’s and in turn, calls you before and after an appointment.
The thoughtful person delivers both good and bad news in a way that considers the other person’s potential comfort level and response first.

Thoughtful People Love to Show You How Much You Mean to Them.

Thoughtful people enjoy expressing their feelings for you whether you’re their best friend or their spouse. When your birthday comes up, that person will be the first to plan a celebration for you. When you get a promotion at work or accomplish a goal, your thoughtful person will be right by your side to celebrate you. And if times are tough, that same person will be there to hold your hand and tell you how much you mean to them.

Thoughtful People Know Their Strengths and Weaknesses As Much As Your Own.

Thoughtful people know their own limitations, as well as the things they excel at. They are able to create a good network of people that complement these strengths and weaknesses, and they are very aware of their loved ones’ flaws and good traits.
In the same vein, they never make their loved ones feel bad for these flaws but instead, help the people they love to get stronger each day and also, support their friends, family members and romantic partners, knowing that somethings are harder for them than others.

Thoughtful People Pay Close Attention.

Thoughtful people are very attentive. They remember things about the ones they love, and try to tune in to their partners and friends emotions and feelings. They work hard on their listening skills. Let’s be honest: many of us are not good listeners. It really is a work in progress for all of us. Thoughtful people try to listen and keep their eyes on the ones they love. They do their best to give them focused and genuine attention, rather than being constantly distracted.

Thinking, Doing, Loving,

Laura

The Rules of Intimacy

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Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

The rules of intimacy are simple and genuine. They’re not as complex as love is. Love is a feeling and feelings are often complicated– but complicated doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Love can be intricately and wonderfully complex.

Intimacy however at its core, is simple.

To really have intimacy though, you must honor that person and that intimacy!

You can’t take that person for granted. You can’t be full of hot air. You must be genuine and available.

The 8 rules of intimacy:

Be available & present

Emotional unavailability is absolutely not ok! It breaks intimacy down and hurts and isolates the parties.

Be available. Be present. Put your phone done. Put your “reactions” away. Listen first. Then respond.

But be available. Show up.

Be honest

This doesn’t mean cutthroat commentary at every minute. It means being honest with yourself and your partner about your needs and wants. When you are dishonest, you trash intimacy– whether you’re being dishonest with yourself or your partner, or both of you.

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What Are Your Real Priorities? Check Yourself (& Others)

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Priorities. We all have priorities in our life. When people tell me they’re too busy, I secretly add in my head “because it’s not important.” When people decide something is important, they do it.

The same goes for you. If someone decides you are important, he or she will commit to you. The person will make time for you. The person will want to be with you. The person will have no lame excuses  as to why he or she isn’t available.

The same goes for “things.” If being healthy is important, people will make time to be healthy. If being kind is important, people will be kind.

Actions delineate priorities. This makes it easy to see who really cares about you.

People who would rather be with you then be with many partners or alone, care about you.

People who say they’d rather be alone or with many people, don’t give a flying f*ck about you.

Friends who show up when you need help, care.

Friends who reach out and want to connect with you, care.

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One Reason NOT to Get Divorced

When I was hemming and hawing over whether to divorce or not and my husband at the time was as well, I asked my friends who were divorced for advice.

Should I get a divorce?

How will I know if it’s right to divorce?

I wanted someone else to make the decision for me. I wanted someone else to call the shots for me. I wanted some sign from the heavens like written in the sky saying, “Hey Laura, It’s Me. G-d. Do you need to get a divorce, ok? Glad we had this talk.”

Of course, life doesn’t work that way and neither does divorce. Knowing when it’s time to call it quits is different for everyone. For some people, it’s an event that drives them to sign the papers. For another person, it’s a gut feeling. But one of the things that struck me so very deeply was when I asked my divorced friend if I should divorce, she gave me one reason not to get a divorce.

She told me, “Don’t get a divorce to meet someone else. You may not meet someone else. You may never. Leave because you absolutely can’t take another minute with this person you’re married to. Leave because being alone is better than being married.”

It was a sobering piece of advice.

Not meet anyone? How dismal.

But how sound! How practical!

You can’t divorce someone simply because you think there’s a better model out there for you.

Read More: One Reason NOT to Get Divorced

 

The Right Reason,

Laura

If You Want to Stay Married, Do These 10 Things Every Day

Getting married may seem like a feat, but these days, it’s staying married that is the real task at hand. In a world that moves faster than we can really handle, it can be easy to let the basic tenets and principles of good love and partnership fall by the wayside, but don’t let that be your marriage! Don’t let it be you who is the lazy partner. Be present and aware of your partner and your marriage each day. Do these 10 things daily, and we won’t be surprised when year after year, you’re collecting another anniversary gift and enjoying another solid year of love with the person you said “I do” to!

1. Forgive

The best thing you can offer anyone you love is forgiveness. Each day, forgive. Forgive your partner for the flaws and mistakes. Unless it’s a major sin or breach of trust and respect, forgive. Your partner will never be perfect. He or she will always annoy you. Forgive and you will be happy and so will your spouse.

2. Touch

It doesn’t have to be a hot bedroom session, but touch your partner. Each day. Hug. Kiss. Hold hands. Rub his or her back. Touch. Touch is so vital — human contact reminds us that we’re there for each other, literally.

Read More: If You Want to Stay Married, Do These 10 Things Every Day

Listen,

Laura

I Love It When My Spouse Says…

We all want to be told that we are loved — but not everyone wants to be told that in the exact same way! Does your spouse or partner speak your love language? For these people I spoke to, their spouses had something to say that just gets right into their very hearts and souls.

These 28 phrases, whether sexy, sensual, sweet, or kind, really make these married hearts go aflutter!

What does your spouse say that makes you feel so loved?

  1. “I’ll give the kids a bath tonight.”
  2. “Take all the time you need.”
  3. “Good job!”
  4. “You amaze me!”
  5. “Go take a nap — I’ve got this.”
  6. “Everything would fall apart without you.”
  7. “I thought about you a lot today.”
  8. “Meow!”

Read More: I Love it When My Spouse Says…

 

Speak to Her/Him,

Laura

Couples Reveal the ONE Thing They Keep Secret

Everyone has secrets or things that he or she doesn’t want to share with anyone. Why would couples be any different? That intimacy and closeness has to come with a large dose of trust and a certain amount of exclusivity. While many couples I asked were hesitant to share anything that could incriminate them, these couples shared some of the funny, serious, and daily things that they don’t share with anyone else besides each other!

  1. “We don’t share the amount of money we win or lose when we gamble.”
  2. “I don’t tell others when we fight or how much money we make.”
  3. “Neither of us share our fights or our sex life . . . so people think we’re the perfect couple. Little do they know!”

Read More: Couples Reveal the ONE Thing They Keep Secret

 

What do you keep secret?

Laura

10 Things I Could Only Learn From Marrying The Wrong Person

There are some things in life that you won’t learn until you screw up badly or take a major risk. It’s taking that risk or making those mistakes that help you become who you are. Without those mistakes and failures, you’d be a fragment of who you are today.

Yes, you read that right! Your failures can really break you, but more importantly, they can make you.

Think about the last time someone gave you advice, especially in matters of the heart. Did you take it? Think about your last breakup. If someone had stopped you right before you committed to this person and said, “It’s going to end, so don’t bother,” would you have listened to him or her, or went ahead and married the wrong person?

You would have done what you wanted to. Had someone tried to stop me from getting married, I would have told them to screw off.

The reality is while I did love my former husband and wanted it to work out, we were not meant for each other. We couldn’t have lasted a lifetime, but without marrying him, I wouldn’t have learned so many things.

By taking the risk and getting married to the wrong person, I gained so much. A beautiful daughter and many life lessons that made me who I am today. Lessons that I could only have learned by marrying the wrong person.

 

Read More: 10 Things I Could Only Learn From Marrying The Wrong Person

Lessons Learned,

Laura

8 Little White Lies That Are OK to Tell Your Spouse

Honesty is the best policy . . . isn’t it? Well sometimes, it makes sense to tell a little white lie here and there to your spouse. Really. As contradictory as it sounds, a white lie on occasion will most likely save everyone’s sanity. Here are eight little secrets you can keep from your spouse without it hurting your marriage.

1. The Outfit Compliment

Really, if your spouse looks like an utter fool, it’s probably best you say something to save this person from embarrassment. However, there are many occasions someone might not really “rock” that new shirt, dress, or pair of pants but . . . your spouse loves it! It’s best you let your spouse feel good in that fashion choice. Don’t say a word, because if you do, most likely, it’s going to be the wrong thing!

2. When You Hate the BFF

If your spouse’s BFF is a big fat pain in the butt to you, most likely your spouse will see that the two of you don’t “jive” well. But if you really can’t stand this person, it’s advisable that you keep some of your critique to yourself. You don’t have to state that you love your spouse’s bestie, but you can hold back, and, if directly asked, soften the blow with a white lie like, “Well, we’re just different people.” Trust me, don’t mess with a spouse’s best friend . . . unless the person is toxic for your spouse.

Don’t Say It!
Laura