The Man/Woman Who Push-Pulls Your Relationship: What You Need to Know

You have someone in your life, male or female, who comes close to you, and then drifts further away. This person approaches you on his or her terms, gets involved, and then runs for cover while you’re left feeling abandoned, doubtful of yourself and in pain.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to the push-pull cycle. Where the partner comes in, withdraws, comes in and withdraws again, all to your detriment.

Why the hell is this happening? Why does this man/woman do this? I bet you’ve said all of those things, more than fifty times in your own head.

In my twenties, I experienced this for a bit with a guy. I ended up cutting it off, and we became friends right away. Thank god. He was a much better friend, then a sexual partner and boyfriend, and I was happy to offer friendship. Years later, he kicks himself and says how beautiful I am and wonderful. We are still friends, years later! We’ve been there for each other through a lot. It’s pretty awesome.

Trust me– I see how he aged and how I aged. He regrets it. He was afraid I was too free-spirited for a committed relationship. It turns out I wasn’t, but at least we could be friends … and for 15 years!

If you are reading this page and landed here like me, you probably are the one who is being pushed and pulled away. You probably feel really bad about yourself, wondering why this person would do this to you. You probably feel down about yourself, wondering what you did wrong. You probably feel downright crazy.

Wipe your tears, get your sexiest outfit or– whip out your razors boys, and stop blaming yourself.

Learn what’s what with this push-pull character

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9 Traits Grown Women Find Seriously Attractive in Men

Lots of guys ask questions like, “Why do girls like bad boys?”, wondering what it is women find even remotely attractive about men who end up hurting them. But if you really want to know how to get a girl to like you, the last place you should look for inspiration about what women find attractive are those rebels without a clue. And women, you should be paying no attention at all to those bad boys. They’ll only leave you high and dry, and they’re really no fun, save for – maybe – a few bedroom romps.

Honestly, if you’re over 21, you probably already know how quickly these kinds of guys lose their appeal. They’ve got a clear expiration date. They’re cute when they’re young, but as a girl matures into a woman, her patience for them disappears. And while the saying that “Good men are hard to find” may be popular for good reason, the good news is that at least they aren’t impossible to find. They do exist! And when we ladies finally figure out how to find a good man, there are so many things about that person that we love that we cannot help but overlook the small things he might do to upset us.

Truly, when you break it down, bad guys are “boys,” but good guys are “men.” Would you rather play with a boy – or run with a man? So guys, here are the dominant personality traits grown women find most attractive and utterly irresistible about a good man that make bad boys look like little babies. (After all, ladies, if you want to find a good man, you need to know what you’re looking for and why these men are so much better than that “bad boy” who’s been stringing you along.)

Read More: 9 Traits Grown Women Find Seriously Attractive in Men

Boys Drool, Men Rule,

Laura

10 Men Share How They Know Whether A Woman Is Short-Term Fun Or Worthy Of A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered what makes a guy settle down? Have you ever watched a lifelong bachelor finally decide on someone? What about your guy friends? Have you seen them swoon over one woman and act indifferent to another? Have you, as a woman, sat there before or during a date and made some sort of strategy, whether it was to hold off on kissing, sex, or avoiding or encouraging certain kinds of conversations?

I’ve spent a lot of time wondering how men categorize women they meet, strategizing and deciding how much of myself to reveal, give or offer up. After all, that’s what will make a good relationship in the long-run.

It’s always seemed straightforward: if a woman really likes a man, she should make him work for it and not give up too much. Because if a woman is too quick to hop in bed or seems to be too eager to be involved, a man puts her in that “short-term fling” category, instead of someone he’d want a long-term relationship with.

Read More: 10 Men Share How They Know Whether A Woman Is Short-Term Fun Or Worthy Of A Long-Term Relationship

Get the Scoop,

Laura

9 Reasons It’s Completely Okay (And Normal) For A Strong Woman To Need A Man

One of my biggest pet peeves as a single mom is when people tell me how strong I am; that I’m so strong, I don’t need a man. When manual labors present themselves, random friends from the “friend choir” will say, “You can do it yourself! I do it myself. I don’t need a man.”

Don’t get me wrong. I can do plenty myself. I’m very independent and I run a household alone and have for almost four years. I consider myself a feminist too, but since when was needing someone so terrible?

Okay, so “needing” someone in a needy, clingy way is a turn-off. Codependency is a turn-off. Needing someone in your life to partner with you is not. It’s really more about wanting a strong partner.

Why does being a feminist or a strong woman have to translate as not needing a man (or woman, depending on your preference)? There are many reasons why strong women need men and why it’s normal. She should never have to apologize for it. Here’s why.

1. Teamwork makes the dream work.

A strong woman has a great foundation in which a partnership can build something even more fabulous. There’s nothing wrong with going solo, but wanting a partner to carry out big dreams and ideas is great.

Sorry haters, but it takes two to row a boat. There’s no shame of wanting someone on board the ship.

Read More: 9 Reasons It’s Completely Okay (And Normal) For A Strong Woman To Need A Man

The Power of Two,

Laura

The Difference Between Emotionally Unavailable Vs. Emotionally Available Men

When we talk about someone being emotionally available, just exactly what do we mean? It’s not like we can just “check out” someone’s emotions or available nature like a library book. And it’s not like we can tell off the bat if someone is emotionally available or not — unless, of course, the person tells us at “Hello!” or walks around with a label on him or her.

If you’re trying to determine the signs he’s emotionally unavailable versus the signs he’s emotionally available, use this little “guide” that will help you determine if your potential love is free to make something grow and build with you, or if that person is “closed” for emotional and romantic business.

Read More: The Difference Between Emotionally Unavailable Vs. Emotionally Available Men

Available…or Not,

Laura

If Your Man is Like a Cat-Back Exhaust System, You’re In Luck

I never thought I would know anything about cars or men.

Actually, it’s debatable how much I know about the XX species—and I’m still learning about cars.

For a new job of mine, I’ve had to learn a lot about cars, trucks, performance driving, off-roading and then some. If you know me, you already know that all that stuff is Greek to me. But I’m a good student and hate to look stupid, so I’ve been doing my research. When it comes to men, I’ve made stupid mistakes sometimes, and I’m learning too—a work in progress trying to understand the sexy, mysterious and sometimes incredibly weird species, called males. Let’s just say…I have been researching men since age 3 and so far, I’ve yet to find that one guy that can capture me and throw me into his man cave for eternity.

But the other day, I had to write about Cat Back Exhaust Systems, and it made me think of men.

First of all, I knew zilch about exhaust systems, much less what a “cat” had to do with any of it.

But as I read on about mufflers, resonators, and horsepower, I realized that a man’s love or lack thereof, can be compared easily to a Cat Back.

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10 Lies Men Will Tell You To Get What They Want

I always believed what men told me simply because I am honest to a “T.” I figured everyone else was as well. How could someone stand to lie to someone’s face?

As I got older and married and then divorced, I learned with experience that not everyone is honest, even if they’re a decent human being on the surface. Sometimes, men lie to save your feelings… or save their own.

Of course, sometimes men lie because, well… they’re not such nice people. It can be hard to fathom why someone might lie right to your face but the fact is, guys will do it if it means they will get what they want.

This isn’t to say that there aren’t genuine, kind and honest men or that there aren’t ruthless and crooked lying women out there. But sometimes, the lies men tell to get what they want are convenient.

Here are 10 lies men tell and why they do it.

Read More: 10 Lies Men Will Tell You To Get What They Want

Talk, Talk,

Laura

To the Divorced Guys: What It Means to Be a Nice Guy

I understand that as a woman, the dudes are going to give me hell for this.
Please men, I love you dearly. In fact, probably way too much. I know women are “bad” too, but see I am not out in the world dating women, so I’m not as invested in other women and their dating habits as I am with the pool of guys I am meeting as a single woman.

So gentlemen, listen with an open heart.

A lot of men claim to be “nice guys.” And indeed, there are quite a few of you out there. Namely, I am thinking of my friends Mike, Chris, Steve, Tim, Stephen, and there are a ton more but, there are also impostors. Men who claim to be nice, but aren’t really. This isn’t because they’re intentionally evil, but that they’re not “all together” just yet. Under the issues, the man is nice. Above the issues? The man is toxic.

Let me just say — there is nothing more brutal than dating a man who is not over his divorce. Since separating from my ex, I have been on some dates the past two years, and I have met quite a few men who either openly or covertly ( with no evil intention but simply unbeknownst to them) were not over their marriages, yet were out in the dating world attempting to mix with the female sex.

Read More: To the Divorced Guys: What It Means to Be a Nice Guy

Be Nice,

Laura

The 4 Real Stages of the Crazy Woman, I mean, Menstrual Cycle; Be afraid. Be Very Afraid!

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Look, there are plenty of sane women. There are also women who don’t PMS. Women who do charity work. Who wear chastity belts.

Who are saints.

Then there are the rest of us.

And since women are crazy because men are sometimes, ahem, stupid, I thought I would delineate the stages of the menstrual cycle for the lazyman, I mean, the layman.

#1 All is well

Let’s call this day 1 of the cycle. Period is done.

The woman is happy. Her vagina is free of tampons, and her crotch is free of maxi pads. There’s nothing going down down there, and praise be! That’s all we ask. A  little peace and quiet in the netherlands of our “netherlands.”

Our skin is clear. Our boobs aren’t sore. And we haven’t ate everyone out of the house or held up a CVS or Duane Reade at gunpoint for Peanut Butter cups.

Not yet at least.

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Excuse me. I think I just had an orgasm. What was I saying?

Oh yeah. stage #2

#2 High-energy

Right before ovulation, things start to get cooking. We’re peppy, and hey guys, we even like you. We might ask you to go steady, or to fu*k off, but chances are we will be nice if we tell you to go south. We exercise, command attention, and are super-efficient. Life is better than good–it’s awesome.

#3 A Love Bomb is about to Drop

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This is right at ovulation or a 1-3 days before.

We. Are. Horny. Very.

This is the time to make babies, or make peace, depending on bad you pissed off your lady. This is the peak opportune time to ask her to do something naughty in bed.

Some women may speak in tongues during orgasms. Others may just simply make you agree to spend loads of money you didn’t really want to, but you don’t care. You got some. We like you. We want you around, and we make your life easy.

Our skin may break out–damn, that sucks—but otherwise, we are symptom free, minus a few cramps indicating that “Damn son, an egg is about to drop!”

If you don’t want a baby, watch out!

#4 Run For Cover, or Prepare for potential Death

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This is right before our period…the stage called PMS, and the actual PERIOD. Yup, blood and all.

We become bloated. Some of us have sore boobs. We may cramp. We may break out as if we are a goddamned teenager again. We may eat you out of the house. We may decide to hold up 7-11 for a slushie and a chocolate bar, forgetting we’ve got the cash to pay for it in our wallets. Besides, we didn’t ask to go through this. Nature gave us this crap. We deserve whatever we want.

Men, you will do EVERYTHING wrong, unless you aren’t stupid, and we will hate your clothes, words, face, soul, job, mother, and heart.

We will cry when you forget the DVR the Golden GIrls because don’t you know it, it was the episode in which Sophia was in the hospital. Damn you!

We will get mad when you forget (see a theme here?) what our confirmation/Hebrew name is! You terrible pathetic jerkoff! How dare you forget my confirmation name that goes like: Mary Margaret Theresa Marie.

How dare you get it in the wrong order?

Watch as your precious items are burned.

Football, unless she’s a fan, will be banned.

If you even whisper, “Touchdown,” prepare for your death.

Right until when it is all over, and we’re back to stage 1.

The impressions in this blog are of the author, a sane and smart woman. Well, one of those is true.

If you are an angel all month long, please ignore this.

If you love getting your period, screw you.

If you don’t understand this is humor, you are stupid.

Love,

Me

**images by Photobucket