8 Ways to Shut Down Questions About When Baby No. 2 Is Coming

Don’t you love how people are utterly offended and horrified by the fact that your kid is an only child? I mean, what could possibly be worse than not having a sibling?

Because having siblings is always easy. Your brother is never publicly intoxicated and your sister is completely normal, sane and never yanked your hair like she was pulling weeds, right? Siblings always get along, too! I mean everyone knows that!

Yeah, what sort of demon leaves his or her child to be a lone soul in the world without a sibling around to kick that kid’s ass?

Apparently, having an only child makes other parents consider us parents of only kids, slackers. It’s like we’re all competing in this major parenting Olympics and if you only have one kid, you’re cheating at life and therefore, getting by way too damn easy.

Read More: 8 Ways to Shut Down Questions About When Baby No. 2 Is Coming

None of Their Beeswax,


8 Reasons Only Children Make Great Partners

Only children get a bad rep as being spoiled and self-centered. Personally? I just think the rest of us are so jealous on how good onlies can have it. The focus of their parents’ finances, hearts, and eyes. As the parent of an only, I can see drastic differences between her upbringing and mine, as the youngest of four girls. I can’t tell you how much I cherish having an only, although I would love to have stepchildren for sure. Onlies truly are resilient and bold creatures, making them in my opinion, pretty amazing partners! Here are eight reasons why only children are kick-ass amazing partners!

1. They’re Independent as HELL

While it may sound contradictory to say an independent person would be great in a couple, it’s not. Onlies are independent, meaning they won’t crush their partners with need. They are able to survive on their own and can offer a lot in a relationship. While being “too” independent can make people distant, onlies typically have close relationships with their parents from the very beginning years of life, making these independent gems able to connect with others all while still being self-sufficient.

2. They’re Creative

I spent a lot of time playing alone as a little kid because my sisters were older, but I had a neighbor down the street I could run to. With my only child, I hear the most amazing and creative “stories” playing out right in front of my eyes. Only children are creative because they have to be! If they grew up without kids to play with as much as their friends with siblings did, don’t you think they had to? Plus, only children don’t have “siblings” to take the heat from them when they get in trouble . . . or times are tough at home. They have to be creative to adapt or stay out of trouble. Your creative only child partner will keep things interesting and fresh. An only child as a partner is adaptive and inventive when the chips are down or up!

Read More:  8 Reasons Only Children Make Great Partners

One is an Awesome Number,


Your Only Child Is Not Your Therapist

Having my only child is a great blessing for me, considering it was hard enough to get her here to meet me. I grew up in a home of four girls, me being the youngest, and life was colorful, loud, and chaotic until my three older sisters left the home — and me — behind when I was 12 years old. The three of them went off into the world, and essentially, I was like an only child at home. Still, having an only was sort of different to me because my daughter’s childhood and home life are so vastly different from my own, but I have found the only-child relationship between me and my daughter to be amazing. The closeness, the one-on-one interactions, and the ability to give her the focus and attention she needs is wonderful. The bond the two of us share will be irreplaceable for life. But as she gets older, I see there will be precautions I will need to take as a parent in order to avoid putting too much on those sturdy girl shoulders.

Read More: Your Only Child Is Not Your Therapist

Be Careful What You Say,


Dear Daughter: Why You’re an Only

Dear daughter:

I can’t tell you this today. You are only 5 years old. There are some things you have to wait to understand. But lately, you keep asking me for a baby sister. It’s always a sister. On occasion with some of your friends who are boys, you’ll request a brother but for the most part, the menu is: baby sister, baby sister, and more baby sister.

Last Summer, one day as we ate our dinner outside, you asked me if I could make you a baby sister. When I told you it “didn’t exactly work that way,” you then tried to offer your own services to carry “one baby brother” and me “a baby sister.” When I tried to explain to you that it still doesn’t work that way, you offered grandma’s services. Too bad that it still doesn’t work that way.

Read More: Dear Daughter: Why You’re an Only

While You’re Planning, Life Happens,


To My Daughter on Her 5th Birthday

The day is finally here. You’re 5!

It’s not 13. Sixteen. Twenty-one.

But 5, it seems so . . . so big! A birthday of 5 means the end of preschool days. Swimming on your own (almost). Running free at the park and not looking back to see me, unless of course, you want to impress me with something you’re doing.

Five means you’re still a child, but yet you’re so independent.

You put on your own clothes. You set your own plate. You get your own drink from the fridge.

You feel less like my baby and more like my girl.

Maybe it’s that you’re my only child, but 5 feels so wonderful and bittersweet. In short five years, we have lost our family (from divorce), rebuilt new ones (you with daddy and you with me), lost our home — and we made a new one, you and me. I went to work and you went to preschool after our former day-to-day loveliness of being together for two and a half years at home.

Read More: To My Daughter on Her 5th Birthday

She’s My Best Girl,


9 Harsh Truths About Dating in Your Late 30s

Dating in your late 30s (especially if you are dating after divorce with kids like me) is sort of like sifting through a garbage can, hoping to find a huge diamond and a pair of Manolo Blahniks. I don’t mean to say that every available man is worthless when you’re in your late 30s but rather that the game is hard, and guess what, ladies: it’s still a game, even at our age. Here are some truths you need to know if you’re about to head out into the dating pond in your late 30s.

1. They Want Them Young

A lot of men want their ladies young. These are the bachelors that hit late-30s and into mid-40s and suddenly realized, “Oh snap! My sperm is getting old, too, wouldn’t you know? And now that I am all grown up, I think it’s time I settled down. I think I will pick a nice 25-year-old.” Even though you’re their age or even quite younger than them by years, you’re still old to them. It’s BS. The right one won’t care that you’re not in your 20s, absolutely, and you’re not old, but yet there are guys who will completely shut you down, especially online, if you’re a year over his age range. It is what it is.

Read More: 9 Harsh Truths About Dating in Your Late 30s

It is What it is,


3 Ways Divorce Impacts Only Children Differently

Sixty-four percent of children (classified as people ages 0 to 17) live with two married parents today as opposed to 77 percent of children in 1980. These statistics don’t account for children living with remarried parents, but the Pew Research Center reported in 2014 that 15 percent of children were living with two parents in a remarriage. Any way you slice it with these statistics, it seems divorced families and/or other alternatives to the typical married family household are on the rise.

Knowing this, I felt somewhat better when my ex and I decided to divorce. We both came from married families and so divorce was very different from our upbringing. I even did a lot of reading on children of divorce and felt I understood why my daughter had first responded so strongly to the divorce. She had just turned 3 when we separated and so there was regression in terms of toilet training as well as lashing out aggressively toward myself and on occasion her peers. A year and a half later, she is doing great, but the one thing I had not considered in her divorce experience until as of late as we finalize the divorce was her only-child status.


Read More: 3 Ways Divorce Impacts Only Children Differently

Kids Need Our Support,


Why Saying “Just One Kid” to a Mom With an Only Child Is a Hideous Crime

Whether it’s innocent or not, it’s not uncommon to hear these words uttered to me as a mom of an only child:

“You have just one kid?”

Yes, just one kid.

There’s something damning and almost insulting about this statement. “Just,” to me, signifies that one child is not enough. It suggests that everyone should indeed be having multiple children or at the very least two. “Just” screams, “Oh, you only have one kid. That’s nothing. I have a lot of kids. Now THAT’S a lot of work!”

Read More: Why Saying “Just One Kid” to a Mom With an Only Child Is a Hideous Crime

One is Enough, Thanks,


Vows to My Only Child

Having an only child means I’ve heard it all.

She needs a friend for life!

What happens when you’re gone? She’ll have no one!

She’ll grow up spoiled.

People speak without thinking. I never asked for their opinions on how many kids I need to have, nor did anyone ask me if I always wanted an only child or if circumstances dictated that my daughter would be an only. Either way, I think having an only child is special. We are very close and have a tight bond. After growing up in a house with three siblings in a family of six (five of us are female), it’s been very nice having a different and intimate relationship with my little party of two (Dad and I are divorced).

Read More: Vows to My Only Child

I Solemnly Swear,


Don’t Make Me Feel Bad For Having an Only Child

Some people think it’s a sin for a child to be an only child. Apparently having a sibling is the BE-ALL, END-ALL of the world. And while siblings can be great if you get along with them and can teach you about sharing & socializing, being an only child has many perks.

And for myself as a newly almost divorced mommy, having an only child is a great thing. It is hard enough to feed one mouth…a second mouth would have been even tougher.

I support all types of families and situations. Whether it’s someone who doesn’t want a kid, someone who wants 5 or someone who wants 1. I just wish strangers would keep their comments to themselves.

Here’s my latest for PopSugarMoms: Don’t Make Me Feel Bad For Having an Only Child