7 Things I Want to Say to Strangers During My Child’s Public Meltdown

Kids will meltdown and it will always happens at the worst moment, like when they’re meeting someone very important to you, or in public among a large crowd. I’m pretty certain that children time these tantrums appropriately to humiliate us to the largest possible degree.

And truthfully, it’s not your family or friends that care about their behavior so much—it’s total strangers who love to judge you for for every imperfect moment your child has to prove you’re a big fat failure as a mother.

Here are some things I would love to say to strangers as they burn holes into my soul, wishing me into dirt, for all of the bad things my kid has done in public:

1. “She’s just like her [insert other family member name here]”

When my daughter is having a “moment,” I would love to blame it on another family member, simply to relieve myself of those nasty beady stranger eyes, and also to jolt some nonsense into that nosy stranger!

Like, “Oh yeah lady, well she gets this awful habit from her INSERT FAMILY MEMBER NAME HERE—but definitely not me,” and then go on to pick my nose right in front of her.

Charming, right?

2. “If you think you can do a better job, here, she’s yours.”

When strangers be looking at you and your kid like you’re both spawns of Satan, I would love to tell them to try to beat my parenting game.

Read More:7 Things I Want to Say to Strangers During My Child’s Public Meltdown

Everyone is an Expert,

Laura

7 Things I Would Like to Do With Shopkins

Do the possibilities end?

NO!

Lucky you, they never end. Season upon season upon season, these little hard plastic things that come with those little plastic bags never end. And much to your demise, those little Shopkins faces are so cute that your kids can’t get enough of them… ever.

Thanks to the clever manufacturer, there are so many things your kids can do with their Shopkins—none of which would go on my personal to-do list with Shopkins!

Here are some things I’d like to do with those little plastic toys from hell myself:

1. Throw them in a trash bag and leave them on my ex’s porch.

Want revenge? Why does it have to be hurtful? Why does it have to be a fist to the gut? Can’t it just be a bag full of Shopkins for someone else to collect, step on, poke oneself with, and find in sinks, toilets and bathtubs?

2. Make a trail with them and lead a kid to the ending.

Step 1: Take all your kid’s Shopkins.

Read More: 7 Things I Would Like to Do With Shopkins

Tampon Tara?

Laura

8 Things Every Sleep-Deprived New Mom Needs to Keep in Mind Through the Chaos

When the baby is crying (again), your nipples are cracked and bleeding, and you want to hide in a corner and cry, you can’t seem to think past the baby phase and into the future. Right now, you’re in the thick of the lovely, yet stressful newborn chaos, and in most cases, you probably don’t feel it to be lovely at all — you can’t see beyond your fatigue.

Your heavy-lidded eyes are too stuck in the throes of sleep exhaustion to remind yourself that this too shall pass and will be over in a blink of an eye. When it’s your first baby, you don’t have the past experience to remind you of that.

So when you’re utterly exhausted and wishing your baby could just sleep through the night, here are eight things to remember in the middle of this newborn blur — straight from a mom who is done having babies.

1. You Must Know That This Too Shall Pass — All Too Quickly.

Right now, it seems like your baby will never sleep through the night and that you will never get the hang of it, but that’s not true. In a blink of an eye, your “up all night, sleep all day” baby will begetting on the bus to kindergarten.

Read More: 8 Things Every Sleep-Deprived New Mom Needs to Keep in Mind Through the Chaos

Babies Don’t Keep,

Laura

8 Reasons Positive Discipline Is Still Discipline

Positive discipline is essentially when you focus on your child’s behaviors and choices as good or bad and reward the good behaviors. There is no such thing as a “bad” kid when it comes to positive discipline, and a lot of schools and parents are taking on this way of rearing, raising, and helping kids grow.

But still, there are the naysayers — especially parents of the previous generation — who say that perhaps we are all “too soft” on our kids with this positive parenting nonsense. To the older generation, this is us going too easy on our kids.

“Back in my day, kids behaved the right way!”
“A good spanking got you and your siblings to behave!”

Although each generation of parents tends to have its own unique method of parenting, for some reason the previous generations seem to believe that children can’t learn to behave unless they are frightened to death or scared. And perhaps for some kids, the scare tactic approach works. For me it didn’t, and for many other kids it doesn’t work (in my opinion). I truly think that for positive parenting skeptics, they ought to open their minds to the idea that perhaps children can learn to make great choices without being afraid. That rewarding good choices and focusing on the positives of each individual child can result in a healthy, strong adult.

Need more evidence? Read through for eight reasons positive disciplining is still disciplining.

1. Focusing on the Bad Brings on the Bad; Doing the Opposite Brings on the Good!

Think about it logically. When you focus on something bad that happens to you, the rest of the day seems worse. Do you really think it’s any different in regard to behavior? If you focus on all of the bad things your kid does, I can guarantee you your child will do more bad things. Why? Well, he or she will grow to assume that he or she is only capable of doing bad things and therefore is not a worthy person.

Read More: 8 Reasons Positive Discipline Is Still Discipline

Fear Does Not Equal Respect,

Laura

6 Reasons to Not Feel Guilty That Your Kid Is Playing Alone

As the parent of an only child, there are plenty of times when I feel bad leaving my girl to play alone. But truthfully, it doesn’t matter if you have one child or four, because many mothers feel that “am I leaving my kid alone too much?” pang. That, or they feel guilty at times when they can’t join in and play with their children.

As mommies, we should of course make time to play with our kids as that’s how we bond and connect with them, but that should be balanced with making time to have some fun ourselves. Teaching our kids how to be OK with being alone from time to time is a great life skill, but there’s is a difference between neglecting your kid and giving your child time to learn to be independent while you do 50 million other things as a mom.

Read through for six reasons you should feel glad your child is learning to simply be alone.

1. They’ll learn how to manage time.

When you are alone as an independent worker — which many of us are as adults for at least a portion of our day — you need to learn how to manage your time on your own without someone hovering over you to remind you what to do next. Although a child could never be that independent all day long, playing alone can teach a child how to work within a time frame to accomplish whatever he or she wants — build a castle or read a book, etc.

Read More: 6 Reasons to Not Feel Guilty That Your Kid Is Playing Alone

Independent Thinkers,

Laura

Stop Shaming Moms For Bringing Kids Out in Public

There are certainly places kids shouldn’t be hanging about. There are certainly places in which children need to monitor their voices and actions. Libraries. Museums. Fancy restaurants . . . the list rolls on.

Parents understand that some places are more kid-friendly than others, and that they need to keep their kids on good behavior in public, but seriously now, raise a hand if you have gotten the nastiest look from the deepest pits of hell because you dared to bring a child out in public and they acted like — gasp — a child!

The other day, I brought my daughter to the pharmacy to pick up medication, and she was cranky. She wanted me to buy her a toy, but I didn’t want to buy her a toy, so in true child fashion, she was annoyed. I had one woman look at me like we were pariahs. All my kid was doing was whining. She wasn’t destroying anything or being excessively loud.

The nasty looks. The unsolicited parenting advice. The eye-rolls and sighs. When someone looks at a child like they’re an atomic bomb or a cockroach, I can’t help but wonder how the planet earth got so populated in the first place.

Listen, it’s fine if you don’t like kids, but get over it in public!

Read More: Stop Shaming Moms For Bringing Kids Out in Public

Get Over It,

Laura

 

If You’re a Parent With a Phone, You Need to Read This

People say it’s judgmental to knock parents for using their phones. We’re only human after all, right? We have the right to take a break. Socialize. Respond to work emails. Share sweet photos of our babies on Instagram. Obsess over the latest celebrity tweet. Veg out and scroll through our Facebook feed.

We have the right and damn it, we are only human.

I, too, am only human. I, too, check my phone for work purposes or to share a cute photo of my girl on Instagram.

Phones are very much a large part of our worlds. It’s like how the answering machine and CD player became must haves in the ’80s: our phones are our fifth appendage.

But you see, phones are more than a necessity or tool for socialization. They are the competition. They are what diverts our eyes, distracts our attention, and keeps us from focusing on the people in front of us — mainly our children.

 

Read More: If You’re a Parent With a Phone, You Need to Read This

We Love Our Phones, But Maybe TOO Much,

Laura

The 5 Stages of the Toddler Tantrum

Your toddler is adorable as pie until suddenly, he’s face down kicking and screaming in the middle of Victoria’s Secret (yeah, whose idea was it to bring him? Well, you really needed to use that sweet coupon…) and making a whole big scene.

What did you do that was so offensive to said toddler? Oh, say the word “No.”

Telling a toddler no is a guaranteed way to earn yourself one big fat tantrum, but hey, that’s just all part of development, right mom?

Before you send your toddler packing to a sweatshop to make overpriced toys or sweatshirts, you should buck up mom, and simply learn and understand the delicate process of the toddler temper tantrum.

Stage 1: This Isn’t Going to Go My Way, Is It?

This is right when your toddler realizes that mom is about to say no or do something said toddler doesn’t want her to do. It’s when your toddler understands that she’s not going to get her way. It’s when your toddler starts to turn red, get fidgety or simply, start to raise the volume of her cry or of her voice. This stage always happens in public.

Read More: The 5 Stages of the Toddler Tantrum

It Gets Ugly,

Laura

11 Things Your Child Does to Drive You Crazy Each and Every Day

Kids. They say and do the DAMNDEST things. Most of which of course, are done intentionally to drive moms nuts. Some of it of course isn’t intentional, but just part of our kids’ DNA to make us batty. Our kids are born beautiful for a reason: this way we moms remember that even when they push us to the limits of wanting a padded room and restraints, we will still love them and not eat them alive like certain animal mothers who devour their young. In fact, we probably drive our own kids just as crazy. It wouldn’t be as much fun if we didn’t, would it?

1. Make Us Suffer Insufferable Cartoons

If I have to watch “Littlest Pet Shop” one more time, I might start bleeding cats and dogs! It’s actually one of the better and cuter shows though, if a bit pointless. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse made me want to drive my car into a pole, mostly because of Mickey and Minnie’s voice. It’s also the most inane show ever. The learning lessons about shapes and such seemed so blase. Let’s not forget the “Hot Dog” dance.

Then again, Calliou will make you regret motherhood. Well, at least for a few minutes.

Read More: 11 Things Your Child Does to Drive You Crazy Each and Every Day

But We Love Them,

Laura

10 Things That All Moms of Strong-Willed Kids Know

If you’re the proud parent of a strong-willed child you are most likely both incredibly proud and also at times, extremely frustrated. When you come head to head with a strong little being, it can be a challenge to deal with, especially if you happen to also be a strong-willed mom! Of course, there are so many joys in having a strong-willed child, it’s just that many of these joys may come to a parent later on in life.

1. Cut Nose to Spite Face

If you have a strong-willed child, he or she will cut off his or her own nose to spite his or her face! For example, telling a strong-willed child that Santa won’t come if he makes bad choices means your strong-willed child will simply say, “Fine. I don’t care anyway.”

The strong-willed child has to hang onto her convictions as it means so much to her to be right and see her actions come to light.

Read More: 10 Things That All Moms of Strong-Willed Kids Know

It’s a Worthy Challenge,

Laura