8 Ways to Say I Love You Without Really Saying It

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Saying “I love you” is certainly important and meaningful, but there are many ways to say those 3 words without really saying them. And why wouldn’t someone want to just say “I love you?”

There are many reasons:

  • It’s boring to just use the words constantly without backing them up with actions!
  • Someone might not be ready to say those words– and therefore, would rather show love instead of make a declaration.
  • Someone could love you but not really realize it yet.

Truly, showing someone you love them is the most important thing of all– above and beyond those 3 little words.

Here are ways you can show someone love, without having to speak a word.

Eliminating or Assisting With a Burden

Helping someone with work or a task that stresses the person out is a great way to show love.

Caring When You’re Sick

Got a sick partner or love interest? Caring or helping the person in some way is an act of love.

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How to Talk to Her Before You Lose Her for Good

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Photo by Jenna Norman on Unsplash

Women aren’t as complicated as we get pinned for. Truly, all we want is to feel:

  • Valued
  • Heard (Listened to)
  • Cared for and Respected

It’s not rocket science and it doesn’t require any ab-bearing or fish-caught touting selfies to make us happy.

If you really give a crap about a woman and you have a pulse, you can change how you speak to her and make her even happier to ensure she cares about you for years to come.

Or, you can keep missing the mark. You decide.

Be Specific– Not Cookie-Cutter

Instead of saying I had a good time, say something like:

  • I really enjoyed spending time with you because I felt like I learned more about you.
  • Coming over was great– I loved being close to you and getting time to relax.

Share Your Feelings- Don’t Be Scared

Instead of saying after intimacy, a kiss or sex That was nice, say something like:

  • I really feel closer to you after that– which is amazing.
  • Wow– how lucky am I to have you next to me?
  • You feel amazing and make me happy.

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5 Reasons He/She REALLY Doesn’t Want a Relationship

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Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Unsplash

You’ve spent a lot of time wondering why he/she is so flaky or unavailable. You seem to have a good time with the person, but then he or she is nowhere to be found. The person ghosts you for a while, and then pops back up. Or, you can’t get any consistency from the person. Dates are good, but they come and go. You wonder to yourself “WTF is wrong with this person,” when you get the “I don’t want a relationship” line that we all know is total bullsh*t for the most part.

Here are 5 reasons your love interest really doesn’t want a relationship.

Brace yourself. The harsh truth is coming.

1. He/She Doesn’t Care About You

Their options and freedom is more important. They like the idea of having many options available to them and you aren’t special.

Yup– you aren’t special and you mean squat to that person.

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Hurtful Behaviors That Keep You Up at Night From a Love Interest or Spouse

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You’re up late at night wondering and stressing over what you have done wrong to make a partner or love interest act differently. After a while, your self-esteem starts to tank. You start to wonder what you’re doing wrong or, why you’re not good enough. It becomes a late-night bashing party of one: you bashing yourself.

If your partner or love interest is doing the following things, you are probably having some sleepless nights wondering what’s going on, like why is your person of interest—

1. Running Hot and Cold?

Someone who wants to see you and then doesn’t want to see you, clearly has some issues.

However, most likely these issues reside with your love, and not you. Point out this person’s weird behaviors.

2. Withdrawing Affection and Acting Cold?

This person may simply not care about you at all. Coldness is a sure sign that the person is rejecting you or being hurtful or, is hurt themselves. Maybe you hurt this person’s feelings. Talk about it!

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Is He Using His Job as a Coping Method?

alejandro-escamilla-LF8gK8-HGSg-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Alejandro Escamilla on Unsplash

One of the things my friends have been commenting to me lately is that the men they love tend to bury themselves in their work.

Consider that phrase- bury themselves.

Literally, suffocate themselves and their feelings by giving themselves so much work that they’re not accessible to handle their relationships or other issues of the heart. They’re not around. They’re present, but absent.

As someone whose dad worked constantly, I could relate to their feelings.

When men are depressed, anxious or any other kind of troubling emotion, they “seem” to dive into their jobs, isolating themselves from others.

Society jokes about the “man-cave” and of course the newly minted, “she-shed,” but work can be a safe place for men to dive in and ignore their feelings. This really interesting article in Psychology Today talks about the ways in which men manage their emotions.

Typically, men compartmentalize and shut out their feelings at work. So, it’s not unusual to me when people start commenting that their husbands are working too much, or that their partners are coming home late, only to find that the man in consideration is struggling with his feelings.

So, if you start to notice these signs, it’s possible that your favorite man is burying his feelings at the office or place of work.

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What Does His Holiday Gift Really Mean? What About Her Holiday Card?

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Okay– so, it’s holiday time and you’re unwrapping a gift from your love interest or partner … or maybe not. Maybe there is no gift. No gift?!

There are 15 days left til Christmas and 12 until Hanukkah, so …

What does your partner or love interest’s gift mean? What does his or her card mean? Well, I’m not a psychic, but I use these rules of thumb when analyzing a gift or card and what it means.

What Your Love Interest or Partner’s Gift REALLY Means

1. No Gift

Well, damn! That’s the absolute worst. No gift is just a clear sign that the person doesn’t give a hoot about you or, is completely forgetful and thoughtless.

Even people who are forgetful often do remember in the last few minutes.

If someone doesn’t get you a gift, chances are this person is not interested in you.

That indeed, sucks.

2. A Gift Card

This person is really busy and wanted to make sure he or she hit the mark when it came to your holiday gift.

Or, the person doesn’t want to devote much time to buying you a gift.

I typically buy gift cards for friends and family so they can treat themselves, but for a romantic partner, I’d rather buy a gift unless I am unsure where I stand with the person.

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Do You Want a Relationship Built on Sex or Intimacy?

jonathan-borba-JDBCtEh5x9Y-unsplash.jpgPhoto by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

What does it mean to build a relationship towards intimacy versus what it means to build a relationship of sex?

It really depends on what you want. If you value the person and desire closeness, intimacy is the path you’d like to take.

If you just find the person attractive and don’t want to be close to them other than for carnal needs, sex is the path you’d like to take.

There are some easy key differences between these two paths, so let’s dive in and discuss them, as well as discuss which path is better.

While sex is intimate and part of intimacy, taking your relationship down the path of sex does not guarantee closeness. And while taking your relationship down the path of intimacy includes sex, it does includes closeness.

One path builds continuously and evolves, while the other path is limited and steady.

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A Table for Two: Time to Date Again?

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I took a break from dating for a while this year and learned a lot.

Ultimately, I enjoy being alone and I think if dating isn’t fun, it’s not worth it. I am extremely self-sufficient and I enjoy my own company. I had a peaceful summer and don’t think I missed anything by not being online!

However now that 2020 is looming near, perhaps maybe it’s time to give dating a stab.

I don’t have anything to lose and could have a lot to gain. And if it ends up being not fun, well I can take a break from it.

I truly believe that things happen as they should be, so if I am meant to be with someone, I will be. If it is meant to be, it will be.

If I end up alone, then I guess that’s just how it is. It could be much worse. I am a lot of fun! Being in my own company is pretty good.

I really feel like I am on the edge of really growing into exactly who I should be and if my journey includes another person, great! I have made little to no effort for a long time and so, I suppose it can’t hurt to put forth some effort. If I come back empty handed, whatever.

I already like my own company. It would just be fun to sit with someone else across the table from me who I enjoy talking to now and then.

Hopefully, however it happens for me, I will be spending my 2020 with extra-good company in addition to my own.

To A Life Well-Lived,

Laura

Where Do You Stand With Your Man?

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Men are pretty simple I think. I don’t say that to be condescending or negative. I see the simplicity as a positive. Basically, if a man likes you, you know it. If he’s on the fence about you– you know it. If he doesn’t like you– you know it. Of course, there is always room for situational and individual differences. Some men may be shy or, unsure of how to read your signals in response to him, whether you’re a woman or another man. This may make him appear as more or less interested depending on the situation.

But as a general guide, here are some signs to notice when you’re trying to decide where you stand with a man.

1. How He Sees You & When He Sees You

If a man likes you, he makes an effort to see you despite his hectic schedule.

He also will make sure to see you to do things with you or to just hang and talk to you– not just to fool around.  Not that there is anything wrong with physical intimacy!  Intimacy is very important, but, there is a difference between physical intimacy and a hook up, so don’t count frequent texts to come over for “action” as an indicator of deep emotions.

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How to Handle Being Single at The Holidays

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Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash

Single at the holidays? It can make you feel that truly, baby– it’s damn cold outside! Not to mention those lonely mistletoes hanging around with no action to be seen. Of course, your bedroom isn’t seeing much action either, eh?

I think too many people put pressure to have love at the holidays. Not that I can blame them. Kissing at midnight when the ball drops? Champagne and bubble baths? Getting some warmth on these frigid December nights? It all sounds incredibly appealing …

So, what do you do then if you’re single? If you enjoy your single days– well then, yay! Simply bask in the joy of not having to buy someone else a gift. Or dealing with someone’s family.

However if it bothers you, here are some things to keep in mind: Continue reading