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Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Finding Treasure Among The Trash

In divorce, life, relationships, single mom on April 11, 2017 at 2:16 am

My one-year divorce-aversary is coming up quickly.

It’s made me stop to think about the year and overall, it’s been a rough one.

Every time I thought I had things under control, life would pull the rug under me and laugh saying, “Not so fast, blondie.”

There were some moments in which I thought—I just can’t do this. Many moments. The feeling was overwhelming, but then suddenly, I turned a corner. Not that I don’t sometimes feel defeated about caring for myself and my daughter on my own…not that I don’t look at my bank account and think, “When does it get better?” because I do… a lot.

Not that I don’t think, when another issue comes up with my ex, “What now?”

But that I believe wholeheartedly that I will manage it. Somehow, I managed when I thought I couldn’t during numerous moments throughout this year. And honestly, out of the three years we have been done with our marriage, this one was the hardest by far—proving that no two divorce journeys are alike.

And here it is spring. A time of new growth. A time of warmer sun. A time of longer days.

And for the first time, I will be without my child for six whole nights.

Originally when we split, we shared her time 50/50, and it was challenging making a life for myself when she was gone with dad. Then as her dad started to take less and less and less time with her, suddenly, it was the two of us again, attached at the hip just like we had been when I was a stay-at home mom.

I’ve never been apart from my daughter for this long. I’ve never missed the chance to dye eggs or see the bunny in time for Easter. It’s this time of the year that I am most sentimental about missing my stay-at home days with her… she just turned six and I still remember those days…the ones rocking her in her chair, her nursing to sleep. The ones in which we hopped from park to park, drawing on the sidewalks, writing letters, and swinging on swings…climbing to the top and me wondering if she wasn’t going just a little too high…or not.

How quiet the house is going to be for six whole nights…getting used to that silence. Getting used to being alone with my own thoughts.

 

Read more: Finding Treasure Among The Trash

Diamond in the Rough,

Laura

10 Ways You’re Making Him PANIC (And Back Away From Your Relationship)

In dating advice, relationships on April 11, 2017 at 2:12 am

Sometimes, it’s his own character or situation that provokes panic from your actions; in other cases, you do stuff to bring on panic that never existed.

There are many situations that can scare guys away and you have to decide if you’re causing him anxiety or if he’s dealing with issues that cause him to panic over everything. Here are 9 ways you’re scaring him away.

1. You mention marriage any moment you can.

Sure, things are going well for you and your guy, but you are pushing him to the edge with your marriage talk. He just got comfortable with the idea of you two being a solid, committed pair, and now, no matter what you two are doing, marriage is part of every conversation.

Emails with wedding ring images. Pinterest boards on weddings you just “happen” to send him links to. Pointing out couples that are engaged. You don’t even have regular conversations anymore. You’re making him panic hardcore.

2. You never let him reach out to you. 

You are the one to initiate every move and you’re not giving him the chance to let him chase you or make plans. Even if you’re not needy, it scares guys away and makes him think you’re going to suffocate him. It’s easy to be enthusiastic about someone you like. Just back off and let him do some of the driving. Men like to pursue.

Read More: 10 Ways You’re Making Him PANIC (And Back Away From Your Relationship)

Is He Afraid?

Laura

If Your Man is Like a Cat-Back Exhaust System, You’re In Luck

In dating, dating advice, men, relationships on March 29, 2017 at 7:09 pm

I never thought I would know anything about cars or men.

Actually, it’s debatable how much I know about the XX species—and I’m still learning about cars.

For a new job of mine, I’ve had to learn a lot about cars, trucks, performance driving, off-roading and then some. If you know me, you already know that all that stuff is Greek to me. But I’m a good student and hate to look stupid, so I’ve been doing my research. When it comes to men, I’ve made stupid mistakes sometimes, and I’m learning too—a work in progress trying to understand the sexy, mysterious and sometimes incredibly weird species, called males. Let’s just say…I have been researching men since age 3 and so far, I’ve yet to find that one guy that can capture me and throw me into his man cave for eternity.

But the other day, I had to write about Cat Back Exhaust Systems, and it made me think of men.

First of all, I knew zilch about exhaust systems, much less what a “cat” had to do with any of it.

But as I read on about mufflers, resonators, and horsepower, I realized that a man’s love or lack thereof, can be compared easily to a Cat Back.

Read the rest of this entry »

An Offer I Can’t Refuse: Dating & Hunting

In dating, dating advice, love, relationships on March 27, 2017 at 4:03 pm

The other day a friend of mine said, “All of a sudden the guys are coming out of the woodwork!” She had had a few good dates…and it seemed all the ex’s were popping up out of nowhere, randomly…and at once.

It’s always the case—for women at least…is it the same for men? I’m not sure. Guys—you’ll have to tell me.

Why is it that men seem to all come rushing for you at once, when just a month or even days ago, nobody had “boo” to say to you?

It’s the hunt.

Men smell when you don’t want them, need them or have forgotten them.

And then suddenly when they realize someone else is hunting you and you’re no longer an option to bring back to their cave,  men come around to mark their territory. Or at least try to. This isn’t to say guys pee on you—but you get the gist of it.

So for example, at the beginning of the year, I had quite a few dates. Two people I saw a few times…but nothing that rocked my world. Then suddenly—

Read the rest of this entry »

10 Things You (Unknowingly) Do That Make Men Think You’re A HOT MESS

In dating advice, relationships on March 16, 2017 at 1:11 am

You may wonder why you keep getting ghosted after a few dates. Maybe it’s not that you can’t start a relationship, but that you find that you can’t sustain a relationship. To you, it must be that the “guys” are the ones with the problems, and of course, it takes two to tango.

But it may be that you’re really a mess and don’t even realize it.

You may be doing things that signal to your potential partners and partners that you’re a hot mess. You may not even be “so messy” but may instead have learned bad relationship and life habits. Or, perhaps, you are truly a trainwreck in heels.

Whatever the case may be, you’re signaling to guys that you are a bloody hot mess. Here are 10 signs you’re a hot mess that makes guys run for the hills.

Read More: 10 Things You (Unknowingly) Do That Make Men Think You’re A HOT MESS

Messy, Messy, Messy,

Laura

11 Qualities Every Man Looks For in a Wife

In love, marriage, relationships on February 24, 2017 at 1:03 am

There is no “wife buyer’s guide” in which a man can browse and pick the perfect woman — and no, online dating certainly doesn’t count — but there are certain traits that every man looks for when picking his mate for life.

There will always be a degree of variance. For example, most men admire a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality, but some men may crave that trait more than others. Read on to learn what could make you “Mrs.” material.

Read More: 11 Qualities Every Man Looks For in a Wife

Wife Material,

Laura

10 Lies Men Will Tell You To Get What They Want

In Uncategorized on February 16, 2017 at 2:01 am

I always believed what men told me simply because I am honest to a “T.” I figured everyone else was as well. How could someone stand to lie to someone’s face?

As I got older and married and then divorced, I learned with experience that not everyone is honest, even if they’re a decent human being on the surface. Sometimes, men lie to save your feelings… or save their own.

Of course, sometimes men lie because, well… they’re not such nice people. It can be hard to fathom why someone might lie right to your face but the fact is, guys will do it if it means they will get what they want.

This isn’t to say that there aren’t genuine, kind and honest men or that there aren’t ruthless and crooked lying women out there. But sometimes, the lies men tell to get what they want are convenient.

Here are 10 lies men tell and why they do it.

Read More: 10 Lies Men Will Tell You To Get What They Want

Talk, Talk,

Laura

There’s A Difference Between Giving Up And Saying, ‘I’ve Had Enough’

In life, love, relationships on January 23, 2017 at 2:13 am

There is a fine line between being done with love, giving up before you should pull the plug, and ending a bad situation when you’ve hit that “f*ck this” point. There’s a difference between defeat and the admission of failure before you’ve even given something a chance, and finally getting tired of a circus act and throwing in the towel.

Giving up is a failure. It’s backing out of something due to fear of failure, anxieties of many kinds, or low self-esteem.

Cutting off a dead-end situation isn’t a failure. It’s a victory. It’s admitting that something or someone in your life is bad for you, to you or with you. It’s deciding to win. It’s making a better choice.

When you give up, you are cutting off a place or piece of you before it’s even begun. It’s the career you really wanted but were too afraid to go for. It’s meeting someone and feeling butterflies in the pit of your belly and running away because you don’t want him to end up like the others. It’s trying to achieve a fitness goal but realizing it’s going to take a lot of work and you’re too discouraged.

Giving up is when you see that your end result — whether it’s true love, more money, the better career — is difficult, time-consuming or risky, and you decide to back out before the curtains have even been pulled.

Read More: There’s A Difference Between Giving Up And Saying, ‘I’ve Had Enough’

Is it Failure or Victory?

Laura

Healthy Relationships Happen By Choice, Not By Chance

In love, relationships on January 5, 2017 at 3:34 am

Do you keep finding yourself in bad relationships that are toxic or abusive? Perhaps unfulfilling or too tumultuous?

Instead of saying, “Oh I just have bad luck” or “I always meet the weird ones” or “Why does this always happen to me?” you need to realize: these relationships aren’t happening to you by chance, but by choice.

People who know how to have healthy relationships did not simply “get lucky” at dating bingo; instead, they made smart, healthy choices about love and their life. That’s why they’re happily and healthily coupled.

Bottom line: a healthy relationship happens by choice, not by chance. Here are 5 signs you don’t know how to have a healthy relationship.

1. You always meet bad guys.

If you find that every guy you seem to meet is a scumbag, that could be chance… as long as you’re not getting involved with them. If you find that the people you meet and subsequently date are “bad apples,” this comes from how you feel about yourself.

Healthy, happy people do not tolerate bad apples for long, or a second even. Healthy, happy people leave a situation once they realize it’s bad. They don’t stay to end up wounded.

Read More: Healthy Relationships Happen By Choice, Not By Chance

True That,

Laura

Nervous About Meeting His Family Over the Holidays? Read This First

In dating, dating advice, love, relationships on December 12, 2016 at 3:23 am

Meeting your partner’s family for the first time can be stressful, but then top it off with meeting them at the holidays, no less, and you’ve got a recipe for nerves. Before you decide to run away, break up, or pretend to be sick, put these tips in your back pocket, put on your best outfit and shoes, and you’ve got this!

1. Pick Your Most Comfortable and Polished Outfit

Now is not the time to choose those pants that you can’t quite zip up or put on that racy blouse, even if your honey loves it. Choose an outfit in which you feel comfortable and look good — even if you think it’s a little dull.

Also watch your shirtsleeves — when you’re nervous, you tend to sweat more than you typically do. Having a comfortable outfit will make you at least feel at ease.

Read More: Nervous About Meeting His Family Over the Holidays? Read This First

You’ll Do Just Fine,

Laura