How to Get the Best Revenge on Someone Who Hurt You

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Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

When I got divorced, I did not want any revenge on my ex. I only wanted him to be happy. In general with most break ups I had, I wished the person well and we remained friends. A few didn’t want to be friends and a few I sort of didn’t really care for, but generally revenge is just not my cup of tea.

But occasionally, we all have someone who has cut us to the bone and disappointed us in such huge ways that it feels as if we will never be ok. Of course, someone great always comes around to show up that fool who hurt you, but in the meantime, dealing with the hurt can be challenging.

Here are “good ways” to get revenge so you can feel great and let the fool be smarting … not you!

Ignore The Person

In public. In private. Always. When you see the person, snub him or her. Don’t return a smile. Don’t be kind. Don’t be mean. Just ignore the person.

If that person hurt you, he or she doesn’t deserve your time.

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There Is Without a Doubt, Someone Out There For You– Dying to Be With You

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Photo by Maatla Seetelo on Unsplash

It seems impossible. There can’t possibly be someone out there.

You have been on every dating site. You have gone to dating events, bars, concerts, friend set-ups, community gatherings and are pretty sure you have met everyone on the planet.

And you like none of them. They all stink.

But for those who look closely and pay attention to the details, there will always be one.

One person who shows up when you least expect it.

One person who says yes. One person who doesn’t make you jump hoops to be with him/her.

One person who shows up, has something to offer and is willing to stick it out with you, no matter what. One person who likes you for your flaws and imperfections.

It may seem impossible but really anything is possible.

There are billions of people on this planet. What makes you think you’re so awful that there is no one created for you?

That is a lie.

Someone will show up. Someone good. Sift through the weeds. Pay attention to the red flags.

And amongst all the noise of bad online dates, weird people, flaky people and missed connections, someone will show up.

God Speed,

Laura

The Person Who Sews Your Heart Back Together

 

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Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

One day, when you have believed it to be impossible. One day, when you will have waited so long you don’t even remember a time when you weren’t waiting.

One day, when you have exhausted all hope and thrown all your cards in–

someone will show up and sew your heart back together.

She will stitch together the pieces your ex left when she cheated or ran you ragged.

He will knit and craft your broken heart edges that remained from your ex’s cruel words or lack of love.

This person will show up, and seem like a myth or a fable. This person will seem like a mirage or a hologram, but indeed:

He or she will be very, very, very real.

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The Power of New Love

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Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash

New love is amazing.

It’s the fulfillment that yes, good things do happen! It’s the hope that starts a new day. It’s the fire that starts under your butt when things are bad. Because even when things are bad, love carries us through.

Love has the power to heal the old wounds. To shush our fears and give us faith in things unseen and hoped for.

Love has the ability to make you work a little harder when really, you want to quit.

New love especially reminds you of all the times you cried, felt despair and pain.

New love says to those painful moments:  I saw you, I heard you and here I am to tell you that the bad times aren’t forever.

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10 Life Lessons I Learned From Being Disappointed

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Photo by ZACHARY STAINES on Unsplash

This week I had a few people disappoint me.

Plus, it was one of the hardest weeks I have had in the past few months. It was the last thing I needed– to be disappointed. Actually, does anyone ever need to be disappointed? No, but this week I just felt I took a real beating. Every day I had like 5-10 challenges. I’ve been trying to be mindfully positive each day as a resolution, and let me tell you this week put me to the test.

So, I’m sitting here and trying to think about some of the life lessons and positive spins I learned from being disappointed– and from this crappy week in general– as a positive take on the whole past seven days. Hopefully it can help someone else going through a rough day or week or, who’s dealing with disappointment.

Everyone makes mistakes, so maybe the person you disappointed still tried his/her best

The person may have had good intentions but perhaps that didn’t come across. No one is perfect. Maybe the person felt he or she was doing the best possible thing for you, even if it wasn’t what you needed.

Being disappointed sometimes shows you who values you and who doesn’t

Someone who values you will try hard to be there for you. Someone who doesn’t is bound to let you down. At least you know now that the person doesn’t care or value you.

Now you know the person lacks feelings and care for you.

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You Had a Great Date & The Person Flaked Afterwards– What Happened?

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Photo by Davids Kokainis on Unsplash

Had an amazing date and then–screech– he/she retreated or has been flaky?

It can leave you scratching your head wondering what the heck just happened.

Of course, most likely it has nothing to do with you! So that’s one positive thing.

I mean, if you had a great amazing date and the person then acts weird– most likely, he or she is weird, and not you.

Here are potential reasons you’re not getting asked out again after a wonderful date:

The person is seeing someone else

The person may have feelings for someone else or may be seeing other people.

If the person wasn’t honest with you about that– that can suck– but it’s his or her fault … not yours!

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5 Reasons Your Friend, Love Interest or Partner Is Flaky

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Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Some people are flaky by nature.  They leave everyone sitting around, waiting and waiting and waiting …

Their personalities make them go from person to person, or thing to thing without seeing anything through. They never settle down with anyone and their hobbies change by the minute. This type of individual doesn’t necessarily mean any harm. They just (I guess) go by the seat of his or her pants until boredom hits, and then a change is needed.

But, if you are often or are hurt by someone’s flakiness, this can be incredibly frustrating.

Here are 5 reasons someone might be flaky and unreliable:

They May Be Stressed

We all can be flaky sometimes– especially if we are stressed and feeling like we’re being pulled in too many directions. This can lead to missed meet ups and phone calls.

The person might just be extremely stressed and having a hard time juggling things. He or she may be going through tough times. I know when I have hard times I can be forgetful or may need to retreat in and out of my social sphere to manage my feelings.

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If You Can Remember The Day You Met Someone Happily– It’s a Gift

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Photo by Jorge Gardner on Unsplash

In a world where attention spans are about 0.2 seconds long and everyone has an agenda, running into a stranger and sparking a connection is really rare.

What are the chances of you meeting someone at Target or the corner deli?

They’re low but still– possible.

Can you remember the day you met someone special still?

Do you recall every detail by heart? Do you remember how you felt when you saw that person’s face or heard that person’s voice for the first time?

If you answered yes–  that’s a gift.

It is so rare that we have these special moments and even more rare to find people that we have special connections with.

It’s a shame that so many of us take the people we love for granted. That so many people don’t appreciate all that we have.

If this is you (and it’s quite possible that it is) ask yourself the following things:

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4 Signs You Are Unappreciated & It’s Affecting Your Emotions

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Do you ever feel as if the people around you– coworkers, lovers, family, friends, etc. don’t appreciate all you do? Especially the people who do less than you do while you’re out there being an awesome parent, or coworker or partner or friend?

You may not even realize that the frustration, sadness or just general annoyance you feel stems from feeling unappreciated– and nothing else.

When we put ourselves out there and don’t get either the support, feedback or love in return for all we do, it can take a toll on a person.

Consider the single parent who bears the load of two parents. Consider the coworker who is lifting the heavy load. Consider the friend who always calls the other. Consider the partner who always initiates contact– emotionally and physically.

If you are feeling sad, irritated, frustrated, mad or despondent, you may just feel unappreciated.

Here are 4 signs that the people in your life aren’t appreciating all you do– and it’s affecting your emotions:

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How to Deal When People You Care About Make Bad Choices

 

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Photo by trail on Unsplash

When dealing with someone who is resistant to what you want, no matter what it is, it’s important to just let it go and let the person “come” to the decision (or not) in his or her own time.

Whether it’s to be a good parent, be a committed loving partner, be healthier, be a helpful friend or simply make good choices for him or herself, it’s difficult to sit back and watch someone be “stuck” in his or her way of thinking.

For example:

-Your friend wants to keep dating an abusive guy– you wish for her to be free.

-Your love interest is amazing and the two of you click– but she is resistant to committing.

-Your co-parent is absent from your kids’ lives, and you want him to be available.

Your family member is sick and not caring for his health– and you’re worried for him.

What’s the common factor in these scenarios?

You want someone to do something, yet the person is resisting what you want.

It’s frustrating as hell, watching someone hurt him/herself or making a choice that’s keeping the person from being happy in the long run.

The hardest part in all of this is accepting that you can’t change your loved ones or people that matter to those you love.

So, what can you do?

When it comes down to it– give them what they want!

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