When You Can’t Go Further in a Relationship Due to the Other Person

Photo by Mr Xerty on Unsplash

 

Every relationship– friendship or romantic– has a path. Some are meant to go the distance and others, not so much. Some relationships– romantic ones– never even take off. And that I think, is the worst.

To fail at a relationship or marriage is really sad and challenging. Devastating. But to me, a relationship that never takes off is even worse.

There is the feeling that with a failed marriage or relationship, at least you got to try and give it your all. You can look back and say, “Sure, I made mistakes, but I still gave it my all most of the time.”

When you are with someone and feel the potential but it never comes to fruition, there is never that feeling of “I tried and failed– but hey! I tried!”

Instead, there is the feeling of “What if?” and “Why?”

“What happened?” and “What went wrong?”

Socially Distant Dates: Are You Going on Them or Avoiding Altogether?

mike-benna-SBiVq9eWEtQ-unsplashPhoto by Mike Benna on Unsplash

It’s a very weird time to be single and I’ve spoken to quite a few people who all have a different take on single life during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Some people, have said they have taken a break from online dating altogether. The idea of managing online dating while dealing with their various circumstances during the pandemic is too much. Others don’t feel comfortable at all meeting even 6 feet apart and others still, find the video calling and potentially long waits of meeting in person not worth delving into online at this time.

Others have taken the circumstances to work to their advantage: I know quite a few people are meeting in parks or speaking to each other from porches or stoops.  Other people still, are video calling or chatting via phone before meeting either in person at a park or, when restrictions are lifted. Some relationships are even taking off: from a socially distant park meet up, to deciding to socially distance together, including the new person in their social circle of who they will interact with during this public health crisis. I have to say that having a buddy and partner must make this  whole isolation easier and I commend people for making it happen during such a bleak time.

There is a lot to consider before making a call like this:

  • How safe do you feel meeting someone in a park? Meeting during the day is the best bet in an active park. Make sure someone knows where you are, who you are meeting and what time you’ll be back.
  • How much protection will you use? Meaning, will you wear a mask or just keep your distance or both?
  • How willing are you to even meet someone at this time? Not willing? Very willing?
  • How ready are you to incorporate a new person into your life?

I would love to hear people’s stories, opinions and experiences in the comments!

You could help someone make that call– many people are on the fence about what to do during this time.

Lots of Love,

Laura

4 Ways COVID-19 Showed Me People’s True Colors– & I’ll Never Forget This

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Photo by Zach Ahmajani on Unsplash

This virus has been the most difficult thing any of us have experienced in a lifetime– unless perhaps, if you were also alive during the 1918 Flu.

Challenging for everyone for different reasons, this virus has put all of our characters and collective sanity on the line.

But one thing is for sure, after this is all done, I will never ever forget the four different ways COVID-19 showed me people’s true colors. Not ever.

1. I learned who helps and who is just hot-air

The people who have helped myself and my daughter have been so valuable. There is nothing like having support when you are trying to raise a little girl on your own. There is nothing like having people who want to help and make things better for you.

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What It’s Like When Someone Likes You, BUT Doesn’t Like You Enough

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Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

When I was in my twenties, I dated this guy who was very much my type, but also really flaky. Hot and cold, he wanted the relationship but didn’t want the relationship. I really liked him and wanted the relationship, but he would change his mind a lot. It was annoying.

I hit my breaking point one day as I was going to visit my family for the holidays from the city, where I was living. I was sad and tired. Sad of him being a flaky pain in my butt. Sad of feeling neglected and also, on his back and forth path. Enough was enough. I wanted off his space cadet tour.

I told him I was done, but happy to be friends.  I knew it wouldn’t be super easy to be friends, but I knew I would be happier and honestly, he had gotten on my nerves so much that I was at a point where I didn’t feel the same way about him.  I lost the attraction for the most part, too. Being his friend worked for me. A few months after I told him I was done, he tried holding my hand when we went to a movie. I looked at him like, “WTF,” and told him “Nope.”

He stuck to the friendship boundaries for the rest of the friendship, but, still occasionally veered off track by flirting inappropriately or saying how he wished he had given me a real chance. I avoided all that nonsense because to me, I had put him in the friend zone. I had had enough. He had had his chance. Laura was done. He had regrets– and me? I had none.

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3 Warning Signs That Your Guy/Gal Is Going to Hurt You 100%

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Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash

Some people should come with warning signs on them, but unfortunately, life isn’t that easy. Even if it were, people would still probably go out with “dangerous” individuals.

I’ve met a lot of people in my time and have sat back and watched a lot the last few years.  I’ve learned that while some people are really good at hiding stuff, there are a lot of warning signs that a man or woman is going to hurt you– and good– if you just pay attention and be smart. Keeping your guard up until you know someone is a smart move. It doesn’t mean you give no one a chance– but it means you give people a chance and reciprocate slowly in kind to their hopeful positive actions.

So basically, in the meantime, keep an open mind but also, open eyes as you get to know others. They may reveal themselves before they want to if you pay attention. It’ll save you time so you don’t waste yours. Your time is precious!

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11 Things That Make Me Happy During the Covid-19 Outbreak

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It probably sounds ironic to mention the word happy next to Covid-19, but if you’re home social distancing … you’ve got to find some semblance of happiness or you’ll go crazy. And that’s ok,too: losing your mind at times is pretty normal also.

With that said, you have to find the silver linings in all of this or you won’t ever be “ok.”

For me, it’s the following things:

Tyson Chicken

A friend brought me a bag of this crispy Tyson chicken, and I just love it. Even when I’m not hungry due to stress, I’m always in the mood for more CHICKEN.

Tea and a Good Book

I love chai tea and I love to read. These two creature comforts make me feel more relaxed.

Sweet Messages

My one friend always makes a point to send me positive messages, telling me I’m doing great taking care of my little lady or that he thought I looked great and am working hard during a virtual workout.

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Is Your Love a 100 or a 0? Loving Actions Add Up!

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Photo by Bernard Hermant on Unsplash

This is a trying time for everyone, regardless of your class, ethnicity, marital status, etc.

So, under these trying times, is your partner or love interest taking time to be loving with positive actions? Are you taking time to be loving? Is your love interest available and considerate of your feelings?

Here are a few things that add up in a positive way. If your partner or love interest isn’t doing these things, he or she isn’t “adding” up to much.

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Someone Who Really Cares Wants The Commitment & Wants You

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https://unsplash.com/@erik_lucatero

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my life it’s that people who care about you want you and want the commitment. They want the time with you. They want to work to make the relationship happen. They want you and will do their best to make you happy. They want the relationship to succeed and that means, making sacrifices and working to be the best individual and partner they can be.

Someone who doesn’t commit, doesn’t care.
Someone who is selfish or distant, doesn’t care.
Someone who isn’t consistent and isn’t available, doesn’t care.
He or she may like you as a friend. He or she may like you for just sex. He or she may think you’re a good person.
BUT— if he or she doesn’t commit, that person doesn’t want you and doesn’t care.

Commitment shows someone values you. Make no mistake about it.

Tale As Old As Time,

Laura

5 Signs Someone Sees You as Replaceable & Disposable

kelly-sikkema-E8H76nY1v6Q-unsplashPhoto by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Ever felt as if you put  out all your effort, affection and love for someone, only for them to be hot and cold– changing moods and personalities?

You wonder what causes the person to change so rapidly. You start to wonder if you’re doing something wrong.

Ever felt as if you aren’t good enough for your partner? WORSE, that the person tells you you’re not good enough or the relationship isn’t good enough? That  the person seems impossible to please or keep happy? Nothing you do is good enough?

You wonder how this person can complain or find fault or find flaws in you and your relationship, when there you are doing everything possible to be patient, understanding and loving with them and your very best?

Ever felt as if someone could do with you … or without you, depending on the mood?

You wonder how you could remotely predict what this person thinks or feels. You wonder WHAT could possibly be good enough for such a person! What could you do to be remotely good enough, when you’re already trying really hard to be “good enough.”

There you are, doing everything for the person– being your 100% loving and warm self, while that person treats you as disposable or replaceable?

Here are 5 clear signs the person you’re seeing finds you as replaceable, disposable and doesn’t care about you:

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When You Finally Hit the End of the Road

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Everyone has a threshold of pain, crap, stress, fatigue and nonsense that he or she can take.

I hit mine.

At some point, the pavement ends for all of us. We’ve had our fill and we can’t tolerate or stomach anymore.

You can only be strong for so much, for so long. No one is made of steel. No one is so strong that he or she can’t be weak and succumb to whatever it is that is causing you pain.

Especially when people are pushing you down when you are at your weakest.

I have always had a big heart and tried/try to do the right thing, but apparently news flash, other people don’t.

How many times can one be taken for granted or hurt?

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