If You Think Sex With Your Husband Is a Chore, You’re in Trouble

I was killing some time on social media when I found a particularly interesting post about suggested gifts for a partner. A few of the women joked that sex would be their gift to their partner. The main gist was: I know he really wants sex, so I’ll just do it for him this time. That’ll be his gift.

There was a huge response from other women that screamed, “That’s right, girl! Throw him some sex and keep him quiet for a bit.”

I didn’t comment. I was a bit floored.

I’ve never understood the whole “sex as a chore” trope between couples. Although as it’s been played out on sitcoms (and, apparently, my social media feed), the dominant thread seems to be more often than not, women feeling imposed on by partners to have sex. Just like watering a plant, it sounds like something one must do in order to get on with their day.

Not that anyone should be forcing or pressuring a partner to have sex, but the view that sex is a job and chore to be checked off on a list and not a pleasure is extremely problematic for so many reasons.

Read More: If You Think Sex With Your Husband Is a Chore, You’re in Trouble

No Bueno,

Laura

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10 Men Share How They Know Whether A Woman Is Short-Term Fun Or Worthy Of A Long-Term Relationship

Have you ever wondered what makes a guy settle down? Have you ever watched a lifelong bachelor finally decide on someone? What about your guy friends? Have you seen them swoon over one woman and act indifferent to another? Have you, as a woman, sat there before or during a date and made some sort of strategy, whether it was to hold off on kissing, sex, or avoiding or encouraging certain kinds of conversations?

I’ve spent a lot of time wondering how men categorize women they meet, strategizing and deciding how much of myself to reveal, give or offer up. After all, that’s what will make a good relationship in the long-run.

It’s always seemed straightforward: if a woman really likes a man, she should make him work for it and not give up too much. Because if a woman is too quick to hop in bed or seems to be too eager to be involved, a man puts her in that “short-term fling” category, instead of someone he’d want a long-term relationship with.

Read More: 10 Men Share How They Know Whether A Woman Is Short-Term Fun Or Worthy Of A Long-Term Relationship

Get the Scoop,

Laura

13 Signs You’ve DEFINITELY Met Your Sexual Soulmate

When you meet someone and all the stars align into one huge (or many delightful) orgasms and your skin is glowing like you’re lit up from the inside, you’ve met your sexual soulmate! You know finding good sex isn’t always easy and finding your sexual soulmate is like hitting the jackpot.

When two bodies align in one supernova fantasy, it’s pretty damn amazing. Here are 13 signs you’ve met your sexual soulmate.

1. They listen without judgment.

You know that moment when you get a sexual idea in your head but you’re afraid to bring it up in case the other person says, “No way!” and thinks you’re a total freak? Your sexual soulmate listens to your sexual ideas with an eagerness akin to a dog begging for a bone. Your sexual soulmate wants to hear what you have to say, even if, ultimately, he or she doesn’t say yes to your sexual need. This person also doesn’t judge.

2. You want sex at the same time.

Some people like it all the time. Others like it at certain times of the month. Your sexual soulmate will want sex with the same frequency as you, whether it’s only on Sundays or every damn day of the week.

Read More: 13 Signs You’ve DEFINITELY Met Your Sexual Soulmate

Kismet,

Laura

8 Reasons Why Being Single is Sexy

It’s always a party when someone gets engaged or married. Wahoo! It’s the best. Couple’s life…right?

Not always. Not everyone was born to be married to the same person for the rest of his or her life, and that’s ok. In fact, there are many unhappily married people out there. Enough to make you wonder how viable the institution is in the first place. Of course—there’s nothing wrong with marriage…but there’s also nothing wrong with being single. It can be a happier and in fact, more liberating choice for so many damn reasons that no one should be surprised to meet someone over 30 who decided not to “tie the knot.”

Being single is sexy and a lot of times, it’s sexier.

Here’s why:

1) They Don’t Let Themselves Go

I’m sorry but way too many married people take their coupledom as an excuse to let themselves go. There’s nothing wrong with a doughnut or three, but disregarding your health and letting your body go isn’t good for anyone long-term, single or married.

Read More: 8 Reasons Why Being Single is Sexy

One is the Hottest Number,

Laura

5 Ways Sex Makes You a Better Mom and Employee

Listen up, girlfriends: All those times you’ve been saying you’ve got a headache is secretly jeopardizing your home and employment life. Having more sex makes you a better employee—and mother! No, really. The more times you hop in the sack, the more likely you are to hit a home run at work and with the kiddos. Here’s why:

1. You’ll Get Better Sleep

Having sex helps you get better sleep—something we could all use. As you bond with your partner, your body secretes the hormone oxytocin, often called “the love hormone.” That’s also the same hormone responsible for bonding with your baby, especially when nursing. Thanks to oxytocin, your body will be more relaxed, so you’ll be less stressed, leading to better sleep for you, mama.

And with better sleep comes a brighter morning handling a bunch of kids before running off to work and kicking serious butt in the office. So say yes next time your significant other wants to get frisky. Maybe you’ll get a raise, too!

 

Read More: 5 Ways Sex Makes You a Better Mom and Employee

Do It Tonight,

Laura

How to Use Wine in the Bedroom

You’ve met a very discerning man or a scintillating lady of taste. You’ve been on your very best behavior. You mentioned your stint in the Peace Corps twice and then once more because they were rustling their napkin the first time and chewing loudly the second. You dropped mention of all your charity works and in between describing all the joys you have brought to the less fortunate, you remembered to flash your abs, flex your arms, or push out your chest and bat your eyelids. The mating dance is officially complete, and it’s finally that time: the Sexy Time. 

But all your grad school accomplishments and your fancy office and your good deeds won’t get your new amour in bed quite like a great bottle of wine will. Here’s how to use wine in the bedroom:

Read More: How to Use Wine in the Bedroom

Va-va Voom!

Laura

8 Ways To Know The TRUE Difference Between Having Sex & Making Love

In my dirtiest opinion, there is room for both f*cking and making love. If you have a partner that you can’t f*ck and only make love to, or vice versa, you’ve got the wrong partner.

A hearty and fulfilling sex life has a little of both, and most of the time, couples go through stages in which they’re “making love” all the time or “f*cking” all the time. It’s simply part of the life cycle of the relationship.

But in the early stages of the relationship, it’s when the cycle happens rapidly. Sometimes, if you’re with a new partner and wondering where it’s going, you’ll start to analyze the sex. Is it just banging, or is he connecting with you?

Bottom line: Is it f*cking or making love? Here are the differences.

1. When you’re making love, your vulnerability levels are high.

When you’re making love, the vulnerability level is high. People start to share words and feelings that they didn’t before. Don’t be surprised if her eyes, or yours, well up a little. This is when both of you let down your guard. This is when risk and reward comes into play.

Do you tell him you love him? Do you tell her you love her? Are you becoming so close that it’s difficult and scary? Are you becoming so close that it’s hard to imagine any other moments happening without him or her? This is making love.

2. When you’re f*cking, the vulnerabilities are there, too… it’s just different.

On the flip side, when you’re f*cking, the vulnerabilities lie in the two of you sharing some freaky stuff that might make the other person turned off. If your freak flag doesn’t fly with this new partner’s, the party shuts down. The vulnerabilities lie in: Is the sex going to suck? Are we going to lose chemistry? If I let my sexual needs show, will they be received well, or not?

Read More: 8 Ways To Know The TRUE Difference Between Having Sex & Making Love

Which Is It?

Laura

Why Men Want A FREAK In The Sheets & A LADY In The Streets

What do men want? I constantly wonder. To me, they’re often mysterious creatures just as much as women are to them.

But there are two things I have learned about men that I think stands the test of time: if you’re a freak in bed, they don’t want you advertising it. They don’t want the whole world to know that their woman likes it hard, often and nasty. They don’t want other men knowing you want it kinky, wild or frequently.

Unfair, isn’t it? Damn right. But it’s the truth. Why? Think about it: Your man might love to brag to his friends that you’re kinky, wild and like sex often. Your man might want to say to all the guys complaining that their women “don’t give them any,” that “My woman satisfies me all the time. And then some.”

He might want you to go out and wear something sexy. He may absolutely love it when other men look at you and find you desirable. He doesn’t want his friends to ogle your body; he wants them to appreciate your beauty.

Read More:Why Men Want A FREAK In The Sheets & A LADY In The Streets

Just Saying,

Laura

How to Tell If Your Body Image Is Negatively Affecting Your Sex Life

The two of you are there, in the middle of the most passionate and intimate act — sex — when your hideous and incorrect views of your body cause discomfort, displeasure, or sadness in the middle of the deed! Except here comes the worst part: you don’t even know that this is happening but your partner, who is the victim as well in your bad body image game, is aware. Painfully so. You may not even realize it, but your toxic feelings about your body are ruining the most precious and intimate aspect of your relationship. Here are four signs that your body image is negatively affecting your sex life.

1. You Experiment Less

Because you think your thighs, butt, or what have you are too big, too small, or not right, you experiment less in the bedroom. You’re uncomfortable in your skin and so you’re not ready to jump into a sexual relationship feeling confident and free. Instead, you’re feeling burdened and restrained.

Read More: How to Tell If Your Body Image Is Negatively Affecting Your Sex Life

It’s Damaging,

Laura

When to Accept It’s Over For You

I hesitated to write this but felt compelled to get it off my petite shoulders.

I am happily single but there is one thing that I have yet to grapple with. The fact that it is over.

Oh not my marriage. That I am totally fine with being over. Yes, I said that. I am fine with having a divorce. I am not grieving the end anymore. I am sure once I get word that my divorce is final that I may feel some sadness but to be honest, I am not sure there will be any more pain. I am done, done, done. And so is he. That chapter is long shut.

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