Why This Working Mom Loves Stay-at-Home Moms

I have been on both sides of the great motherhood coin.

I was once the stay-at-home mom (SAHM) who worked from home at night, or on Sundays strictly part-time, but I was mostly home. I didn’t miss a day with my daughter, and now, I am a working single mother who uses after care and, sometimes, before care. From managing the home front full-time to working 9-to-5 or later full-time, I have done it all. I can tell you the pros and cons of both situations. I can wax poetic on the battles I had as an SAHM, versus the battles I have now as a working parent.

No matter which side of the coin you are on, parenting is a hard job.

I have never understood why other women feel the need to make anyone else’s parenting choice — whether it to be at home or to work — their business. No one’s situation is the same, and for many of us, our situations change and develop as our kids grow. As mothers, we have seasons in our lives in which we have to decide how to prioritize our time, money, and lives based around our kids’ unique developmental needs.

So bottom line, how does putting someone else down for her choice or comparing your situation to someone else’s make anything any better?

Read More: Why This Working Mom Loves Stay-at-Home Moms

Thank You Ladies,

Laura

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3 Things Stay-at-Home Moms DON’T Want to Hear

Back when I was a stay-at home mom (before my working-mom days) there were quite a few people who would throw these seemingly “innocent little” phrases out at me or at other mothers that were insulting to the core. Whether a woman is a stay-at-home mom by choice, because day care is too expensive, or both — or heck any other reason, doesn’t mean she’s home living it up and eating bon-bons. OK? Thanks!

I Wish I Could Stay Home All Day

I see a LOT of moms do this now in moms’ groups and private boards. As a working parent I understand missing being home, seeing my kid more and the struggle of working-mom life, but comments like the one above is all-out nasty. It makes it sound as if a mother is staying home doing nothing.

Read More: 3 Things Stay-at-Home Moms DON’T Want to Hear

Supporting All Women & Moms,

Laura

Why You Deserve to Go Back to School

You’ve had kids and either your career is stalling or you’re a stay-at-home mom who doesn’t have a career to return to (or one you want to go back to!), so you think to yourself, “Why don’t I go back to school and finally get a degree, finish my degree, or further my education?”

Everyone thinks it’s a fantastic idea: your in-laws, your partner, and your friends.

Besides you.

There’s this tiny little voice inside your head that says a little too loudly: “You don’t deserve to go back,” or “You’ll fail.” A part of you even believes that you’re being selfish and a bad mother for wanting to do something for yourself. That’s because “mother culture” says we’re supposed to put the kids first always, and that doing something for oneself means we’re selfish, self-absorbed moms who don’t really care about their kids. This, my friends, is a whole load of BS. There are a million reasons going back to school IS a kick-butt idea! And if you doubt it or perhaps your partner doubts it, let me convince you both.

Read more: Why You Deserve to Go Back to School

Teacher, Teacher– Can You Teach Me?

Laura Lifshitz

Does Your Partner Resent You For Staying at Home?

You have the talk with your partner, and the two of you decide it’s in the best interest for you to stay home and raise the kids, whether it’s for a few months, a few years, or life. Everything seems settled and agreed upon . . . until it’s not. Little comments and questions pop up out of nowhere from your partner regarding your “at-home” status, and so you start to feel defensive. Isn’t being a mother valuable, and furthermore, isn’t this what you two decided upon? Here are a few signs that your partner isn’t too happy about your stay-at home position and how to handle it.

Read More: Does Your Partner Resent You For Staying at Home?

Talk About The Tough Topics,

Laura

Why Stay-at-Home Moms Are Amazing (by a Working Mom)

I am a working mom, but I was once a mom who stayed at home. The battle between the two “sects” of motherhood (not sure what else to call it) seems to be something that may never die. In my opinion, whether you’re home for your kids or you’re paying for day care, being a mom isn’t a job, but it is a choice — a choice to raise another being to hopefully contribute positively to our world. And some moms make the choice to stay home either because their incomes don’t allow for day care, or because they just want to and have made smart financial choices to help them be home. The deck cuts the same way for a mom who works: some of us work because we don’t have the finances and support to stay home, some because we want to work, and perhaps some because of a mix of both reasons. No matter what “sect” you’re in, I feel women should support each other and not look to prove who has it the worst or who has it the best. That’s way too simple in itself: one SAHM could have an easy life and the other not. You can’t make blanket statements about any group of people or style of mothering. Life is too complex. Just try to be supportive of the choices your friends make whether it’s to be home for life, be home for two years, or be a CEO mom. That’s the best way we can support mothers and help each other succeed instead of contribute to tearing each other down, something women cannot stand to do.

Read More:Why Stay-at-Home Moms Are Amazing (by a Working Mom)

Love To All The Mommies,

Laura

Mom in the Mirror

Dear Mom in the Mirror:

You didn’t make anything homemade today.

All you do was heat up leftovers, slacker.

Your kid was bad in the store today, so you had to withdraw a privilege, and now you feel like crap.

You know it had to be done, but you work so much Mom, that when you have to be Bad Cop, which it always seems that that role is on you, it hurts.

Shouldn’t you have predicted your kid would act out? Shouldn’t you have known Mom?

What are you doing wrong to make your kid act so out of character?

Are you a bad Mom, mom?

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