The Top 7 Things I Want in a Partner

 

taylor-ann-wright-s6DBKueaX-g-unsplashPhoto by Taylor Ann Wright on Unsplash

I’m not picky. I am selective when it comes to a partner. Picky sounds snobbish and difficult. Selective sounds patient and also, smart. Which I am.

I have become pretty comfortable in my high-energy, quirky and lovable skin. Effusive and sometimes incredibly rambling, I know my strengths and weaknesses.

At this stage of the game, I know what I want from a partner. I know what I don’t want.

Mostly, I want someone who doesn’t get in my way of growing. I want someone who wants to have fun and go balls-to-the wall about life. As my parents have grown older and I have become a single mom, I realized that life is too short and it changes too fast. Have fun now. Take chances now. Be in the moment.

So, no, I am not open to everyone, nor should I be.

The characteristics I find the most appealing in a man are:

Kindness & Humility

I don’t need a tough guy. I like someone who is diplomatic and thoughtful, not a brute.

Tell me your honest thoughts without being hurtful. You can be precise without being cutting.

Action-driven & Not Lazy

Have interests. Be passionate about something.

Make consistent efforts with me and take charge. If you want to be involved with me, prove you deserve that chance.

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When Nothing Gets Easier & Everything Gets Harder, Even The Strong Need Support

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Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

One of the hardest things about being the youngest of four kids with a large age gap between me and the other 3 kids, is that my parents are older and unable to support me and be there for me in the way I wish they could. I understand why they can’t though, especially with my mom’s health issues, but it is still hard. They root for me on the sidelines, but because they are dealing with a lot– I cannot at their age ask for too much. In fact, I try to give instead of take when it comes to them. They paid their dues in their eighties to be helped instead of burdened.

Still, it makes it really challenging– especially when going through a very hard situation knowing that they can’t physically be there for me.

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9 Ways Strong Women Are Better At Relationships Than The Rest Of Us

Strong women handle a relationship differently than women who are just not that strong. And that’s often a good thing and not a bad thing, despite the stereotypes surrounding it. From the first date to the act of commitment, a strong woman has so many feelings and values that dictate how she manages, selects, and opens up to a partner.

All too often, though, people make assumptions about strong women that are false. They’ll say a strong woman is too picky, too cold, or too independent. The list goes on and on. Strength is seen as a barrier to commitment when it really makes her a better and stronger partner. But any real man can appreciate her for these qualities.

So, from one strong woman’s heart and voice, here are 9 things strong women do completely different in relationships than other women who aren’t quite there yet.

1. She can live with or without you.

She doesn’t need you to make her life. Her life is already made. You, as her partner, simply just add to it. Maybe you find that a bit scary. Maybe you worry she’ll get bored of you or won’t need you.

That’s not the case. If she picked you, she picked you, but she knows that her happiness depends on her and not you or anyone else.

Read More: 9 Ways Strong Women Are Better At Relationships Than The Rest Of Us

Strong Enough,

Laura

9 Reasons It’s Completely Okay (And Normal) For A Strong Woman To Need A Man

One of my biggest pet peeves as a single mom is when people tell me how strong I am; that I’m so strong, I don’t need a man. When manual labors present themselves, random friends from the “friend choir” will say, “You can do it yourself! I do it myself. I don’t need a man.”

Don’t get me wrong. I can do plenty myself. I’m very independent and I run a household alone and have for almost four years. I consider myself a feminist too, but since when was needing someone so terrible?

Okay, so “needing” someone in a needy, clingy way is a turn-off. Codependency is a turn-off. Needing someone in your life to partner with you is not. It’s really more about wanting a strong partner.

Why does being a feminist or a strong woman have to translate as not needing a man (or woman, depending on your preference)? There are many reasons why strong women need men and why it’s normal. She should never have to apologize for it. Here’s why.

1. Teamwork makes the dream work.

A strong woman has a great foundation in which a partnership can build something even more fabulous. There’s nothing wrong with going solo, but wanting a partner to carry out big dreams and ideas is great.

Sorry haters, but it takes two to row a boat. There’s no shame of wanting someone on board the ship.

Read More: 9 Reasons It’s Completely Okay (And Normal) For A Strong Woman To Need A Man

The Power of Two,

Laura

13 Things That Inevitably Happen When You’re Raised By A Strong Mom

In my eyes as a child, no one — not even my dad — was more powerful than my mom, who I nicknamed “The Strong Woman.” She couldn’t lift elephants with one hand like the “Strongman” at the circus who lifts weights with his nipples and animals with one hand, but her personality and presence were striking enough that when she needed to intimidate or make an impression, she sure did.

Just ask the kids I grew up next to who made the mistake of teasing me, only to find my mom outside their front doors yelling in her heavy Brooklyn accent. When you’re raised by a strong woman, there is no doubt that these 13 things will happen to you:

Read More: 13 Things That Inevitably Happen When You’re Raised By A Strong Mom

Apple From The Tree,

Laura