7 Reasons You Should Give Zero F*cks If Your Kid Isn’t Potty Trained Yet

So your kid isn’t potty trained yet? To hell with you! What kind of mother are you anyway?

Kidding.

Really, everyone learns to use the bathroom in his or her own time and we all know there are some adults that still “miss” the toilet, so is this really a tragedy? Does it really matter if your kid pees in a pull-up or in the super special Star Wars undies you bought for them? The answer to all these is a resounding NO.

Here are just seven reasons you should care less if your kid still isn’t potty-trained:

1. They Won’t Wear a Diaper to the Prom

Eventually, your child will get it. He won’t be begging you to change his diaper or wipe his butt as he rides off with a girl who looks older than you and like she might have an R-rated Instagram account.

2. Underwear Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up to Be

Really. Have you ever had your kid complain about a wedgie? Diapers are comfy, cushy and soft. Underwear rides up butts. You’ll just love when your kid pulls at their undies in public and another human laughs at your child—or worse—your kid insists these are the “worst underwear” ever.

Yes, that is an ACTUAL thing that children do to their parents in order to torture them. My daughter constantly tells me her undies are too tight or too loose. Meanwhile, they look perfectly fine to me. Argh!

Read More: 7 Reasons You Should Give Zero F*cks If Your Kid Isn’t Potty Trained Yet

Chillax,

Laura

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The 5 Stages of the Toddler Tantrum

Your toddler is adorable as pie until suddenly, he’s face down kicking and screaming in the middle of Victoria’s Secret (yeah, whose idea was it to bring him? Well, you really needed to use that sweet coupon…) and making a whole big scene.

What did you do that was so offensive to said toddler? Oh, say the word “No.”

Telling a toddler no is a guaranteed way to earn yourself one big fat tantrum, but hey, that’s just all part of development, right mom?

Before you send your toddler packing to a sweatshop to make overpriced toys or sweatshirts, you should buck up mom, and simply learn and understand the delicate process of the toddler temper tantrum.

Stage 1: This Isn’t Going to Go My Way, Is It?

This is right when your toddler realizes that mom is about to say no or do something said toddler doesn’t want her to do. It’s when your toddler understands that she’s not going to get her way. It’s when your toddler starts to turn red, get fidgety or simply, start to raise the volume of her cry or of her voice. This stage always happens in public.

Read More: The 5 Stages of the Toddler Tantrum

It Gets Ugly,

Laura

11 Things All Parents of Preschoolers Think

If you’re the proud parent of a preschooler, then you will understand what it’s like to be befuddled by the little things they do. For example, did you ever truly believe 4-year-old girls could form cliques? Or that your preschooler would go to school sharing details about mommy’s “magic vibrating wand”? Oh, the preschool years are so precious! And sometimes . . . so dreadfully embarrassing. If you have a preschooler you just can’t live without, you will most likely think and relate to all of these things in this list.

Everything Is Poopy. Everything 

It doesn’t matter what the joke is, the punchline is always poopy. Poopy this and poopy that. You’re pretty tired of fecal matters and, in fact, every time you see the poop emoji, you want to vomit. If someone even says a word that starts with “P,” you instantly cover your ears thinking, “No, not again!”

Why Are They Wearing That? 

If your child wears the most bizarre ensembles and you cannot understand for the life of you why your 4-year-old needs to wear earmuffs in June, you are the proud parent of a preschooler!

Read More: 11 Things All Parents of Preschoolers Think

It’s a Wonderful Time in Childhood,

Laura

Is Your Child Possessive? Here’s Why

Children can be possessive for a number of reasons, particularly during the toddler “it’s mine” stage. Signs of possessiveness include:

  • Unwilling to share toys
  • Unwilling to share a parent, both parents, or a favorite friend
  • Possessiveness over a new sibling
  • Possessiveness over a space or favorite part of a room or setting
  • Bossing around or cutting out other kids from playtime or other activities

If your child is possessive during the toddler years, it’s up to us as parents to not only deal with this developmental stage but to also encourage how to share and when perhaps not to share depending on where your parenting views fall when it comes to sharing. However, a child can be possessive either during or not during the toddler years for a variety of reasons, such as divorce, a move, a new school, the loss of a parent or loved one, the birth of a new sibling, and other reasons. Here are a few situations that may make your child show the green jealousy eye rather frequently.

Read More: Is Your Child Possessive? Here’s Why

Laura

Yes, My 4-Year-Old Does Chores and No, She Isn’t Always Rewarded For Them

The other day I posted an image of my daughter’s chore chart on Facebook alongside with a photo of her swiffering. Many parents eagerly clicked “like” and said how great it was that I have my young daughter actively taking care of the home she lives in. Of course, I had a few other people say how long her list was and how it was “way too much for a young kid to do.”

On the list her chores are:

Bring in the mail
Clean & set plate
Put away shoes when you get home
Put dirty laundry in hamper
Help mom fold laundry
Help put laundry away
Swiffer play area
Wipe down bathroom sink with mom’s help
Dust with mom’s help
Make bed
There are no consequences if she DOESN’T do her chores, and many are ones in which she helps me rather than does the chore alone.

Read More: Yes, My 4-Year-Old Does Chores and No, She Isn’t Always Rewarded For Them

Let Them Do The Work,

Laura

Are You Making Dad the Bad Guy?

Every time there’s discipline to be given out, you call on Dad to break out the tough act. As much as you know your child is making a bad choice, you can’t seem to command respect from your child or pull the trigger when it comes to discipline, so there’s your partner, the dad, putting on the tough-guy act.

If you see yourself in the above paragraph, you might be making Dad the bad guy all the time, and that’s not good. While many of us were more intimidated by the idea of an angry father than an angry mother growing up, when we make Dad the “bad guy” all the time, it’s not much fun for Dad, not to mention our children will not grow to have a decent, healthy respect for us. Not that fear equals respect, because it doesn’t, but if we are the ones to give out consequences and show that we are comfortable doing so, our kids will respect us and what we are asking.

Read More: Are You Making Dad the Bad Guy?

Be A Strong & Consistent Voice in Your Home Ladies,

Laura

12 Signs You’ve Picked a Great Preschool

Choosing a preschool for your little one can be worrisome for a mom, but if you think you have found a winning school yet you’re still on the fence, here are 12 signs you’ve picked a great preschool for your little one!

Your Kid Had a Blast at the Visit

Did your child really enjoy visiting the preschool? If so, you’ve picked a good spot. Children are honest, and if they’re not happy, they won’t tell you otherwise. If the teachers could get your child to interact and explore in the preschool at a visit, it’s a good sign that your child will be able to happily adjust to this school.

Did you not take a tour? Oh no! Moms, tours are a must. Schools should allow kids to see the room and get a feel for the atmosphere.

Friendly Staff

If the staff is willing to answer your questions without sounding rude or abrupt, and if they sound welcoming as well as put you at ease, your child (and you) are in good hands. You want to feel as if the staff is approachable and willing to work with parents, especially if this is the first kid you’re sending to preschool!

Read More: 12 Signs You’ve Picked a Great Preschool

Apple for the Writer,

Laura

6 Signs You Are in Denial Over Your Child’s Problem

When our kids have problems, it’s the worst feeling in the world as a parent. All we want to do is solve the problem, but sometimes we can’t. Even still, sometimes as parents . . . we deny that there’s a real issue in the first place. Most of the time when this happens, it’s not because a parent is stupid, but that a parent has such strong emotions about the matter that ignoring those ugly and sad feelings is easier than rolling up their sleeves and dealing with those feelings and the problem at hand. As a teacher, I used to see this all the time. A parent would brush off our concerns, refuse to communicate with me and the staff, or put the blame on the school. It was frustrating, but now, as a parent, I have more empathy for those parents who were in “Denial Land.”

Here are a few signs that you may be blowing off a child’s problem and living in that land called “Denial!”

Read More: 6 Signs You Are in Denial Over Your Child’s Problem

Be Aware,

Laura

6 Strategies to Teach Your Angry Kid to Calm Down

Like most humans, kids get angry, except for when young children get angry, they don’t always know the right way to let off steam leaving you the mom with a heated child who’s having a wicked temper tantrum. How do you get your kid to express his or her anger in a positive way? When my ex-husband and I separated, my daughter struggled with letting out her anger simply because she was 3 and so young when we began the divorce process and didn’t (and still doesn’t quite) understand divorce. It’s complicated enough for adults to grieve the end of a marriage, much less a toddler or preschooler. So we sought out a way to help her express and handle her emotions through play therapy. Try teaching your kid these six strategies to blow a gasket without raising an actual ruckus.

Read More: 6 Strategies to Teach Your Angry Kid to Calm Down

Breathe In, Breathe Out,

Laura

Enough With the Goo-Goo-Gaa-Gaa: Reasons to Stop Baby Talk

We all have cute little pet names or voices we might do only for our children, and in fact, I love to change my voice to be silly more than your average mommy. However, not once did I speak to my daughter in baby talk. There’s no shame in a little sweet talk with your little one, but from the start, I spoke to my baby girl (now 4) as a regular person.

One day at the park when my daughter was 2, a woman stopped me to say, “Wow, you really talk to her like she’s an actual person and she speaks very well. Have you always spoken to her this way?”

I said yes and told her the things I did to help my daughter’s blossoming speech production. She said that she had spoken to her first son in “too much baby talk” and was planning on doing something different for her newly born son who she was wearing on her chest.
Read More: Enough With the Goo-Goo-Gaa-Gaa: Reasons to Stop Baby Talk

Voted Most Talkative in 8th Grade,

(Not surprising)

Laura