7 False Things Every Verbal Abuser Wants You To Believe (But You Shouldn’t)

Verbal abusers have a sophisticated way of having you believe their hogwash. They use a lot emotional smokescreens, verbiage, and myths about verbal abuse to keep you under their thumbs; this way, they can feel like a bigger and better person than you are.

With your demise and emotional “shrinkage,” they feed off what you are losing to try and bolster their own weak self-esteem.

The reality is that an abuser is not a confident and happy person. Not ever. The abuser is someone who is unhappy, weak and has poor self-esteem. Like a little parasite, this person tries to feed off others. Here are seven things a verbal abuser wants you to believe, even though you shouldn’t.

1. “It’s your fault.”

If I had a dollar for every time an abuser said, “It’s your fault,” I’d be a rich woman. Abusers want you to believe that any problem is your fault because then you’ll feel bad and do what he or she wants, feel bad about yourself, and grow reliant on the abuser. Plus, reliance on the abuser means the abuser has control.

2. “You made me do it.”

Did the abuser yell at you? Cheat on you? Hit you? Hurt you? The abuser will always try again and again to make you believe that you made this person do whatever it is that upset you. This way, you can feel bad about yourself and grow reliant on them, make the abuser feel better for his or her sh*tty choices, and allow them to gain power over you.

Read More: 7 False Things Every Verbal Abuser Wants You To Believe (But You Shouldn’t)

Don’t Believe the BS,

Laura

Healthy Relationships Happen By Choice, Not By Chance

Do you keep finding yourself in bad relationships that are toxic or abusive? Perhaps unfulfilling or too tumultuous?

Instead of saying, “Oh I just have bad luck” or “I always meet the weird ones” or “Why does this always happen to me?” you need to realize: these relationships aren’t happening to you by chance, but by choice.

People who know how to have healthy relationships did not simply “get lucky” at dating bingo; instead, they made smart, healthy choices about love and their life. That’s why they’re happily and healthily coupled.

Bottom line: a healthy relationship happens by choice, not by chance. Here are 5 signs you don’t know how to have a healthy relationship.

1. You always meet bad guys.

If you find that every guy you seem to meet is a scumbag, that could be chance… as long as you’re not getting involved with them. If you find that the people you meet and subsequently date are “bad apples,” this comes from how you feel about yourself.

Healthy, happy people do not tolerate bad apples for long, or a second even. Healthy, happy people leave a situation once they realize it’s bad. They don’t stay to end up wounded.

Read More: Healthy Relationships Happen By Choice, Not By Chance

True That,

Laura

10 Signs Your RELATIONSHIP Is The Reason You’re Miserable

When someone is in a good relationship, it shows. Their life thrives even under duress, and the relationship is never “in question.” A person in a happy and fulfilling relationship shines in almost every corner of his or her life.

On the other hand, a person in a toxic or unfulfilling relationship has the exact opposite situation. He or she doesn’t thrive. He or she is anxious or often subdued and maybe even depressed. It may seem like “just another relationship,” but the person you spend such an intimate amount of time with will seep into everything you do, think or say.

Here are 10 spot-on signs that your relationship is holding you back from the life you deserve.

1. All the fighting affects your sleep and appetite.

If you and your partner fight so much that you’re constantly having sleep, or if you have appetite issues, your relationship is dragging you into the mud. If there are nights you’re not sleeping and days in which food seems like an option because the two of you are at a crux, it’s not good.

Read More: 10 Signs Your RELATIONSHIP Is The Reason You’re Miserable

End It,

Laura