When a Night Out Isn’t Just a Night Out: Life During COVID-19

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It’s amazing how quickly we adapt to a new way of living. I almost can’t remember a time before this pandemic. As an extrovert, being isolated or relatively isolated has been challenging. I really enjoy working from home as I am very organized and good at time management, so it works for me, but I miss seeing my friends. I miss having normalcy for my daughter especially, as well.

But it’s almost as if this is the way it’s been for a year or more— not just five months.
Wearing a mask that matches your outfit sort of makes sense now. I haven’t really had a use for masks other than the quick trip to the drive thru or at the beach boardwalk, but I started to realize that if I’m going to need masks, I might as well make them cute.

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Tonight was the first night in a long time that I got to enjoy dinner out. It wasn’t crowded, I was masked and I felt comfortable. I was worried it would be too mobbed but since it was a weekday evening, I made out well.

I came home happy. It had been such a long time since I got to enjoy a meal and socialize. I realize that this pandemic has been harder on me than I thought. A lot harder. The isolation has been intense. I miss my family and sadly, I can’t see them as my parents are high-risk. Worse, someone I love has dementia, and I could be missing out on the last precious moments of this person’s cognizance thanks to COVID-19.

This is how it is though— for now. I decided to stop looking to the future and instead, focus on the day. Yes, much like the alcoholic’s anonymous credo, (and nope, I’m not a drinker and never was—- I’m a two drink date!) I’ve decided to focus on one day at a time. And for today, it felt a bit like old times, albeit in a very pretty tie-dye mask. I’m willing to bet Barbie would wear my very outfit and mask.

Hugs to All Of You Alone and Lonely,

Laura

When The Universe (or Whatever God You Believe in) Places Someone Amazing in Your Path

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Photo by chuttersnap on Unsplash

I have had some very hard times over the last six years. I have went through things I never thought I could handle. From long-term unemployment to physical abuse to heartache and legal battles, it was a haul.

To say that I have gotten out of the darkness is an understatement and if it’s not clear, I am very proud of how hard I have worked to be where I am today as a devoted working single mother.

But every now and then, we have someone who helps us on our journey– our twisted paths– that helps us even in the darkest of times.

This person for me, is named Rob.

Rob and I have known each other for about 23 years. We met in a gym years ago, and while at first he was just a very funny, eccentric, smart and quirky man of steel, I have learned– albeit I haven’t cracked the Rob code yet– that he is more than that.

More often than not, he has given me a helping hand, smart advice and an ear.

Over this pandemic, I started training with him virtually and to say that I have seen results doesn’t do it justice. I have seen results.  I am a bit timid  and hard on myself, so I won’t post pics, but I have gotten in solid shape.

If you want to train with him and his program, I guarantee you will get results– just show up! I rarely sing anyone’s praises publicly, so if I am telling you he is good, he is good!

On days that I felt overcome with anxiety about living in a state that is full of COVID-19, I showed up to virtual workouts. On days my stomach hurt or my head hurt because I was tired from working, homeschool and being alone/lonely as a single mom, I showed up to virtual workouts. He and his awesome team, have kept me going. He has encouraged me, offered advice, just been a friend, listened and basically been a steady presence throughout this whole scary freaking mess of quarantine.

I am beyond grateful. There were days I literally told myself– “I can’t miss this workout. I don’t want to let myself down. Or Rob.”

Seeing his face on the other side of the computer … just reminded me I am not as terribly alone as I feel.

So, not only has my body gotten an amazing workout, but my mind and heart has felt a bit less alone in all of this.

Some friends are just more amazing than others– and he really has stood by me in a time when quite honestly, I feel terribly alone doing this with my daughter.

Thank you– to someone who showed up when I needed it. Who has been the true meaning of a friend for me in a time when I am vulnerable and anxious and trying to stay positive and zen.

I hope you all have someone who god, the universe or whatever you believe in– places in your life to help you through. We need each other, now more than ever.

Love,

Laura

4 Signs Someone Isn’t Learning Life Lessons During Covid-19 Outbreak

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https://unsplash.com/@element5digital

If you’re not growing and learning during this public health emergency, what exactly are you doing?
Some people seem to be missing the point of this challenging time. If you’re not getting the point — what is really important and what needs to be prioritized— you’re not learning.

Here are 4 signs you’re completely missing the point and learning nothing during this pandemic:

Lacking Commitment, Patience and Love for People Who Matter

If you can’t put down your issues and be present and available for the ones you love, you’re missing a big life lesson. If you can’t be patient with others ( and yourself) you’re also missing the point.
If you don’t prioritize someone now during this awful event— you have zero priorities.

Grumbling About When You’re Healthy

If you’re healthy, be grateful. Many people aren’t. It’s ok to be  upset about missing milestones and friends. It’s ok to be upset if you’re out of work. 

But if you’re missing the gratitude in being healthy, you’re missing the point.

Not Checking In on Loved Ones / Being an Absent Partner

Now is the time to check in however you can on loved ones from afar or in your home. Now is the time to be present. You’ll never have this kind of time at home again. Don’t make excuses. If you’re emotionally unavailable or checked out— you’ve got problems and you’re taking everyone for granted.

Being Hard on Yourself or Expecting Too Much of Others/ Oneself

Now is not the time to pressure yourself to be perfect or do fifty million things during a stressful pandemic. The same goes for others. Pressuring people or being hard on loved ones is not fair at this time. Be loving. Be patient. Be giving.

Be Safe!

Laura

When You Finally Hit the End of the Road

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Everyone has a threshold of pain, crap, stress, fatigue and nonsense that he or she can take.

I hit mine.

At some point, the pavement ends for all of us. We’ve had our fill and we can’t tolerate or stomach anymore.

You can only be strong for so much, for so long. No one is made of steel. No one is so strong that he or she can’t be weak and succumb to whatever it is that is causing you pain.

Especially when people are pushing you down when you are at your weakest.

I have always had a big heart and tried/try to do the right thing, but apparently news flash, other people don’t.

How many times can one be taken for granted or hurt?

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How Someone Treats You Is a Reflection of Who They Are

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Someone hurt my feelings a bit ago, and I found myself wondering what I had done to earn such behavior. When I dug deep, I realized I had done … nothing. When I spoke to a confidante about the matter, the person said plainly:

This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with this person’s self- view and own issues.

This is good advice.

How people treat us is often an indicator of how they view themselves and feel about themselves, more than anything.
Self- esteem and confidence. Past issues. These factor into many of our behaviors when we interact with others.

So, the next time someone hurts you remind yourself that this person’s actions are a reflection of how he/ she feels about him or herself. It has nothing to do with you.
Not to mention, your actions are in relation to how you feel about yourself.

All we can do is control our own actions. We can’t control if others hurt us or make bad choices. We can just choose how to respond and move forward.

Be Strong,

Laura

The Moment When You Decide You Are Going to Be Loved Exactly As You Want to Be

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We all hit a point in our lives when we decide– whether very early on or later on– that we have had enough and want more.

We all hit that point where we are ready to own our lives and make our dreams come true.

We all come to that point where we decide that we absolutely without a doubt, cannot settle.

No more settling. No more waiting around. No more hoping for things to work out.

No more allowing people who don’t love or value us to continue to have us for nothing.

We decide we are opening ourselves up to all good and amazing possibilities.

From here on out even if the water is rough, we are going full throttle into the deep and finding what we want.

We say “adios” and swim forward to the future.

We find someone who fully embraces us. Fully wants us and cherishes us. Someone who gives us his or her all– just as we do in return.

We open ourselves completely to love in a positive way, whether we are 20, 40, 60 or older. We choose to seek out someone who truly cannot imagine a day or time without us. We choose to seek out someone who really is in it for the long haul– no games or BS> We find someone who loves us as is, flaws and all.

We decide to love and be love– and to ask only and I mean only for the best from our partner.

We decide that taking less than what we deserve is no longer acceptable. It is no longer serving us well.

We decide that we deserve the happy ending– and the happy middle and all.

We choose the best for us because we know we are deserving.

Every single human on this Earth wants to be loved and feel special. All of us.

We all want to be cherished and desired. We want to be loved.

And there will come a day for all of us when we know what we want and we will do everything in our power to get that love we deserve– without hesitation.

With Love & Light,

Laura

 

6 Things to Remember That Will Give You Hope In Love & Life

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Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash

Sometimes all feels lost, but nothing is ever “all lost.”

There is always a star shining through the darkness. A bit of hope when you feel hopeless.

Hope always exists– if you find it. There is always joy to be found in each day– even when it feels as if life has you in a chokehold.

These X things remind me that there is always something to look forward to, around the bend:

Everything ends eventually

Even a wonderful marriage ends– in death. Even a great friendship ends– the same way.

Everything ends, eventually– good or bad. Remember that the bad times can’t endure forever. Everything shifts and changes. Hold on to your reins and keep riding because eventually, you will have outrode the storm.

Even if you’re single– someone exists for you

There is someone out there for you. Someone who will appreciate and care about you.

You may not know this person yet, but this person exists. All you need is an open heart and mind.

Loneliness is temporary.

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The Power of New Love

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Photo by Wyron A on Unsplash

New love is amazing.

It’s the fulfillment that yes, good things do happen! It’s the hope that starts a new day. It’s the fire that starts under your butt when things are bad. Because even when things are bad, love carries us through.

Love has the power to heal the old wounds. To shush our fears and give us faith in things unseen and hoped for.

Love has the ability to make you work a little harder when really, you want to quit.

New love especially reminds you of all the times you cried, felt despair and pain.

New love says to those painful moments:  I saw you, I heard you and here I am to tell you that the bad times aren’t forever.

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Reasons to Love Valentine’s Day Whether Single or Taken

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Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

I love Valentine’s Day. I don’t care if I’m single, taken or jilted … the day to me, symbolizes love and hope for all of us.

I know there are a whole slew of haters on V day and I get it. Why should people (usually men) be pressured to make this magical day of love in order to prove one’s worthiness? We should love each other every day of the year and appreciate all we do for our loved ones. But a little reminder in a busy world can’t hurt! I mean, stopping to say —

Hey dude. I love you.

Or

You mean the world to me– and I express this with 50 different Godiva truffles.

Really isn’t such a bad day. Besides, there is chocolate! Lots and lots and LOTS of chocolate to be eaten. And damn, this girl loves chocolate.

Here are 5 reasons to stop being a little downer on Valentine’s Day– and to celebrate it whether you’re monogamous, polyamorous, or just “sleeping with yourself:”

Treat Yo’ Self

Buy the chocolate. Buy all of the damn chocolate!

My faves?

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How to Deal When People You Care About Make Bad Choices

 

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Photo by trail on Unsplash

When dealing with someone who is resistant to what you want, no matter what it is, it’s important to just let it go and let the person “come” to the decision (or not) in his or her own time.

Whether it’s to be a good parent, be a committed loving partner, be healthier, be a helpful friend or simply make good choices for him or herself, it’s difficult to sit back and watch someone be “stuck” in his or her way of thinking.

For example:

-Your friend wants to keep dating an abusive guy– you wish for her to be free.

-Your love interest is amazing and the two of you click– but she is resistant to committing.

-Your co-parent is absent from your kids’ lives, and you want him to be available.

Your family member is sick and not caring for his health– and you’re worried for him.

What’s the common factor in these scenarios?

You want someone to do something, yet the person is resisting what you want.

It’s frustrating as hell, watching someone hurt him/herself or making a choice that’s keeping the person from being happy in the long run.

The hardest part in all of this is accepting that you can’t change your loved ones or people that matter to those you love.

So, what can you do?

When it comes down to it– give them what they want!

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